Patience Is For Amateurs
by StarsAreAMetaphor
Summary: This series takes place five years after At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate. Puck and Rachel are raising their son in Lima, Ohio learning to deal with the challenges of being young parents. Futurefic/AU
1. Chapter 1

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a great Beta Babe! This is my first Glee fanfic and I'd appreciate any concrit you have to give.

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

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Noah Puckerman had a short fuse as well as short attention span and he enjoyed it. He also used it to his advantage as much as possible. This fact drove Rachel Berry up a wall and Noah knew that. This is why he was being a poor example to small children, well, child and teaching his son Asher the fine art of hurrying up his mother. It was Asher's first day of kindergarten and his mother was in the bathroom. Again. After running the entire apartment like an obstacle course several times the boy decided to change his tactics. The junior member of the Berry-Puckerman clan climbed on the couch and started bouncing while simultaneously calling her name at the top of his lungs. Puck approved. This was something he had actually used many times to get Rachel out the door faster than she wanted. He couldn't understand why she had to spend so much time in the bathroom focusing on her hair, makeup and clothes when she looked fantastic after twenty minutes or one hundred twenty minutes. Noah had brought this up several times in their relationship only to be shut down by a glare he didn't care to see again. He shuddered at the memory.

"Maaaaamaaa!!" in several different sing song voices as well as varying volumes repeated on a loop became the boy's mantra for the following five minutes. Asher was a very persistent boy, intelligent, and quite devious if left to his own devices - very similar to Mr. Noah A. Puckerman, Senior at that age. When things were not happening quickly enough or going in the direction he liked he learned to change the game. The yelling game, he decided would now include his father. His mother was taking too long in the bathroom doing something very boring and he wanted to take his new lunchbox to the bus stop and ride his school bus to his school. He was excited about seeing his friends and wearing his new school uniform. He just could not understand why she was taking so long on his special day.

Asher looked at his father with his saddest face.

"Da! We need to get her out of the bathroom now. It's my first day at kindergarten and I don't want to be late! Please, Da!" he pleaded.

Noah picked up his son and started to talk loudly enough so his wife could hear him. He was hoping this might work to motivate her so everyone could get their day started. Rachel Berry was a creature of habit but could also throw him for a loop at any moment. It could be maddening but it was definitely worth the effort. He loved her more than he could put into words and she knew it. The current problem was annoying the shitout of him and he would resort to breaking the door down and throwing her over his shoulder in about two minutes if she didn't open that door.

"Ash, calm down. Your mother was born early and has been early to everything her entire life. I know she won't make you late for school." Noah reassured his son.

A new plan was hatched as a last ditch; Noah and Asher decided they should lay down outside the bathroom door and beg for her to speed things up. The fact that father and son had very similar personalities occasionally worked in Rachel's favor since she knew certain key phrases and tempting offers that would get them to behave. Today she was at a loss. They would not stop annoying her until they got her way. She loved them both, almost to a fault, but she was considering grounding them both for the next decade if they didn't put a sock in it.

"I love you Asher and Mama is almost done, um, brushing her teeth. Why don't you guys get yourselves ready and I'll meet you outside?" she yelled back.

Rachel gritted her teeth on the other side but continued to sit on the side of the bathtub with her head between her knees willing herself to stop gagging. She tried to focus on the fact that today was a big day for all of them. It was Asher's first day of all day school, her first day as a student teacher and Noah's first full week as a manager at the garage. She ran a brush through her hair, applied her lipstick, and took a last look at herself in the bathroom mirror while she smoothed out the front of her skirt. When Rachel exited the bathroom the "boys" were lying on the carpeted floor pretending to swim and laughing rather hard. They knew they were busted and most likely to get yelled at but they both smiled broadly while pulling her into a group hug. It was always worth a try to divert her attention and showering her with love was an excellent way to do that. As a backup plan they were going to compliment her choice of wardrobe on the way to the bus stop.

Noah and Asher gave each other a high five as they all left the apartment a few minutes sooner than they thought they would.

As they headed toward the bus stop, Asher ran ahead to see a friend and his parents reached for each other and clasped each others hand. Rachel leaned her head against Noah's arm and sighed loudly. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that their son had grown up so fast and was going to school. It seemed like it was just a few weeks ago he was a newborn and they were struggling with teenage parenthood. She shivered as she also was reminded of the time they almost lost him a year later. The painful memory if seeing her baby lying in a hospital bed in a drugged sleep with things going to and from him with beeping machines nearby was almost too much for her. Her husband heard the choked sigh and spoke the words she wouldn't.

"What was that about?" Noah whispered. "Let me guess. You're thinking of the car accident the night of the big glee graduation party and the tool who nearly killed us all? I'm right, aren't I?"

Rachel held his arm closer and continued to walk to where their son had stopped and was talking animatedly to his best friend. She figured they'd talk about it after Asher was on the bus. She saw no reason to distress their son anymore than she absolutely needed. - it was enough his face was scarred because of the accident. The driver that plowed into them walked away perfectly fine minus a car. _The drunk idiot_! She looked up at Noah and smiled.

"Later. The plan is that after Asher gets on the bus, we follow it to school and then meet him at his classroom. As soon as he waves to us we'll talk. Okay?" He knew she was serious and not up for joking about it. Not today. Something else had been on her mind for the last two weeks and he was going to get her to spill. When the woman who wouldn't stop talking clammed up there was always a good reason.

**Shit**.

Noah nudged her as he turned her face up to kiss her lips.

"You also need to tell me why you were barricaded in our bathroom most of the morning. I know something's up Rach. I know you're all worked up over all the changes we've been going through but what has you so scared you're puking your guts out?" he said softly.

Rachel's jaw dropped and she blushed. She'd have to spill. He had that eyebrow quirked and his lip pursed.

"I'm sorry I took so long in the bathroom this morning. I was thinking of just putting a bed in it." She hoped that he'd remember having this conversation before.

Noah chuckled. "We'll have to knock out a wall if you want to do that. It's much smaller than the one at your Dads'."

He paused for a moment and his eyes got wide. He stopped her in her tracks and looked at her without blinking. But before he could get confirmation Asher's bus pulled up and they watched him climb on with his friend, find a seat and wave at his parents.

**Whoa.**

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**_A/N: Please take a moment to comment/review. This is my first Glee fanfic and I would appreciate any constructive criticism you have. Thank you!_  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a great Beta Babe!

Warning: Puck rears his ugly head and cusses like a sailor.

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

**Chapter 2**

Asher's school bus pulled away and Noah could now turn his attention to his wife. She waved for a little longer as the big yellow bus vanished from sight. He contemplated tapping his foot to punctuate his feelings but instead grabbed her hand to walk back to their apartment in silence. They would follow the plan for the day and then talk. His heart was racing as he thought about what Rachel was hinting at. When she was first pregnant with Asher he had woken up in the middle of the night to find her gone from their bed and loudly retching in the bathroom. He still couldn't believe that someone so small could throw up that much! He had crawled out of bed to see how she was doing and found her kneeling on the floor with her head resting on the toilet. He kissed her, held her close, did what he could to comfort her and let her know he was there to stay. He also couldn't help but think about the baby they had lost because of the car accident. Rachel was walking quietly beside him having very similar thoughts.

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Four years earlier~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_The last time Rachel was pregnant it was over before it began. She was feeling poorly the afternoon of the big glee graduation party but wrote it off to not enough sleep and too much excitement. Noah buckled Asher in his car seat and started the car while he waited impatiently for Rachel to come out of the house_

"_Come on, Rach! All the good food is going to be gone by the time we get there! Get a move on!" Noah yelled out the window._

_He couldn't understand why she was in the bathroom again. How many times could that girl brush her teeth? Shit. Both of them were more than a little tired and crabby due to their less than stellar evening. Asher had been up most of the night because of teething. They had done everything they could think of to make him feel better. He had been rocked, given some pain reliever, left to try to cry it out, and his GrandPapa had even wrapped a hot water bottle in a blanket to try to comfort him. In the end, they discovered he just wanted to nurse and fell asleep after feeding lustily. Noah had commented to Rachel that his son had the right idea but decided to quit while he was still intact after a glare from her. He growled as he rolled back to his side of the bed to let her know what he thought of her response. She had been running so hot and cold lately it was hard to tell how she was going to respond. Rachel seemed to be either so focused on Asher she hardly noticed him or she was trying to get him horizontal. _

_A few minutes later Rachel ran out of the house and got in the back seat of the car next to her son. She was definitely ready to get to the party to see her friends, eat some food, and socialize. It had been a difficult senior year for her trying to juggle all her activities, friends, her relationship with Noah as well as doing her best to be a good mother. It was such a daunting task some days she found herself crying for hours feeling overwhelmed and wishing she had a mother to consult. Noah's mother Ruth did her best to try to mentor her son's girlfriend , and Rachel loved her dearly, but there were situations when it wasn't enough. She also knew that as much as her Dad and Daddy loved her beyond measure, they weren't a mother and sometimes that just plain sucked. Rachel hated to use such crass words but they definitely summed it up. She did her best to put her frustrations out of her head - today was all about her academic achievements over the last four years and she was going to have fun._

"_I apologize for taking so long, Noah. I'm still feeling a bit out of sorts because of last night and my stomach seems to hate me." she said quietly. She hated it when they clashed. The guilty feeling she got just sat like a lead weight in her belly and she had to make it right. They wouldn't have any fun at the get together if they were snapping at each other the entire time so she got up the nerve to tell him she was sorry. _

_Noah turned around and winked at her. "Rach, I know we're both running on negative sleep and cranky as hell but don't worry about it. We're going to meet up with our friends and have a blast today. It's your day, babe! You graduated with honors and I'm so proud of you. I know there's a whole shitload of people who will be at this party who think the same thing so let's get going, okay?" He placed his hand to her face and gently traced her jaw line with his thumb. They had both worked very hard to finish high school after Asher was born. It sucked most of the time but because of his experience in auto shop he had gotten a job at Mr. Hummel's garage restoring cars. It brought in enough money to support their little family and put some aside for college courses they might want to take. Noah had taken more automotive classes at the University annex in town to further his knowledge and had done so well Burt had recently given him a raise. He was optimistic about actually having a career and getting them out of Lima. Rachel needed to get to New York some day to try for her dream. _

_Rachel buckled herself in and reached over to hold Asher's hand. "Are you ready to go see the gleeks baby boy? They're going to be so surprised at how big you've gotten. You're almost ready to walk by yourself now aren't you? I love you Ash." She kissed his chubby hand and he babbled back a response. "Mamamama."_

_As they drove across town to Mr. Schue's house they talked about their plans for the summer and how they wanted to move into an apartment of their own. Rachel was very excited about the prospect of starting school at the Lima campus of O.U. in the autumn. She wasn't sure what her major would be but she knew it would involve music and performance in some way. Noah was glad to see her excited about something and hoping she didn't feel like he was holding her back. He told her how he wanted to take some business classes so he could impress Mr. Hummel with this drive to succeed. This was definitely a much better conversation than the one they had in the middle of the night! Both of them felt much better than they had earlier in the day._

_They were about a block from the party when they approached a stop light that was turning from yellow to red. Noah slowed to a stop and waited for the light to change while he looked through some cds and put one in the stereo. As the music started to play the light turned green and he stepped on the gas only to hear Rachel screaming for him to stop. His head turned in her direction to see a pickup truck running the red light and plowing into the side of the car where his girlfriend and son were seated. He reached for them and let out a bloodcurdling scream when he saw that there was nothing he could do but watch everything happen in slow motion. The sight of their crumpled bodies was the last thing he saw until he woke up in the hospital several days later still screaming._

_Noah's mother leapt up from the chair she had fallen asleep in next to his bed. She tried to calm him down while she pushed the call button for the nurse to come and remove the breathing tube they had inserted down his throat. The monitors he was hooked up to started to beep furiously with their lights flashing on and off. Ruth could now hear footsteps approaching quickly to see what the emergency was._

"_Noah! You need to calm down! You were in a car accident and they needed to help you breathe. If you don't quit thrashing the ivs are going to come out and that'll hurt like hell! Calm down." she pleaded. She knew his temper wouldn't let him comply but she did her best to keep him from hurting himself more. He was already pretty banged up with a broken collarbone, badly bruised face along with cuts from the flying window glass. His mother was also worried about what he would do when he was well enough to see Rachel and Asher in I.C.U.._

_The doctor assigned to Noah's care was quickly in his room and carefully removed his breathing tube. Ruth heard her son sputter as he tried to speak. She handed him a cup of water with a straw in it so he could get some liquid to his dry throat. He slowly began to find his voice and started asking questions._

"_What the **fuck** happened to us and where the **fuck** is my family?" he croaked. "The last thing I remember is Rachel screaming and then the truck hit us and then I'm here. Where are Ash and Rachel?"_

_It was explained to him that considering the damage their car had been subjected to it was amazing he was alive. The driver of the truck was drunk and only got a few scratches but his car was also totaled. The doctor didn't reply to the heated questions; he continued speaking and listed all of the injuries and how they were healing but Noah wasn't listening._

"_I said, where the **fuck** is my family?" came the young father's demand again._

"_Mr. Puckerman, you wife and son are being taken care of in our I.C.U and making improvements each day. I am sorry to say that the baby didn't make it. We tried everything we could, but in the end the pregnancy couldn't be sustained due to your girlfriend's extensive injuries. I am sorry." he said with regret._

_Noah understood the first part but the baby? What baby? Rachel was pregnant?_

"_Rachel was pregnant? If she knew, she didn't say shit to me." He hung his head as he ran his fingers through his hair. It should have been obvious that something was off with her but he had missed it. Noah knew he seriously needed to work on his listening skills. The girl he loved had needed him and he had been clueless. Idiot. _

_A few days after Noah woke up in the hospital Rachel had improved enough to be no longer sedated. Her injuries, like Asher's were quite extensive because they were sitting in direct line with the truck's path. The pediatric specialists had let Noah know that it would be a while before his son would be going home since he would have to go through multiple operations and be a common fixture in the physical therapy department for quite some time. Whatever would get his son better he knew he would do it; he had promised Rach that he was there for the long haul and he meant it. It was going to be an exciting day and also definitely difficult. He would have to tell her that she had been pregnant at the time of the crash and that she had miscarried. _

_Noah slowly walked into Rachel's room being careful to not knock the sling his arm was in. It was difficult to walk with all the bruising but he needed to see her. He knew her worried mind would be racing and creating scenarios while she lay in her bed unable to do much. He hoped that he could find the right words and be able to comfort her ; she was going to be in for a rude shock. _

_Rachel gasped when she saw his black eye, cuts and what she correctly guessed was a immobilizer for his broken collar bone. He knew he looked bad but he almost felt guilty he didn't look better the first time she saw him._

"_Oh Noah! Look at your eye, and your arm and… Are you limping?" She was so shocked to see him banged up her only response was to put her hands on the side of his face and cry. It broke her heart to see him like this._

"_Have you seen Asher yet? I'm so worried about him! I asked them over and over today how he was doing and they just kept saying that you'd be in to talk to me." She paused when she saw the tears rolling down his face and his downcast eyes. Her hands quickly went up to her gaping mouth and she started to sob._

"_No Noah! No! You're not going to tell me that our son is dead, I won't let you!" she bellowed. She balled her hands into a fist and started hitting his chest and weeping uncontrollably. Noah put his arms around her , held her close and started to quietly speak._

"_He's not dead, baby. He's hurt pretty badly like you but he's doing better every day. They said we can go see him in a day or two when you're feeling better, okay?"_

_Rachel looked up at him with her tear streaked face and kissed him deeply. "You scared me, Noah. Why didn't you say anything and make me think he was dead?"_

_Now was yet another time in Noah Puckerman's life when he would have to man up and find his spine. He was going to have to tell Rachel about the miscarriage. Fuck. Double fuck. He held her hands as he looked into her eyes and started to speak slowly; choosing his words very carefully. _

"_I talked to your doctors a few days ago and when I asked how you and Ash were doing they said that the baby didn't make it." He was trying to give her a chance to tell him that she had known she was pregnant. From the puzzled look on her face, she hadn't known. _

"_I don't understand. Why would they say that Asher didn't make it if he did? That doesn't make any sense." The moment she heard herself finish the sentence the realization hit her and she put her hands to her belly._

"_I-I-I was pr-pregnant? Noah, I-I had no idea! I'm so sorry, Noah. I'm so, so sorry!" she wept as she lay down on Noah's lap. _

Over the next few months while the family healed, some in more ways than others, they decided they need to move out of the Berry house and into their own apartment. While Rachel's Dad and Daddy were sad to see them go they let them know that they were welcome any time and that they were expected to visit as much as possible. The young couple knew that they needed to work on their relationship; patching up the cracks that had formed after the accident. The hurt from losing a baby they hadn't known about had driven them apart only to bring them closer together. The idea that Rachel might be pregnant again terrified them but they were in this together and if they were blessed with another baby they were ready for that adventure.

**A/N: Please comment/review - concrit is glady appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a great Beta Babe!

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

Noah and Rachel quickly got back to their apartment and climbed in their car to follow Asher's bus. She held his hand while they started their drive to the elementary school. She meekly smiled and tried to catch his eye. He was focused on the road and getting to their destination. Of course trying not to totally flip out at Rachel's bombshell revelation was on his mind too. It was obvious from his furrowed brow that he was thinking, maybe over thinking, the whole potential situation. She remembered how scared he was five years ago when she had first told him that she thought she might be pregnant. It was hard to forget that look - pure unadulterated fear.

Rachel knew he didn't want to be anything like his own deadbeat father but he was afraid that somewhere deep down he'd hit the door running. Of course, there was a minute part of Rachel that was scared he would too. Contrary to the opinion most people used to have of him, he had proved himself to be a good man in the close to eight year duration of their relationship. He was a great father to Asher and he would be a good father to the new (maybe) baby Rachel reassured herself. She exhaled loudly.

"I know you're mad. I know I should have told you the second I thought I might be pregnant again. I was scared, Noah. I guess I just shut down when it got to be too much. I apologize for being deceitful and keeping something to myself that I should have shared with you." she whispered.

"So what makes you think you're pregnant again and how long have you known and more importantly why didn't you tell me sooner?" He still wouldn't look at her.

This was not going well. She had imagined that their potential conversation had all the earmarks of being difficult but wasn't quite ready for Puck to rear his ugly head. Noah loved her but Puck; he was an asshole. It was almost a Jekyll and Hyde thing in Rachel's mind. When her husband felt like he was threatened, he became Puck and lashed out to protect himself. It was a rare situation, thankfully, but he was under stress so she wasn't immensely shocked. She was sorely unprepared so the tears started quite easily.

"We worked really hard on our relationship after the accident, Rach and we promised each other we'd honest - even if it hurt. What happened to that promise? You never lie, babe. Never. Why would you do it this time?" he asked.

Both Rachel and Noah had grown up since then because of their focus on helping Asher through rehabilitation. He had to learn how to walk, talk and function like an average baby all over again. It was a huge challenge for the teens to deal with, thankfully they had lots of guidance from counselors at the hospital. It had been difficult enough being students and teen parents but when they also had to focus on arranging multiple therapy appointments for their son it nearly broke them. Rachel had stopped talking to him and practically lived at the hospital so she could watch over her son. Noah had started going to his mother's house to avoid going home to empty rooms. When their families had finally pieced things together they locked them in the Berry's basement until they had worked it out. They had promised each other they would never avoid their problems and face things head on together.

Her lie of omission had disappointed Noah and it hurt that she hadn't told him that anything had been on her mind. Their focus over the last few weeks had been preparing their son for his adventure into all day school. He had noticed her having more quiet moments, those terrified him, and had told her that he would listen when she was ready to talk. Noah had expected her to say that she was sad about Asher growing up so quickly and how she'd miss him but the prospect of another child was completely different. They had talked about another child after at least one of them had a Bachelor's Degree and "real" career. He got paid well doing car restoration for Burt Hummel and was also being paid to take more classes at the local O.U. annex. How could both of them finish their degrees with a second child? He doubted they could. Rachel and Noah had saved part of their paychecks ever since their son was born to make sure they could give him everything other kids had; this would certain throw a monkey wrench into that plan.

"I took about half a dozen tests when I was late. All of them positive." she paused and watched the suburban sprawl go by as they pulled up to the elementary school. Noah parked the car, put on the parking break and waited for the answer to his second question.

"I-I-I apologize for not telling you the moment I suspected. Really, Noah. Really." she sniffled and tried to hold his hand. He pulled from her grasp and asked the pressing question again.

"How. Long. Rachel. How long have you known?" he said through his clenched jaw. "How long have you known you were pregnant Rachel? Days, weeks maybe? Have you told anyone else, Rach? Your Dads? Quinn? Finn? My Mom? Miss Pillsbury?"

Rachel's eyes welled and tears began to fall. She knew she had handled it badly; she should have told him immediately when she knew something was off. "F-f-four weeks. I've known for four weeks." She quickly grabbed his hand and put it on her abdomen. He gasped and stared at her as she guided his hand from one hip to the other along with the firm, small swell in between. She held his hand there, hoping that his heart would soften at the physical evidence of their baby.

"Shit, Rach! How far along are you, about to start your second trimester? You've known for a fucking month - a month! Why didn't you tell me sooner? I missed and entire month of sharing this with you." his voice cracked with emotion. He knew why she didn't say anything sooner, she was afraid he's overreact like he was.

She continued to cry, occasionally hiccupping and wiping her nose with a tissue she had fished out of her purse. Noah turned her face up toward his with his fingertips and wiped the tears off her face. He felt awful for snapping at her but he felt betrayed. She had brushed his concerns away when he had asked her point blank what was wrong. Rachel only said she was worried about Asher's first day of school or something trivial like a bill that needed to be paid. He had given her chance after chance to tell him what she was really thinking about - another baby.

"You know, babe, you're making it really difficult to be pissed at you when you're crying like that. Of course showing me your baby bump really softened me up. Jerk. That's dirty pool you punk! Why can't you ever let me be mad at you?" he chuckled, sticking his tongue out at her.

Her face cracked a little smile. "I-I-I can't apologize enough, Noah. I really mean it. I just wanted to wait until I was through my first trimester." her bottom lip jutted out as she spoke. Noah knew she felt guilty and at least he understood why he had kept it from her. It was impossible to be mad at her for any time.

"I was scared. I was scared we might lose this baby too. You're not furious I'm pregnant again before we wanted? I know it's going to totally mess up our plans but I'm pretty excited, to be honest. I have an appointment Friday right after school to get my first ultrasound." Rachel was now grinning and had put Noah's hand back on her very small bump.

"Obviously I'm not furious, Rach. Can you understand why I was angry? You flat out lied when I asked you what was bothering you. You lied. You must have been scared shitless do something so unlike you! I can't remember a time that you ever consciously lied to me. I think that's what hurt the most. I've also missed an entire month of our baby's being and only because you were scared. Please, talk to me the next time you're scared. Please?" Noah leaned over toward Rachel and kissed her, using all the reassuring words he could think of.

"I'm glad you finally know, honestly. It was horrid trying to act like there wasn't anything bothering me. I guess I thought it would be easier if I didn't say anything and then I wouldn't jinx it." Rachel sat for a moment and enjoyed the warmth of his arms.

"You know we're going to talk some more, right? I don't want to ignore this, Rach. Seriously. When you get home tonight we're going to bring Ash over to your Dads and we're going to sit down and talk. A lot." he winked at her and twirled her long hair. "Got it? I'll call them and make sure it's okay and I'll have dinner ready when you walk in the door. That way we can focus on talking. Okay?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "So I'm guessing from your incredibly subtle way, that we're going to talk tonight. Got it."

After a short pause Noah clapped his hands and said "Okay. That was enough drama for now, don't you think? Let's go to our son's classroom and see how he's doing!" Rachel nodded and was relieved that her secret was out. Her husband knew and it was going to be okay.

**Please take a moment to comment/review. It's what writers live off of!**


	4. Chapter 4

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a great Beta Babe!

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

By the time Noah and Rachel got to the classroom doorway she had already called her Dads and made arrangements for that night. She was a bit apprehensive about the discussion she knew they'd have but was glad that everything was out in the open. Keeping things from him took an incredible amount of energy that she just didn't seem to have at the moment. It was hard enough to keep up with Asher and Noah! They were constantly busy and somehow dragged her into their adventures even when she vigorously protested. Camping, while one of the boys favorite things to do, was not her favorite. Irregardless, she threw herself into it and actually was starting to enjoy it. She was still working the subtle nuances of sports. She loved to see the two most important people in her life throwing potato chips at the television when their team wasn't doing what they wanted, but the rules of the games still eluded her. Noah was great with their son and she'd have to remind him of that again with all the added stress she had thrown at him.

"Sweetie. Baby. Cookie. Quit thinking so hard! I think you just blew up the hamster!" he joked. He knew he'd catch hell for saying that but he really wanted her to quit over-thinking the situation. It would be especially awesome in this situation.

She batted his arm and then hugged him tightly. "Look who's talking, punk! I think I smell fire coming from your ears." she retorted. "You quit that. We're here to check on our son, not play verbal ping pong. Got it?" Rachel used a few playful jabs to his chest to help punctuate.

Noah put his hands up in mock surrender and kissed her on the top of her head. "Nut." he says in a whisper.

Asher's teacher Ms. Flynn greeted them at the door after they waved to Asher. The school secretary had notified her that his parents would be stopping in to check on him and introduce themselves. They hadn't been able to attend parents' night the week before because of their work schedules; Rachel had thought it was a good idea to meet her before conferences in a few months. She considered it a preemptive strike so the older woman wouldn't be too shocked when she met them. Noah didn't care about what ideas Ash's teacher might get, but if Rachel was concerned he could at least fake it for a few minutes.

"It's very nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Puckerman. I'm so sorry you couldn't attend our parents' night. I understand how hard it is with both parents working." she shook their hands and smiled.

Noah applied his best grown-up grin and firmly grasped her hand. There were times he wished he could use his Fight Club skills to take care of annoying things like impressing adults, but he figured jail time would be involved and he'd much rather be bunking with Rachel, than some scary guy named Tiny. He knew this was a part of parenting he hated but was very much necessary.

"Very nice to meet you too, Ms. Flynn! Please call us Rachel and Noah." Rachel interrupted rather quickly. "We wished we could have been here, too. That's the difficult part of providing for your child, choosing what events you can and can't attend. We wanted to stop by and give you a little information on our son and answer any questions you might have."

Ms. Flynn thought for a moment before speaking. "I remember reading in his file that he was injured in a car accident as a baby and it occasionally limits his activities. He's also been recommended for Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, and speech services to help him get caught up to his peers. Our SpEd team sent out a packet a few weeks ago with his preschool Individual Educational Plan enclosed, were you able to read that over and sign it?"

Noah looked from the teacher to Rachel with his eyes wide. "Rachel? Did you finish that packet? I apologize for not helping enough." he tilted his head to the side. Obviously she had gotten the packet, filled it out and returned without letting him know about it. Their talk later that day just got stepped up a notch. He knew that Ash still had to deal with the extreme injuries he had sustained but never looked at his son like he should to be classified as a kid who needed extra help. Their boy did this just like other kids his age, didn't he? He and his wife didn't really compare their son to some list in a book of things he should be doing. They were just happy he was alive and doing well after almost dying.

Rachel gave Noah an apologetic look and tried to recover. "Uh, yes. Yes, Ms. Flynn. I brought it to the school office last week when I stopped in to get the music room set up - speaking of which.. I really need to get going. It was very nice to chat with you. We'll speak again soon." she grabbed Noah's hand and dragged him toward the room where she would be student teaching.

Ms. Flynn stood in her doorway with a rather dismayed and curious look on her face. She wasn't sure how dedicated two kids could be to a boy that obviously needed help. "Definitely an interesting way to start the new school year." she muttered.

Down the hall, Rachel and Noah were having a heated discussion and trying to keep their voices quiet to not disturb the surrounding classrooms. Noah was at his boiling point after her earlier revelation , this was not shaping up to be the best of days. He was excited about the baby, but pissed off that she had lied to him again.

"Seriously, Rach? Are you fucking kidding me?" he hissed. "The fucking school thinks our kid is a retard and you didn't even fucking bother to tell me! I know he sometimes isn't as fast as his friends and isn't the best conversationalist but why the fuck do they think he needs all this extra help?"

"Noah! Calm down! I know yelling at me is good way to vent but it sure won't help the situation." she was trying to keep her voice down but from the looks she was getting it seems she was failing on yet another front today. _Shit. _"You're rightfully pissed at me. I get it. I've screwed it up again, didn't I? First, I tell you I'm pregnant and then I don't tell you about Ash needing some extra help at school." she exhaled loudly and then launched herself at Noah, hugging him as closely as she could, sobbing into his chest. He did the only thing he could, stroke her hair and assure her things were going to work out.

"I'm still pissed at you and we're still going to talk later. You've also got a shitload of explaining to do. I want to know what that packet was all about and why Ash needs help. I'm all for it, Rach, as long as he needs it. You know that." he was trying to keep his temper even, trying, being the operative word.

Noah grabbed Rachel's hand and walked her to the music room. Placing a kiss on her lips he spoke quietly as he looked into her red rimmed eyes. "We're going to talk tonight. We're going to clear the air between us and we're both going to spill every secret we have. Understand?"

"Yes. I understand. I don't want you to think I'm lying to you or keeping something from you every time I open my mouth. I am so sor-, I apologize, Noah. " she sighed loudly. She wasn't really looking forward to their conversation anymore. Earlier Noah had given her a glance that made her think it was just a ruse to get her into bed. She was assured that none of that would be happening tonight. _Shit._

He hugged her close again, placing a hand on her waist.. "Tonight. Please don't go over it in your head all day, okay? It's not good for you or the baby. We'll have a nice dinner tonight while Ash hangs out with your Dads. They'll have fun and we'll have fun. Of course after we have dinner we'll definitely have to enjoy some dessert." a big grin crept across his face with a quirked eyebrow.

"I feel a little bit better now that I know there's potential dessert in our future." she giggled.

They said their goodbyes in the hallway.

"I love you, babe. Give me a call and I'll pick you up after school." Noah winked at her, starting to walk away.

"I love you, too. We're okay, aren't we? We'll fix this, right?" she was starting to panic.

"Yes. I've told you before, Rach that I'm in this for the long haul. I mean it." he smiled. "We'll do this."

Rachel knew this day would go by quickly since she'd be busy giving the students tours of the newly decorated music room and telling them what was in store for their upcoming year. She wasn't sure how that night would go but that it would be important. She just prayed she didn't screw this up, too.

Noah's day was busy with customers, placing parts orders and making sure the following week's schedule was complete. He ate a quick lunch while he was on the phone with a supplier, he made sure to keep himself focused on work and not the conversation he'd be having that evening. The next time he looked at the wall clock it had just turned 4:00. A text came from his father in law - _Met Ash at the bus stop. He's having a snack now and then off to the park. Have a great dinner tonight! _Rachel's Dads had been a fantastic support for the young family. They would babysit at a moment's notice or show up with groceries when they were needed. Noah knew they were lucky having such a great family behind them, giving them whatever they needed. His cellphone ringing brought him out of his thoughts.

"Mr. Puckerman?" a strange voice said.

"This is Noah Puckerman. Who's this?" he barked. It was not amusing to have strangers know his name.

"This is Ms. Flynn, Asher's teacher. I was calling to let you know that your wife fainted at school and they've taken her to Lima Memorial Hospital." she paused and then continued when Noah didn't respond. "She came down about an hour ago to see how Asher's day went and she said how lightheaded she was feeling. Next think I knew she was lying on the floor."

Noah quickly yelled to Mr. Hummel to let him know that there was an emergency he had to take care of but he'd call as soon as he could.

"Thank you Ms. Flynn. Do the paramedics know she's pregnant?" he was definitely panicking now.

A small gasp from the teacher confirmed what he suspected. They had no clue. _Shit._

"I'm on my way. Could you please call them and let them know that she's pregnant? She's about twelve weeks and her last pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Can you do that for me, please?" he pleaded.

"No problem, Mr. Puckerman! I'll do that right away. They really need to know that." she agreed.

"Thank you, again." he hung up his phone and sped to the hospital.

Noah parked his car and sprinted through the automatic ER doors towards the main desk, his brain going faster while the sinking feeling in his stomach got worse.

"My wife, Rachel Puckerman was just admitted. She fainted at the elementary school and I was told they brought her here. Can you tell me where she is, please?" he panted.

The nurse quickly typed in her name, found out which exam room she was in, and took him to her.

Noah pulled back the curtain to find Rachel staring at a sonogram, crying.

"Oh, Rach! No! Please, no!" his heart was breaking. She was so happy about another chance and now it was taken away.

She sniffled a few more times while a smile crept across her face.

"It's okay, Noah. Look at the sonogram. They're both okay." she grinned even wider.

"Why are you smiling with tears running down your cheeks and -- both? What do you mean they're both okay?" his jaw dropped as he looked at the printout.

_Two babies! Twins? Whoa._

**A/N: Please take a moment to review or comment. We appreciate the feedback - it lets us know how you like it!**


	5. Chapter 5

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs** (sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks, Berry Dads and Puckerman family

Rating: M - Puck cusses like a longshoreman on principle and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own gLee. I only own the CDs, DVD, and a McKinley football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

_A/N: A huge cyberhug to cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a very patient Beta Babe._

_ Thank you also to insaneantics21 for giving me concrit. _

_ Finally, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment. I appreciate it! (Look Hails! New chapter!)_

**_"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr._  
**

* * *

Noah stood there in stunned silence staring at the ultrasound. _Two babies. Two? Whoa. Fuck me_.

"Two babies? Two?" he splayed a hand on Rachel's gown clad midsection looking between her face and the ultrasound printout. "I know I'm looking at this and I can see two but why can't I wrap my brain around it? I'm looking at little bitty you, remembering how big you got with Ash. Shit! I also cannot imagine what it will be like with three kids! Damn, I think you just broke my brain, Rach, I don't think I can stop babbling."

Rachel continued to beam up at him while her tears made a trail down her face. She was sure she was going to miscarry again after waking up in the hospital.

_What a crazy surprise it was when the ER doctors pulled out a Doppler only to hear two heartbeats instead of one! She was sure it was one of the best sounds she had heard in a very long time - two very strong, very fast beating hearts. She sat there in shock just listening to the thumping of dual hearts as it filled the exam room_

"You know, when they were trying to find the baby's heartbeat I was bawling so loudly I almost didn't hear it. I was so sure that I'd hear nothing that I cried even harder. I was terrified it was going to happen again." she whispered as she fiddled with her wedding rings. "I don't know if I could handle losing another child, Noah. It broke my heart.. last time."

Noah planted a kiss to her forehead as a knock sounded at the door. He opened it to see a smiling ER doctor with a rather full clipboard.

"Mr. and Mrs. Puckerman, I'm Dr. King, the attending physician." she shook both their hands as she read Rachel's file. "It seems that your fainting Mrs. Puckerman, was caused by rather low blood sugar. When was the last time you ate today?"

Rachel couldn't remember. She told the doctor that she had some breakfast but that ended up flushed down the toilet. She had tried to eat some lunch but after a whiff of the lunchroom she couldn't even swallow a bite her nausea was so bad.

"Considering your medical history, Mrs. Puckerman we're going to have to monitor this pregnancy very carefully. Multiples in a woman of your young age and small size can run into complications so let's be extra vigilant, okay?" It was obvious Dr. King wasn't trying to scare them, just make a point of how important it was for Rachel to be taking care of herself as well as the babies.

Noah looked at his wife's very serious face as she listened to the doctor intently. He knew that Rachel would do whatever she needed to do to make sure to see this pregnancy resulted in two healthy babies. He squeezed her hand and winked at her in an attempt to reassure her. Biting his tongue was a skill he was working on (totally not his idea ) and from the mood in the room, now was the time to use is.

_Shit. She knows all this! If you read the fucking file you'd see that she'd been pregnant before. Dumbass doctor. Just because she's under thirty doesn't mean she's got the IQ of a squirrel._

"She has an appointment with her obstetrician on Friday. Could you make sure he gets all of this stuff so he knows what's going on?" Noah was trying to help Rachel who looked like a deer in headlights; focusing on the doctor in an attempt to take in all the information she was being given. _Trying_.

"I was just about to ask about that, Mr. Puckerman. Thank you for reminding me. You're with Dr. Connor who's just upstairs, right?"

Rachel nodded.

"Excellent. I'll fax that right up to him, and then we can get you checked out of here. I'm sure you want to get home to your own bed." Dr. King smiled at them both as she exited the room.

Rachel saw the look of shock on Noah's face when she had said she hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.

She was afraid that a lecture with some yelling was soon to be aimed at her. What a confusing rollercoaster of a day going from great to bad to worse and finally settling on … she hoped great again.

Dr. King returned with the discharge papers in her hands with some pamphlets on care during a pregnancy with multiples. Noah grabbed the packet as he thanked the doctor.

"Thank you for helping my wife today, I really appreciate it." he shook her hand.

The doctor left and Rachel began putting her clothes back on. She finished quickly so they could get home; she had been here long enough.

"Let's go home to enjoy some quiet before my Dads bring Asher home. I'd rather not tell them I fainted today or why, okay? I'd really like to keep it to ourselves for a while, although I'm not sure how long that will be." she said as she put her hand to her small bump. "I'm already starting to show at the beginning of my second trimester! Damn. I'm going to get huge, aren't I?"

Noah gasped dramatically when he heard her use an expletive. He pulled her into a hug as they walk out of the ER to find their car in the parking lot. "Babe, I've told you this a butt load of times but I'm in this for the long haul. It doesn't matter how big you get or how crazy you get from the hormones, I'm not going anywhere. Got it?"

* * *

He let her pick a movie when they got home so she decided on one of her favorite musicals. He audibly rolled his eyes as he saw the opening credits for "Funny Girl" start on the screen. Noah will never tell her this but because she loves it so does he. When they were first dating in high school she spent an entire weekend explaining to him the many reasons this was one of her favorites so when she asks to watch it he concedes. He knew he was whipped but he knew even more that she made him better, this is why he tries to do the same for her. She says that he has helped her know when it's okay to focus on the itty bitty stuff and when it's okay to just let it go. Noah is the last person who would want to argue with his wife about a compliment, but he really doesn't see it.

She kisses him deeply when she thanks him for coming to get her at the ER. _It's good to be home!_

"Shit, yeah I was coming to get you! First you tell me we're having another baby, then I get a call from Ash's teacher that an ambulance came to get you. You really need to cut that shit out, babe. You also gotta eat something. What can I get you?" he taps his foot, waiting.

He's trying not to push her too hard but the worry comes across in his voice. The shock of finding out she fainted added to the crazy fact that they're having twins has definitely freaked him out.

"Maybe just a PB & J? Grape jelly sounds really good for some reason." she smiled as he got up to make her a sandwich. "Can you toast the bread, please? I think crunchy will make it taste better."

Noah quickly returned with a messy concoction for her to enjoy. He indulged her love of the dramatic and presented it to her with broad hand gestures. She saw from the look in his eyes that he's trying to break the tension in the room.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it, I guess I am a little hungry. Fingers crossed it sticks!" she's obviously not convinced it will but nibbles away at it.

They continued to watch the movie for a while until the non-talking got to him. Noah didn't like the lull in the conversation so he spoke up. "Okay, we have about an hour until our dear boy gets home so let's make the best of this."

She sets her plate down so she can lean into the crook of his arm. They sit close together on the couch for a while half watching the movie until she takes his hand and puts it on her still small belly.

"I'm thinking about how our life is going to be in the next year, Noah. I have to admit I'm scared, probably more than I have been in my life. Maybe it's because I know what it takes to take care of a baby but I'm pretty close to terrified when I think about two newborns." she's stared at their intertwined hands while she sniffled. "So many things are just rushing through my head!" Rachel exhales loudly.

Noah nudged her to let her know she needed to continue, that's what they were supposed to be doing after all._ Talking._

She didn't want to continue because it felt like she was whining. She knew how grateful she was for the life they have as well as their son. He waited for her to speak, so she continued.

"We were just starting to keep our heads above water with bills. We have a nice savings account now so we're not scrimping like we used to. Our parents aren't offering to help us as much as they used to. Our cars are both paid off . No credit card debt. Do I really need to keep going?" her tears flowed down her cheeks so Noah squeezed her close.

"I'm just as scared as you are, Rach. I know how hard we've worked to get to where we are. I mean, we're young parents who have done really well for ourselves. We both have good paying jobs with benefits, we live in a nice apartment with nice things. Now we're terrified we've totally fucked up our lives by having another kid too soon."

Noah clenched his jaw as he immediately regretted his last statement the second it came out of his mouth;the shocked look on her face just made him feel even worse.****_Fuck._

"I know, Noah. I was thinking the same thing. It just makes me feel worse hearing it." she said quietly.

Their talk had definitely not ended up the way either of them had expected. Rachel had hoped for a nice meal with her husband followed by some make up sex after their argument that morning. Noah hadn't thought much about dinner but had been focused on their after meal activities for a good portion of his work day.

"I love you, Rach. I'm scared as hell but I'm also kinda excited about another chance. After the accident I wasn't sure if I wanted any more kids it hurt so much. We'll do whatever you want, babe. Do you want to do this again?" he waited for her response.

"I was so scared I was having another miscarriage today, Noah. I felt like I was being punished for not telling you. After seeing and hearing their heartbeats today there's no way I couldn't want them. To be honest, I think I just needed to hear that you wanted to do this. I feel much more optimistic." she said a little bit louder.

"So we're gonna do this? We're going to have another baby? I mean, babies." he corrected himself.

"Yes. Babies! Two more Puckermans to add to the well oiled chaos." Rachel looked at Noah wide-eyed and squeezed his arm. "What are we going to tell Asher? He is going to go mental! He has been asking us to have a little brother for the longest time. What is he going to say when he finds out it's twins?"

"Asher is going to be bouncing off the walls! What about Quinn and Kurt and **OH SHIT**! What about your Dads and my Mom and Hannah? So when are we going to spread the good word that I got you knocked up again?" Noah grinned at Rachel.

"Ugh," her eyes rolled when she heard this. " Could you make it sound a little bit more appealing? We're not in high school anymore. We are adults who are terribly responsible with an adorable five year old genius of a son!" she corrected him.

Noah's cell phone beeped. He slid it open to read the text.

_Message from Steve Berry_

"Who is it? Dad or Daddy?"

"It's your Daddy. He just wanted to let us know that they're on their way." he rubbed his hands together and raised his eyebrows at her. "So we've got about fifteen minutes to get down to business!"

She groaned again. "Second base, Noah Puckerman. That's it! We don't have nearly enough time to get any further than that."

They just enjoy kissing each other until their son gets home.

_Definitely a much better end to the day than the start!_


	6. Chapter 6

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth on principle and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a great Beta Babe! Thank you to insaneantics21 for the encouragement and kicking my caboose.

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

Rachel was downstairs doing yet another load of laundry wondering how she could do so much while never being finished. _Another question for the alchemists_! She pulled the warm clothes out of the dryer, folding them carefully before placing them in the laundry basket. She smiled as she looked at Asher's favorite pair of socks with robots on them that were becoming threadbare from love. Thankfully, she had bought the next two sizes just to be safe. Her life had changed so much in the last five years it was startling. The five year plan she had drawn up freshman year in high school was entirely different from the way this had gone. Academically she had kept her grades high so that had gone to plan, but she certainly had never thought she'd fall in love with a football player with a foul mouth. _Oh what that mouth could do!_ Rachel blushed as she remembered a kiss they had shared earlier that evening and hoped it would lead to after Asher was asleep. She knew the next year would have enormous change for their little family, quite overwhelming if she spent too much time focusing on it. _What have we gotten ourselves into? How are we going to be able to deal with three kids, school, and marriage? Something was going to suffer, she knew that much, but what would it be?_

Noah was in the bathroom running the water for a particularly energetic kindergartener to bathe after a long day of hard play. He was also mentally multitasking, he was still pissed about not being told that his son needed extra help at school and the fact that Rachel had waited an entire month to tell him she was pregnant. They were annoyances sitting in the back of his head growing while they festered slowly gathering speed as the night wore on. He regretted that had let it go during their earlier talk. It was supposed to be a talk and ended up with them avoiding most of the talking they should have. Then there was some pretty intense making out. Why did he always get off track when she cried? It was his own personal kryptonite. _Shit_.

_Instead of talking to my wife I'm giving my son a bath. _As much as he loved spending time with his son, he really needed to be taking care of business in his marriage._ I love you, Rach. What's with this keeping secrets shit? I'm the one who usually lets it go until you drag it out of me. We're going to deal with this tonight, damn it!_

Asher climbed into the filled tub with his floating zoo of animals. They immediately start attacking each other making rather loud robotic noises. Noah chokes back a laugh as he watches his son play for a while. _He must get his creativity from Rach because who else would consider world domination with cows and ducks?_

"Da? I played on the monkeybars today! I went all the way to the top and then the teacher maked me get down. But it was **awesome**. I could see the whole playground up there!" Asher submerged the big yellow duck as he told his father about his exciting day. It quickly popped up splashing him in the face making him sputter.

"All the way to the top? That is **awesome**, little dude! Gimme a fist bump." Noah held his fist out to gently bump his son's much smaller hand. That particular view of the playground was something he had loved when he was a kid so hearing his son's story made him quite proud. Ash wasn't that different from kids his age, was he? He knew he had obvious scars from the multiple operations and a slight limp but his swimming therapy had really helped that. Maybe the school was right, his son needed a little extra help. _He is so smart about things he loves, so much smarter than I was at his age!_

"Bump!" squealed the boy. Asher laughed when his father pretended to miss several times before finally hitting it. "Da! Hit it again!" They bump twice then a high five.

Noah squeezed the shampoo into his son's hair then started massaging it into his scalp. They made horns out of his hair as the bubbles started forming. Asher continued with his stories while his father carefully rinsed the bubbles out.

"At lunch we got to go eat in the lunchroom. It was so cool Da! There's gotsta be hundreds of people at my school. Whoa. That is a lot of people!" his son exclaimed.

"You're right dude! That is a lot of people. Any cute girls in your class, Ash? Anyone as pretty as Mama?" Noah wiggled his eyebrows. He knew what his son would say since this was a topic of conversation many times before. They had both agreed that there couldn't possibly be someone has good looking as Rachel or as smart.

Asher shook his head. "Da! Nobody is as pretty as Mama. You know that! Sheesh."

After rolling his eyes, Asher told his father about his new classroom, the new kids in his class, then looked up to see that the man was staring off into the air. " DA! I was talking to you saying very important things and you are not listening! Hmph."

Noah returned his gaze toward the tub and blinked a few times. He knew he was busted. He hasn't heard every word his son was saying, he would have to pull this one out of his totally busted ass.

"What? I was totally listening. You were talking about the guinea pig in your classroom, named Mr. Piggles if I remember correctly and then you were talking about some kid named Charlie who 'totally eats his boogers'. Am I right, Ash? Hmmmm?" Noah splashed his son just enough to get a few drops on his face. This of course lead to Asher returning the favor until it eventually escalated to Noah accidentally falling into the tub with the boy, yelling loudly as he fell. Rachel raced upstairs into the bathroom only to see the two laughing hysterically.

"Hey there, babe! I was have a nice chat with our very smart son here and suddenly I was pulled into the bathtub with him. I don't know what happened!"

She just shook her head. _How did so many of the epic messes in their house seem to be tied to Noah trying to make Asher laugh? Probably most of them._ Rachel knew life would never be boring if it was left up to her guys! Between the two of them she was constantly busy and if she was honest, very happy. They loved her unconditionally no matter how stressed she got or how crazy she made them. They also made her want to be a better person and mother.

"What are you two boys up to?" she laughed. "There seems to be a flood in the bathroom, do either of you know why that is?"

Noah clumsily climbed out of the tub dripping wet with a big grin on his face. He stood up and the water quickly pooled at his feet then started to creep across the linoleum floor. His arms stretched out to pull Rachel into a tight hug. He loved moments like this more than he thought he would. His father had left when he was a little bit older than Ash leaving him with a pretty shitty example of fatherhood until he had Mr. Schue and Rachel's parents as a male influence.

"Noah! Please let me go! You're getting me all wet." she squealed while she tried to wiggle out of his grip. Her pleas went disregarded as kisses were peppered over her face rather loudly. This was going to be a challenge trying to escape. Rachel was trying to be careful to stand away from the puddles so she wouldn't accidentally slip._ I've had enough ER trips for today!_

"C'mon, babe. Why don't you join us? We're don't want to have all the fun, do we Ash?" he looked at his son who was clutching his stomach he was laughing so hard.

Rachel continued to struggle against Noah's arms as she returned his kisses. She brought his arms down around her waist to gently remind him he needed to be a little less rough with her. From the surprised look on his face when he felt her bump again, he had pushed it to the back of his mind. She wasn't terribly surprised. She had known for the last month that she was pregnant while he had only known for a few hours. Noah stopped trying to push her in the tub and kept his arms around her.

"Oops. I need to be more careful with Mama! She got sick at school today so we need to take care of her, right Ash?" he felt badly for being a bit too rough so he was trying to apologize.

Ash looked rather panicked at hearing that his mother was sick since he hadn't heard about it earlier from his grandfathers. He didn't like it when he didn't know things that were important. He glared at his parents to show them how unhappy he really was. His mother grabbed a towel to wrap him in and carefully helped him out of the tub. She knelt down as she put him on her lap.

"I felt sick to my stomach and I had to go see my doctor at the hospital. I'm feeling much better now that I've eaten and I'm home with my two favorite guys. Please don't be mad, Bug." she said quietly.

She put her forehead against his, giving him a kiss on both cheeks. She had always told him that she would tell him everything because she hated secrets. He had kept his part of the bargain but she hadn't. This was one of those difficult embarrassing parenting moments she despised - she would admit she was wrong.

"I, **we** were wrong to not tell you sooner, sweetie." Rachel looked over at her husband who was nodding his head. "I apologize for that, Asher. Please forgive us for not telling you when you got home?"

Their son wasn't going to give in so easily. He continued quietly waiting while he stared at the floor. It seemed he knew that there was more to be said and he wasn't going to forgive them unless they told him everything. His silence was making his parents squirm uncomfortably as they shot looks to each other trying to figure out what to do next. They had both hoped that they could put off telling him about the pregnancy for a few weeks when it became physically obvious something was different. Unfortunately it seemed that Asher had trumped them so they would have to spill everything. **Boy - 1, Adults - 0**

Noah lifted Asher off his wife's lap, hugging him close as they walked to the boy's bedroom. He hoped that after the bedtime routine was completed his son would be a little less mad at them. Rachel followed and as soon as pajamas were in place she continued talking.

"There is more that we should say to you, Asher. We just didn't think we would have to tell you so soon." she looked to Noah and then to their son. She took his small hand to place it on her midsection, dragging it from one side to the other so he could feel the bump. He could tell that he should know something because of that but he couldn't figure out what. He knew it was something he wanted but what was it? Rachel saw his puzzled face so she answered his questions.

"We're going to have another baby, that's what I'm trying to say, Ash. Your Da and I are really excited about it. Are you?" she looked to her son for a response.

Asher immediately jumped up on his bed bouncing excitedly yelling that he was going to be a big brother several dozen times.

Noah shot a glance at Rachel with a smirk on his face. "Well, that went much better than I thought it would!"

* * *

After their son was finally asleep Noah and Rachel climbed wearily into their bed. Rachel lay on her side while her husband slid over to spoon her. It was quiet for a few minutes before she started to speak.

"Why are you still mad, Noah? I thought we were on the same page about this whole thing. You're excited, right?" her voice sounded very small and sad.

_He had asked her earlier who she had told about the pregnancy but she never answered the question. He knew that there was no way she could have kept that kind of shit to herself. She had to have told at least one person. Quinn? She and Rachel were still close. Her Dads? They were usually the first to know everything. His Mom? Noah didn't think his Mom would keep something big like this from him. **Fuck**. Who was it?_

"Why do you think I'm mad? I haven't said **shit**. We came home, watched a movie, we ate, then we put Ash to bed." he shrugged if off. _Uh, yeah I'm pissed. Why the **fuck** wouldn't I be is a better question! You had to have told someone you were pregnant. There's no way in hell you could keep that **shit** to yourself. I'm pretty sure it's physically impossible for you to keep a secret._

"I can feel your muscles keep tensing up every time I talk. Your mouth keeps saying you're not mad, but your body is saying something quite different." her voice started to waver just a little. She didn't understand how he could still be angry after she had apologized profusely. She had also admitted that she was wrong to not tell him the moment she thought they might be having another baby. _Please don't be mad at me! I need your support now more than ever. I can't do this alone, literally or figuratively. **Damn it!** You said no secrets!_

Noah sat up and turned her face towards his. He could just make out her features in the darkness. "So who did you tell you were pregnant? I've been waiting for your answer all day. That's what I'm pissed about, Rach. " It came out a little louder than he had expected._ Shit_. He couldn't take it back now!

When her tears started flowing he knew that he wasn't going to be happy with what he was about to hear. How many people had she fucking told? Was he really so clueless he just totally missed the signs that she was pregnant again? _Shit_.

Rachel tried to reply but a hiccoughing sound kept spluttering out. _This is not going well! He is going to be furious when he finds out who I told._

"Qu-qu-Quinn. I-I-I told Quinn before she left to go back to school." she finally got out. "But Finn was there, too. Since my Dads were there to send Quinn off to her senior year he congratulated them on the new grandchild."

Noah rolled is eyes. He was almost afraid of how this was going to snowball. _Shit_. _If the entire Gleek squad knew about this baby before him, he was seriously going nuclear._

"Go on. I'm just trying to figure out fucking pissed I'm going to be." he clenched his jaw as he waited for the rest of the story.

"Then my Dads immediately called your Mom to set up a family dinner to celebrate so she and Hannah know." she whispered. "It all happened in a span of about five minutes, Noah. It just got out of control so quickly and I couldn't stop it! I begged them to keep it a secret until I told you and had been to the doctor."

Noah got out of bed, throwing the covers off him. He walked to the closet and pulled out a sleeping bag and another blanket. He turned around to look directly at his wife.

"I'm so fucking pissed right now my head hurts, Rach. I'm going to stay up for a while longer to watch a movie where shit blows up. That might help me feel better." he paused for a moment before finishing. "I love you, babe."

**Please take a moment to review/comment. It's what feeds writers!**


	7. Chapter 7

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck has a potty mouth on principle & Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football hoodie I got on eBay. I also named Puckerberry's son so cleanslate and I have joint custody of him.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a great Beta Babe!

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

_**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
**_

"Noah! P-P-Please don't go! Please talk to me!" Rachel's sad voice carried down the hallway. Her husband didn't return to their bedroom despite her pleas. She waffled about the situation for a while; whether this was something she should confront him with to finally finish or let him be angry for tonight. She chose to roll over in the hope that she could get some rest, if only for her babies' well-being. Noah was rightly furious at her and she hoped he could see her side by the time morning came. She also hoped she hadn't broken her marriage too badly. She knew when she realized she was pregnant he should have been told. She knew it and her fear of another miscarriage, no matter how slim, had terrified her into silence. When she had told Quinn her friend had asked her how he felt and was shocked when it was obvious he didn't know. Quinn had begged her to tell Noah but she thought she could put it off, just a little bit longer. Rachel knew she had screwed up so she was paying for it now.

Noah could hear Rachel start to sniff as he walked downstairs to the living room. After chucking the blanket and sleeping bag on the couch he stood in front of their DVD collection. He needed to select the movie with the best combination of explosions and senseless violence to help him get rid of his anger.

_Evil Dead or Doomsday? Chainsaws and excessive blood or hot scantily clad chicks kicking butt in a world gone crazy after an unknown disease?_

He chose Doomsday. It fit the bill nicely - hot chicks, kinda the Mad Max thing going on a shitload of bloody violence. Perfect. He looked around the room for the laptop and its' headphones, he'd rather not wake Ash up. It sucked enough to be on the outs with his wife, he sure didn't want his son pissed at him. Their son had inherited his intelligence from both his parents but definitely gotten his short fuse from his father. Asher had refused to talk to his parents for a span of forty-eight hours when he was two because they had refused to get him a robot exactly like the one he had seen in a movie - a toy that didn't exist.

While the movie started to load, Noah decided he needed something to eat while he enjoyed his movie. He released a loud sigh as he trudged to the kitchen to find himself a snack. He glanced at the shelves of their pantry in the hope that something struck his fancy, the bad taste in his mouth needed to be taken care of. Extra points if it could crunch loudly enough to drown out the guilt inducing sniffling down the hall.

_Cheese puffs it is!_

A handful were jammed into his mouth he turned his attention to the refrigerator and the fifth of Jack he had put in the freezer.

_Extra points if it could make him forget the last hour of his life permanently. Excellent. It was still there._

After grabbing a cup from the nearby drainer he poured himself a heaping helping and gulped it back several times. A warm buzz started to take over his brain, slowing it down to a crawl.

_How fucking stupid could I be? Everyone fucking knew Rachel was pregnant but me. I know her body better than anyone but why didn't I fucking see she was beginning to show? Damn it! I deserve this shit, don't I? I'm just a fucking Lima loser. They were right. The fuckers! I'm still that little shit - totally clueless even five years later. Fuck. No wonder she didn't want to tell me she thought she might be pregnant again. She probably thought I'd totally freak and skate this time. Just like my Dad. Fuck._

Noah walked back to the living room with his supplies to enjoy his movie. He hoped the alcohol would stop the fucking annoying thinking that was going on in his brain. He wasn't sure if it was because it was starting to hurt or because he was feeling overwhelmed at what the next year would bring. When they first had Asher they had some vague idea of what it would be like raising a baby. Sort of. They found out quickly that they didn't really have a clue and that it was very complicated to be a parent. By the time Rachel and Noah had felt confident about parenting their lives had taken a huge u-turn with their car accident_. _

_Nothing like the universe kicking your ass just when you think you've got it right! He so fucking didn't want this to be one of those times. _

Noah's glassy eyes stared at the movie until he realized that he was watching the end credits. He also realized several other important things - he was seriously tired and he seriously needed to take a piss. He shut down the laptop, the lights then shuffled upstairs to take care of the other business. After making the necessary pit stop he stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed next to his wife. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her and placed one hand on her middle and the other cupped her breast. Rachel stirred slightly as she turned her head to gently kiss his temple. She turned back around, pushed herself into his warmth, then moved her hands to lace her fingers in his.

"I messed up, Noah. I know I did, but can you at least try to understand why I waited? I was terrified it would happen again. I don't think I could handle something like that a second time."

Rachel waited for his response in the darkness. She hoped he would understand.

"I'm not a fuck up, Rach. I'm fuckin' not." he whispered into her hair. "Every time I said that I wasn't going to be a deadbeat like my Dad I fuckin' meant it. I didn't skate when we found out about Ash and I'm not fuckin' going anywhere now. I'm not a fuck up."

"I know you're not, Noah." she said quietly. She squeezed the hand that he had placed on her belly. "We wouldn't have these two blessings if that were the case."

"I'm scared shitless, Rach! Why the fuck am I so scared if I love you and Ash? I don't fuckin' get it."

She could feel how terrified he was. It started to make her more than a little nervous that he kept hugging her closer in an attempt to stop the shaking and the fact that he smelled like alcohol didn't help much. She turned back around to face him while she tried to reassure him, putting both their hands on her midsection.

"We're going to make it, Noah. I know that together we can do this as much as I know that I love you. We both know it's going to be hard but I think we can do this. Don't you?" she paused to wait for his response.

Noah pulled her closely into a hug. "I love you, Rach. You always know what to say to stop the hamster in my head from blowing up."

Rachel laughed at her husband's ability to joke and break the tension. Yet another reason to love him! She squeezed him back a few times. She was definitely feeling many times more optimistic than she was earlier in the evening. When she exhaled loudly she realized she should gently remind him that it was the middle of the night and that they had busy day tomorrow.

"Noah? I really hate to interrupt, but we do need to get some sleep. We have about three hours until we have to get up." she groaned at the thought. This pregnancy was really draining her and she had a hunch that it wasn't going to get easier as it progressed.

"Okay, babe. I'm just gonna brush my teeth and hit the john again. I've got a godawful taste in my mouth. That's the last time I mix cheese puffs and Jack. Ugh." he screwed up his face as he covered his mouth with his hand.

Rachel lay back down to wait for her husband to climb back in next to her. She closed her eyes, pulled the blankets up and snuggled in. Noah quickly returned to the warm bed and resumed his position next to her.

"We need to have a Gleek family meeting to let them know about, well, y'know, shit and stuff. They'll be pissed as hell if we don't tell them about.." he paused.

"I know." she wondered when he would bring that up. "Let's wait until after the appointment on Friday. We'll know more by then, okay?"

"Okay, babe" he kissed her cheek.

"I love you, Noah."

"I love you, Rach."

* * *

The next three hours passed far too quickly for Rachel and Noah's liking. Their noisy alarm went off and they dragged themselves out of bed to get ready for their busy day. Rachel went to wake Asher up while Noah jumped in the shower. He really hoped by the time he was finished and had walked downstairs that there would be a hot breakfast ready. He was not feelin' cold cereal after his bad beverage choice from the night before. He gargled some of the hot shower water then spit. Eggs and toast with a hot mug of coffee sounded like heaven. The smell that greeted him as he entered the kitchen just about knocked him off his feet.

Asher had a mouthful of scrambled eggs when he greeted his father. Noah was showered with yellow blobs and a big smile from his son. "Hiya, Da! Mama made an awesome breakfast!" he shoveled more in his mouth.

"Whoa! Slow down there, killer! You need to chew that stuff before you swallow it. Got it, Ash? Chew it." Noah emphasized the last two words as he sat down.

After a quick kiss, Rachel set a full plate in front of him. If his son wasn't there, Noah was pretty sure he would have done something very adult to her on that very table - after he totally licked his plate clean. He grabbed her hand to pull her down onto his lap. She put her arm around his waist, squeezing him a few times.

"I'd better get ready for school, Noah. I'm glad I ironed my outfit last night and hung it up! It'll save me loads of time this morning." she winked at him then gave him a peck on the cheek.

The rest of the morning was a blur with all the school day chaos. Asher was dressed, packed his own lunch and then walked to the bus stop with his parents trying to keep up. Rachel and Noah waved at him until the bus was out of sight.

"I'm so proud of him, Noah! He has such a big heart, he's smart, and there is never a dull moment when he's around." she rolled her eyes at the last bit.

"So, back to one of our unfinished discussions, Rach. Why, exactly, does he need all that extra shit at school? What was that thingy that Ms. Flynn was talking about. That paper that you needed to sign?" he wasn't trying to start a fight but his voice was on edge.

Rachel tried to think of the best way to explain things. She knew their son needed some help, why didn't he see it? Considering he had to start all over from scratch when he was just a toddler, he was doing remarkably. Noah needed to see that!

"The paperwork she was talking about was Asher's I.E.P. It's an acronym for individualized educational program. In other words, it's his progress and his goals for the school year. It talks about his strengths and weaknesses and how he can work for his goals. It's actually pretty helpful. Don't you remember all his preschool meetings?" she squeezed his hand a little as she spoke.

"I thought they were just really intense parent teacher conferences. I had no idea other parents didn't get all that info. I just thought Ash had some really detail fixated teachers! Like I know shit about any of this."

He was so embarrassed he couldn't look at her. He knew he was clueless about plenty, but his son shouldn't be one of those things. _Shit._

"Noah, quit mentally kicking yourself over this. We're still big noobs when it comes to parenting." she laughed.

He cracked a grin when he heard her say "noob". He had used it often when talking about gaming, but it sounded hilarious when she said it. "You do know it sounds like 'boob', right?" he snorted. "You just can't pull those kinds of words off, Rach! I'm just gonna laugh about that for a bit, 'kay?"

She punched him in the arm. "So when I say things that you would I sound humorous? So if I were to proposition you the way you proposition me by whispering something in your ear you'd be laughing too **hard** to take me in a manly fashion?" she emphasized the word "hard" to make her point.

Noah stared at her with her hands on her hips for a moment before he scooped her up, threw her over his shoulder and ran the rest of the way back to their apartment. He answered her question twice in the next half hour, once rather loudly. He most definitely did not laugh but he did agree that the yoga classes she had been taking were quite helpful_. _

"Thank you for answering my question, Noah." she said as they both got dressed for the second time that day. "I knew you'd see the error of your ways."

"Pffft! You still sound like a tool when you use slang, babe. You're also pretty shittacular at swearing. But with that bangin' body I get sidetracked easily. I blame you." he kissed her on the top of the head.

Rachel's face turned crimson. "You've seen me in labor, nursing, sick as a dog, and bent over a toilet with morning sickness but you still say that. I don't know why you still think I'm…"

He quickly interrupted, putting his arms around her to pull her close, "Hot. Totally hot. Even when you yell at me for not putting my clothes in the laundry basket or leaving the toilet seat up. I do have to say that right now with that little baby bump you got goin' and the rack of doom I am especially attracted to you. I think your big brain just adds to that."

Rachel put her head to her husband's chest for a few moments before stepping back. "We really need to get to work, Noah. I'd hate to be late the first week of school especially after my embarrassing fainting yesterday." she cringed a little. "Not that I wouldn't want to spend the rest of the day listening to my very handsome mechanic of a husband keep complimenting me but…"

"I know, I know. We're still meeting for lunch, right?"

"Yup. We have lunch at noon so just come down to the music room and then we'll head to the cafeteria."

When they got in their car Rachel looked at the back seat sighing loudly. "We're going to have a get a new car, aren't we? There is no way we can get two rear-facing car seats and Asher's booster in that backseat. Ugh!"

Noah had a look of panic on his face when he realized that she was right. "Fuck. I so don't want to take out another car loan, Rach. We just got both of ours paid off!" he leaned his head forward accidentally honking the horn.

Rachel played with his hair, "We're going to be fine, I promise. Maybe Mr. Hummel can find us a good car at a decent price? I'm sure he'd be happy to help."

A few minutes later, Noah dropped Rachel off at school then quickly headed for the Hummel's garage. He was thankful he had a shitload of things to do. He had enjoyed one too many emotional enemas in the last twenty-four hours and was ready to not think about anything serious for a few hours. Of course working for Burt Hummel was never boring since Kurt had taken over the marketing aspect of the garage. He knew exactly how to make the newspaper ads look, the radio ads sound and how the waiting room should look for the customers. Kurt knew that people getting their cars restored had money they wanted to spend and he wanted them to spend it at their garage. Noah was the first to admit that Kurt knew exactly what to say and how to those moneybags, and he thanked him every day for it. He loved it job and the fact that he was paid very well just made him like it even more.

"Hey, Hummel. What's the plan for today? Are we still working on the Roadster or is it the Caddy?"

Kurt rolled his eyes at Noah as he handed him the schedule for the day. They were booked solid! Cha-ching!

On the other side of town Rachel was setting up her lesson plan for the day, thankful she had a full box of saltine crackers in her desk as well as a pitcher of ginger tea in the teachers' lounge. She looked at the wall clock to try figure out how much time she had before the first class arrived.; soon after she heard the voices of the third graders she was expecting.

They all greeted her in unison, "Hello, Mrs. Puckerman!" It was their first music class of the year so they were very excited about what new instruments they would learn how to play. Last year it had been recorders, maybe they would get to use xylophones or keyboards this year.

Rachel greeted them brightly ,"Hello, everyone! Please have a seat in the chairs and we'll get started."

The class listened politely while she set out the xylophones and mallets. She explained that they would get some free play with it today but next week they would start learning how to play songs.

Thankfully, the next several classes went very quickly and it was time for Rachel and Noah to meet up for lunch. Yawning, Rachel laid her head down on her desk while she waited for her husband to get there. She almost leapt out of her chair when she felt a warm hand stroking her back.

"Whoa, babe! It's just me!" Noah extended his arms out then knelt down next to her chair, placing his hands on her thigh. "I really didn't mean to scare you. I just saw you sleeping there and you looked obnoxiously adorable."

A quick kiss and they were off to the cafeteria to enjoy pizza day.

**_Please take a moment to comment/review. It's what feeds writers! I do respond to every person who clicks the magic button. (I'm also taking baby name suggestions since it will take me forever to decide.) _**


	8. Chapter 8

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a great Beta Babe! This is my first Glee fanfic and I'd appreciate any concrit you have to give.

A/N 2: This chapter took **forever** due to Real Life presenting me with two sick kids and Spring Break. DOUBLE WHAMMY! Thank you for your patience.

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

_**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
**_

The rest of the week seemed to fly by and go obnoxiously slow as possible at the same time. Thursday night finally crept up on them and it was dinner time at the little family's apartment. Rachel had been so focused on remembering her doctor's appointment that she forgot just about everything else over the last few days; she hated being so scatterbrained. She knew the fact that she was overloaded with estrogen was the scientific reason for it but she still hated it. She was the one who kept lists, who sent gifts early, who was never late to appointments and remembered everything. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case anymore and it was making her roll her eyes yet again.

"Ugh. I can't believe I put my mug of tea up on the roof of the car and drove off, Noah! I really hate feeling stupid." she said over dinner. "I was mortified when Ms. Flynn told me it was still on the roof. She has got to think that I'm such an idiot!" Rachel put her face in her hands, blushing.

"It's okay, babe. Just look on the bright side, you are obviously a very careful driver. I'm also very impressed with the suction on that cup. I won't doubt you again when you say how important that is in your selection." he grinned as she playfully hit his arm.

"Oh! Before I forget to tell you this, Noah. I emailed the rest of the Gleeks and told them we'd like to have a family meeting on Sunday. I figured brunch would be the best, just in case anyone had to get back before dinner. I also let them know the ones who are out of state that we'd also have our webcam on so they could join in." Rachel stuck her tongue out when he rolled his eyes.

"We haven't had a big Gleek get together since Ms. Pillsbury and Mr. Schue got hitched. Are you sure you're up to that?"

The previous summer the guidance councilor and the Spanish teacher had been married at a small informal ceremony, just after most of their former students had turned twenty-one. Finn was still banned from a few bars in town as well as Santana; their exploits were still quite legendary at WMHS. Rachel flinched when she remembered having to help drag the Cheerio into her car to avoid a full out ass kicking with some of the guys from the hockey team. Noah had put some money on the girl so he was still pissed he missed out on some major bank.

"You're right, Noah. I had evidently blocked that experience out of my memory. The thought of Finn and Santana trying to take on Karofsky's goons still makes me shudder! I still think you're the one who put them up to it." Rachel narrowed her eyes at her guilty-looking husband.

"Mama is the baby making you stupid?" Asher suddenly blurted out.

Both of his surprised parents whipped their heads around to look at their son with a look of complete shock. They also were trying unsuccessfully to stop from laughing so it took more than a moment before his mother could reply. Rachel wondered why her son would ask such a question since they had only told him the night before about the baby.

Rachel giggled while she spoke. "No, Bug. The baby isn't making me stupid. It is making me very forgetful, though." She tousled his hair as he continued to talk.

"Okay, Mama. I heard Ms. Flynn talking and she said that. She said that yesterday when I forgot to put my lunch in my backpack. I will tell her tomorrow that you're not. Why did she say that?" he finally took a breath.

Noah's eyebrow shot up and his Puck face was going full force. He banged his fists on the table, his plate sent flying. Rachel shot her husband a glaring look hoping he could take the hint and stop. Unfortunately, he was on a roll and launched into his rant.

"What the fuck is wrong with people, Rach? I am gonna go apeshit on that old biddy! Why do they keep waiting for us to royally screw up our kid? Seriously?" he bellowed. "We are damn good parents, we work hard and he has everything a kid could ever want! Why do people think that because he was born it made us teenage parents that we're fuckwits?"

Asher's eyes flew open and his bottom lip started to quiver when his father gestured toward him. He soon broke into tears, pushed his chair away from the table and ran upstairs to his room. A door slamming would soon resound through the apartment.

"Damn it, Puck!" she growled through her clenched jaw. "Now we need to go upstairs and console our son. He's going to think that we're mad at him for telling us the truth!"

Noah flinched when she smacked his shoulder. He knew she was pissed the second she called him 'Puck'.

**_Damn it!_**

She hated that nickname so much that she only called him that when she thought he was being an asshole. Rachel had always made a big distinction between Noah, the man she loved, and Puck, the overconfident jerk who had too much swagger for her taste. She definitely knew how to take him down a peg when his Puck side reared its' ugly head, this being one of them.

"I am so not amused, Noah." she extended her arm to point to the floor above them. "Upstairs! Now! And so help me if I hear you mumbling or rolling your eyes I will personally burn your entire 'hidden' stash of porn in front of you."

Noah gasped. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuu.." he almost finished the word but was interrupted by a glare that he was pretty sure made his balls crawl into his body cavity. He unconsciously adjusted himself as he stood, trying to avoid the eyes that were burning a hole through him.

Rachel exhaled loudly as she placed a kiss to Noah's forehead. She quietly laced her fingers with his and dragged him up their stairs to try to help console their little boy. It was awful seeing someone she loved upset but seeing Asher this distraught definitely broke her heart. He was a lot like her with his sensitivity but definitely had a lot of Puck in him, sometimes too much.

They knocked on his door but he refused to open it; he yelled at them from inside his room.

"No! I'm going to get in trouble! I'm going to get grounded or get my video games taken away from me!" he sobbed. "I don't want to be in trouble!"

Rachel glared at Noah while he fidgeted with the buttons on her shirt. He was terrible with guilt and she wasn't making it easy for him either. He also knew he sucked at talking out his feelings but he needed to take care of his son. He groaned loudly.

"Go in there, Noah. Be the good father you want to be. Be the father Asher needs you to be." she pushed him towards the door.

He exhaled as he tried to conjure his most soothing voice. Well, we was trying to. "Ash. You need to open the door, little dude. I promise that you're not in trouble. I was wrong to yell so loudly and use the cuss words."

Noah rested his head on the door while he kept knocking. He could hear his son on the other side sniffling, choking back sobs and throwing things. He looked back to his wife who kept shooing him to finish his task. Of course, this just made him get overly dramatic, pretending that he was dying in slow motion. As he lay on the floor he thought to himself that it was about time to borrow that carpet cleaner from his mom. _Really soon_.

A suddenly tired Rachel followed his lead. She slid down the wall then settled herself on the carpeted floor; her arms rested on her bump, gently stroking it, and hoped that the insanely big headache she felt in the back of her skull would dissipate. She wasn't sure why there seemed to be a vortex of drama around them but it was certainly wearing her patience out.

Noah stuck his tongue out at her and motioned for her put her head on his shoulder to get comfortable. She rolled her eyes at him but settled into the warmth of his chest. Annoyed or not, she was tired enough to fall asleep right then and there. He started to hear her breathing slow down so he nudged her back awake.

"Why'd you do that, Noah? I was almost asleep!" she mumbled.

"Because we need to take care of Ash, as you so nicely pointed out just a few minutes ago. We gotta get this shit taken care of, now. I'd much rather help him with homework, put him in bed and then settle in with you. If you must know." he winked at her.

Rachel stood up quickly and knocked on Asher's door. She hoped they could persuade him to unlock his door quickly.

"Please, Asher. Open your door for Mama and Da. You're not in trouble." she pleaded.

The small boy timidly opened the door to look up into his mother's eyes. His splotchy face in addition to his red eyes broke was heartbreaking. He quickly hurdled himself into his mother's body and held on for dear life.

* * *

It was finally time for her doctor's appointment so Rachel was feeling incredibly nervous, the fact that she had avoided Ms. Flynn all day hadn't helped. She paced in her classroom as she waited for Noah to arrive. She was trying to keep herself busy but was doing a pretty bad job of it, she knew that. Thankfully, her day had gone by quickly with very few issues except for morning sickness deciding that it should rear its' ugly head after lunch. All she needed now was to get her appointment over with and get home to spend some time with her boys.

Noah ran into his wife's classroom, "Let's get going, Rach.! Ash is at your Dads' house. Let's go! We gotta get you to your doctor's appointment!"

She grabbed her things then laced her fingers with her husband's. "Okay, babe. We're outta here."

After a short ride across town they arrived at the hospital. They checked in on the first floor then rode the elevator up to the Ob/Gyn wing and sat down in the waiting room. Rachel looked through magazines while her husband watched the fish in the tank behind them. For some reason, time seemed to pass incredibly slowly until Rachel was called back.

"Rachel Puckerman? This way please. We'll get you weighed, then if you could put a urine sample in this cup." the nurse got down to brass tacks.

Rachel blanked for a second. "Okay, um, where should I put the cup after?"

"There is a small door on the right side of the restroom. Open it and place the sample on the shelf. Then you can meet with the doctor. Okay?" she had obviously been here for a while.

Rachel nodded then walked toward the restroom with her cup. It had been a few years since she had to do this so it was completely natural to be terrified, she told herself. She opened the door as she exhaled loudly.

_She could do this. She was taking care of her *gulp* babies and she could do this. This was the easy part, right? She could definitely do this._

"I'll hang out here while you're, um, y'know. Okay, Rach? I'm sure you can handle that on your own." Noah screwed up his face while he spoke.

He could deal with lots of things associated with his wife's pregnancy but the office visits definitely grossed him out. He wasn't sure why…but, ew. It was probably because he had seen her in a coma, helpless for days and that's how his brain went when he thought of doctors.

_Okay, maybe I'm just being a wuss about being a father again. That's certainly fucked up. Ash is an awesome kid because of the shit we've done for him. He's had to deal with so much fucked up stuff because of the accident and he has rocked it! I don't think I could have._

Rachel interrupted his thoughts when she grabbed his hand. They walked back to the exam room with the nurse to wait for the doctor. Noah's eyes lit up when he found an auto magazine among all the parenting choices. He glanced at a few articles before there was a knock at the door.

"Mr. and Mrs. Puckerman?" she reached out her hand to shake both of theirs. She smiled broadly at the young couple quite honest in her happiness to see them.

"Hello, Dr. Connor. This is my husband, Noah." Rachel gestured toward her husband.

Noah took the doctor's hand and shook it firmly. "Yeah, just call me Noah. Mr. Puckerman is my dad."

"Okay, Noah then." the doctor conceded. "So we've got your updated weight, you've gained five pounds. That's a good start, Rachel. We have your urine sample so we'll check for diabetes and any other proteins. How about you get up on the table and we can get some measurements?"

Noah squeezed Rachel's hand to try to reassure her. She smiled and squeezed back.

Dr. Connor unrolled her measuring tape to see how much growth had occurred since Rachel's visit the previous week. She smiled at the young woman when she saw the numbers. After the woman scribbled her findings in her file she continued speaking.

"Excellent. You've added another inch since I've seen you." she grinned. " I'm so glad you're gaining some weight, especially since you've had some morning sickness. The goal is to gain twenty pounds in the first trimester, which you have. Fantastic! Also remember you need to be eating about 4000 calories a day and we'd like to see you gain a minimum forty pounds by the time you're full-term. "

Rachel's eyes bulged. "Really? That many calories a day? And a minimum of forty pounds? Oh my." she looked to Noah who was as shocked as she was. "I'm not sure how I can get so many calories into three meals a day. That many, really?"

"Yup. Since you need to essentially support two developing people, research says 4000 calories. We have plenty of literature to help suggest menus and snacks to get the calories you need in a day. ' After a short pause the doctor continued, "I can understand that it can be quite daunting but we can all agree that it will be worth the effort, right?"

Rachel sheepishly nodded her head in confirmation. "Definitely worth the effort. I'll do whatever it takes to take care of these two little blessings, doctor. Whatever it takes."

"You got it, babe. Whatever it takes. If I have to learn how to start cooking, I'll do it." Noah gently rubbed her exposed belly and planted a kiss on her lips. He said he was there for the long haul so if taking on the kitchen was what he had to do… Shit. He was so screwed. He'd have to call his mom to beg for her help. Shit. She was never going to let him forget. Shit.

Rachel was so touched by this she choked back tears. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth at his display of dedication. Noah just rolled his eyes at her. She always seemed to pick the oddest times to get weepy, this was definitely one of those times.

The doctor quickly interrupted the silence with an attempt to help the young couple.

"We do offer a free cooking class at the hospital for parents of multiples. It's just the sort of thing I'd suggest so you don't have any more fainting issues like the other day. Would you like me to sign you up?" her eyes waited for a response. She really did want to help them succeed at their goal of delivering two healthy babies with as little intervention as possible.

Rachel quickly responded after getting a confirmation nod from Noah. "Yes, please! We'd love to. When does it meet? We do have a little boy we'd need to take care of."

"It meets Saturday night at six o' clock in the cafeteria. What's nice is that every week you make a meal to eat so dinner is taken care of!" Dr. Conner was obviously very pleased that they had agreed to attend. "I'll make sure you get their brochure before you leave."

"Um. I apologize for being so forward doctor, but are we able to do the sonogram and hear the heartbeats today? I still have to go to the bathroom…" Rachel fidgeted on the examination table.

Her husband found the last comment quite amusing, much to her chagrin. After a punch to the arm, they both waited for the doctor to reply.

The doctor quickly got back to the task at hand. "Oh! I apologize for getting sidetracked! Let's get that sonogram going. I'll get my gel and we can take a look, alright?"

Rachel smiled up at Noah as she waited for the doctor to begin. He was obviously nervous as he rubbed the back of his neck with a lopsided grin on his face.

It's okay, Noah. You don't need to be so nervous! I'm the one who gets nervous enough for the both of us.

Dr. Connor started to talk them through the procedure, first warning Rachel before she carefully squirted the gel on the young woman's abdomen.

"Okay, Rachel. This is going to be a little bit chilly so get ready. We'll see how much they've grown since your last visit and be able to give a better idea of when you can expect their debut."

A few seconds later Rachel and Puck were completely slack jawed as they stared at the sonogram monitor. The doctor explained what the grey and black outlines meant, where the babies' hearts were and their estimated due date - March.

"Shit! Look at that, Rach. Two.." he drew an outline on the screen with his index finger. "Sorry Dr. Connor. I have a 'limited vocabulary when it comes to exclamations', or so I'm told." Noah grinned.

The doctor laughed, "Trust me, Noah. I've heard much worse down in the cafeteria for the last several decades. It's really okay."

"Any chance we can find out the gender today?" Rachel asked.

Dr. Connor shook her head. "Not quiet yet. At about sixteen weeks and we'll be able to tell you if you'll be having two boys, two girls or one of each. You said you had a little boy at home? May I ask how old?"

"He's five and just started kindergarten! Asher is so excited about a new baby brother or sister." Rachel was definitely proud of her son. He was smart, curious and could definitely wrap her around his little finger.

"We haven't told him that there's two. Yet." Noah continued. "Since Rachel had a miscarriage the last time she was pregnant, we're gonna keep this under our hats for a while. We figure we'll wait a few months and then let him know it's twins."

"I can definitely understand your hesitance but I'm very glad he does know you're expecting again. You'll have to let him know he needs to be extra gentle with you, Rachel and please emphasize that he's also taking care of his sibling. For some reason, that tends to help kids deal with the changes more quickly."

Rachel was so enthralled with the sight before her she hadn't heard the conversation between her husband and the doctor. Noah poked her shoulder a few times while he waited for her to return to the present.

"I apologize!" she giggled " Dr. Connor, could you please print a few of these out for our family, please? I'd love to give my Dads and Noah's mother a copy."

"I'd be happy to print a few out. So let's go over everything from our visit today, okay? You need to sign up for the cooking classes, focus on getting 4000 calories a day, lots of rest, call me if there are any other fainting issues, and please make an appointment for a stress test next week. Whew! Also, I'll see you back here in another week to check your progress." the doctor exhaled loudly.

Noah and Rachel thanked the doctor , collected the information at the front desk, then made the necessary appointments for the following week. They hadn't done much after they had gotten out of work but both of them were completely tired out.

"After we go get Asher, I think I'm going to get to bed. I hope you don't mind." Rachel yawned loudly.

"No prob, babe. I'll make sure he takes a bath and gets tucked in bed, then I'll come and tuck you in."

"Noah! "

"I'll take that as a maybe, then. I love you, Rach."

"I love you, Noah. Despite the fact that you are incorrigible."

* * *

**_A/N: Please take a moment to comment/review. I do appreciate the time it takes._**


	9. Chapter 9

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a great Beta Babe! This is my first Glee fanfic and I'd appreciate any concrit you have to give. A big shout out to GoingVintage and knkykty for listening to my ranting and pushing me to make this better.

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

_**__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
**_

Saturday was Noah's favorite day of the week because it was his day off. Sunday he went in early so he could be home by noon but Saturday he was scot free. He could sleep in as late as he wanted and Rachel would always have a big breakfast waiting for him when he got up. She would make pancakes or biscuits and gravy or waffles with fruit or scrambled eggs with every kind of whistle and bell imaginable. Every Friday night after dinner she would begin her research on what they should have for breakfast. Usually Asher would pick a theme and she would run with it. This week the theme was green eggs and ham since his son had the book read to him at school. Unfortunately Rachel's morning sickness was back with a vengeance so Puck woke up to the sound of his wife puking her guts out instead of the smell of food. This was not a good sign, at all.

Noah walked in quietly behind her as she was ending a particularly bad wave of nausea. He grabbed a hair tie to quickly get her hair out of the way before another one hit. After a quick peck to her forehead he sat on the tiled floor beside her. Rachel turned her head towards Noah to glare at him.

"Sorry my spawn is kicking your ass this morning, babe." he grinned. "What can I do to make it up to you? Ginger ale, dry toast or just some ice cubes in a cup sound like something you'd like?"

A pout started to form on Rachel's face accompanied by a very sad pair of deep chocolate eyes. She was miserable trying to deal with feeling so badly on her favorite day of the week. She got to sleep in until 8:00 which was like **_heaven_**. Most days she had already finished her exercises, taken a shower and planned meals for the week by then so those extra 120 minutes were far too enjoyable. Rachel also loved making breakfast for her guys, the shopping, the planning, the whole shebang. Today she was hunched over the toilet throwing up like it was an Olympic sport, this was not a good sign at all.

"I just wanted to make you and Ash a special breakfast today." she whimpered. "I've been here for the last hour just feeling miserable after one sniff of the eggs. He's been looking forward to this for days, Noah. Days! What am I doing to do if the next six months are like this?"

Noah pulled Rachel back to lay on his chest while he wrapped his arms around her. He was so used her being confident, in charge and dominating that when she seemed so helpless it drove him nuts. He rubbed her shoulders, down her back and then her hands hoping it would help calm her down enough for her to focus. They sat there silently on the cool tiles until Noah finally spoke.

"Is that a little better, Rach? You really freak the shit out of me when you actually need me, you know that? Jeez. I'm so used to Rachel Berry Warrior Princess not Kicked Puppy Berry, y'know. Tell me what I can do to get my kickass wife back." he smirked.

Rachel looked up at him with such a sad look on her face he couldn't help but kiss her. She smiled and settled back into his chest to enjoy the silence again as she listened to his heartbeat. It wasn't often enough they got time together like this even though they were sitting on the bathroom floor after a particularly bad bout of morning sickness. She'd take it. In the last five years of being a parent the one constant seemed to be 'Take advantage of every possibility to make a moment a memorable moment'. Rachel took Noah's hands, linked them with hers then placed them on her growing belly.

"I love you , Noah. You're part of the reason I'm so '**_kickass_**' as you put it. I know I have your support so it boosts my confidence, okay? I'm definitely scared silly right now over the thought of having three kids, being pregnant with twins and definitely the delivery. To be honest, I don't know what scares me most between those three." she sighed.

"I'm kinda thinking the delivery, babe. I'm pretty sure we can wing some of that, but I think I'm scared shitless of the delivery and I'm just gonna be the one with the broken hand!" he flinched while he rubbed his knuckles.

Rachel rolled her eyes and laid back into her husband's warmth as she groaned. She couldn't help but remember how long she was in labor with Asher, the pain involved and wonder if having twins would be twice as bad. A trip to the library for some research was in order as soon as she got some time, then perhaps a visit with her obstetrician to ask questions would help allay her fears.

Noah gently turned her chin so he could see into her eyes.

"I know we can do this. If we made it through all the shit we've been dealt in the last five years, we can definitely take on double trouble. Got it?"

Rachel nodded against his hand. "I got it, Noah. As long as you're in my corner I know I can get through this."

A big grin crept across his face as he spoke, "You gotta know I am, babe. If I haven't gone batshit crazy yet, I'm pretty sure I won't anytime soon. Although…" he paused to rub her belly, "you should probably ignore my ranting the first few months these punks are home, okay?"

With another over dramatic groan she balled her fists then hit his chest repeatedly, laughing the entire time. It had been a very long week for them but after his reassurances she was definitely feeling better. With all that was going to be on her plate in the next six months, she needed as much as she could get.

Rachel glanced at her watch and realized that they needed to check on Asher to see if he was awake yet, he wouldn't know where they were and might panic. Ever since the car accident he had needed to have a trusted adult within his sight or he would start to shut down. The transition from preschool to kindergarten had taken weeks of play therapy, visits to the new classroom and long talks with both his parents. Both Rachel and Noah were very excited to see him thriving so they did everything in their power to not take steps backwards with him. A few seconds later she got her answer when she heard her son's bare feet pad into the bathroom.

"Mama? What are you and Da doing sitting on the floor?" Asher curled his lip as he cocked his head to the side. He knew his parents were goofy but sometimes he just didn't understand them. His Mama always told him that he shouldn't sit on the bathroom floor because it was so close to the potty and potties were always dirty no matter how hard she tried to clean them. Grownups were definitely strange.

"We were just talking about the new baby, Bug. Mama is a little scared about some things so she was talking to Da about it."

Rachel didn't want Asher to feel left out of the family discussions or feel that he wouldn't be as important since he wouldn't be an only child for too much longer. She knew they'd have to tell him that there were two babies soon and she didn't look forward to it. Now she added sibling jealousy to her list of pregnancy apprehensions, the list was getting a little bit long for her liking.

Asher sat down on his Mama's lap to snuggle in closely as he smelled her calming scent and enjoyed her softness.

"Grownups are weird." he mumbled into her shirt.

His parents laughed partially because they knew he was right and partially because they still thought of themselves as kids on some level. They knew that if they hadn't had their son their lives would be drastically different and they'd be at a college or university partying, avoiding classes or something like that. Their lives weren't what they had expected when they were younger but they were happy, so that was good.

Rachel and Noah were still friends with most of their Glee group, for that reason they had invited them over to announce the pregnancy the following day. Some were going to be there by webcam due do their busy schedules but the rest were going to be at the Berry's kitchen table to get the news. Neither of the couple was sure they were ready but since Rachel would be showing much sooner than with Asher they thought it was a good idea to make a preemptive strike and announce it. What they didn't know was that their friends would have some revelations of their own.

* * *

Neither Rachel nor Noah slept well that night because of the excessive thoughts running through their heads. The overwhelming focus seemed to be how they were going to incorporate two new people into their family without getting sucked into the undertow of bills. They had worked very hard over the last few years getting to a good place where things were paid off and they could save a good portion of their paychecks. It was frustrating them both that even part of them felt their children would be a burden but it was in the back of their minds, annoying them.

Noah slipped out of bed early so he could get his paperwork done as soon as possible. His goal for the morning was to get back home as quickly as he could to help get things ready for the meetup. For some reason he felt a little extra guilty leaving Rachel and decided not to wake her up to say good bye. Noah was thankful he had very little to do as he walked into the house just as Rachel was starting breakfast.

Sunday morning continued uneventfully with the three of them around the kitchen table talking about the day to come so Asher would know what was in store. They wrote down their schedule with times so their day was planned out with very little surprises. Rachel was a little concerned that the meetup would be too much for their son but she had talked it over with her husband and they had agreed that he needed the interaction. It would also serve as a small distraction for the couple who definitely needed it.

"So here are pictures of the friends that will be at GrandPapa and Pop's house today, Bug." Rachel said as she pointed at a group picture. Asher repeated the names after his mother to commit them to memory as he familiarized himself with their facial features. He already knew Kurt because his Da worked with him. Quinn and Finn were very familiar because they were at his house every summer as well as every school break. His favorite though was Mrs. Shue. She had pretty red hair, a big smile, and always gave him a snuggle when she visited their house. She also like to have things in a special place and that also made him very happy. He didn't like washing his hands very much, but she always gave him an extra big smile when he did. Mama and Da called her "Emma" but he called her Mrs. Shue because that was the polite thing to do.

"Mama? Will Mrs. Schue be there tomorrow?" he wonders out loud.

"I hope so, Bug. When I talked to her yesterday she said she had been sick and wasn't sure. I know Mr. Schue will be there." she could tell he was disappointed but she didn't want him to count on it. "If she doesn't come today we'll go see her this week, okay?"

"Okay, Mama." he said quietly. "Da? Can we go play a video game? I think I need to."

Noah nodded his head in agreement then stood to clear the table of its' contents. He glanced to his wife quickly, who smiled then looked to their son. Asher stood up to do the same and help his father clear the table.

"It's okay, Ash. I'll get it. Just ask to be excused and you can go play."

The sad boy set the plates down as he looked to his parents. "May I be excused, please?"

Noah's heart broke just a little looking at his son with such a sad look on his face; it was very difficult to deny him what he asked for.

"You bet, little dude! I'll be in there in a few minutes, okay? I just need to help Mama with the dishes." After a quick hug Asher ran to the living room to select the game to play with his father. Noah tried to smile a little to humor the boy, but it came off twitchy more than anything. He exhaled loudly as Asher left the room and sat down again.

"Babe, what are we gonna do when he finds out there are two babies? I am absolutely shitting bricks here!" he was having a Puck moment so he ran his palm over the nape of his neck to try to calm himself. He looked to his wife and waited for her sage advice. Unfortunately, she was fresh out today and she was seconds away from crying as he could see by her glistening eyes. Fuck. Noah was definitely not up for this shit so he slammed his fist on the table and walked away. For the second time in a week he walked away from his wife at the precise time he should have stayed.

Asher had selected his favorite car game and, as usual, was trying to beat his father's high score. He paused the game as Noah sat down beside him, a playful nudge followed as he scooted closer.

"I'm gonna beat you, Da. I'm gonna leave you in the dust and you're gonna cry." he smirked.

Oh, shit. He has the Puckerman look down at five! We are so fucked when he gets older. Well, if we haven't gone totally apeshit by that point with three kids.

Noah was brought out of his thoughts by the warm weight of his wife on his lap. She sat sideways on his legs as she buried her head into his chest. Quickly he wrapped his arms around her and settled his hands over belly, exactly where her thoughts were focused. He knew he should have stayed to finish talking to Rachel but his inner Puck got the best of him.

"I apologize, babe." he said in between gentle kisses to her neck. "I shouldn't have blown up like that. Puck rears his ugly head again, I guess."

Rachel laced her hand with Noah's on her belly while she collected her thoughts. She rubbed small circles with their hands trying to think of a way to tell Asher the truth without throwing his world too off kilter. An idea popped into her head and she whispered it to her husband. His eyes got big and he nodded his agreement.

"Asher? Mama and Da want to talk to you about the baby, okay?" Rachel started, "We want you to know that our family is going to get bigger and we love you very much. You know that, right?"

Asher looked from one parent to the other and nodded vigorously. "You tell me every day, Mama. I know."

"Well," Noah continued as he placed his son's hands on Rachel's belly, "We wanted to let you know that there wasn't just one baby inside Mama, there are two. So you'll have two little brothers, or sisters, or one of each."

His parents held their breath as they waited for him to speak.

"Really? _**TWO**_? Mama how did you and Da make two babies?" Asher replied with his eyes wide. He stared at his hands and tried to imagine two babies inside his Mama, his jaw dropped.

Rachel grabbed her son's arms and put him on her lap to snuggle him closely. Noah was pretty sure he hadn't seen her smile like that in a while, so he decided it would be a bad time to tell her his legs were getting crushed and enjoyed the family moment.

* * *

After getting ready for the day they made their way to the Berry household. Her fathers greeted them as they walked through the front door; Asher launched himself at his grandfathers and began chattering away about the babies. A quick side look to their daughter let them know that she had finally told Noah as well as the boy so the subject was no longer under wraps.

Rachel was about to ask what needed to be done when she realized that Mark and Joseph Berry were very prepared for the gathering. They had enough food to feed an army and if the kids still ate as much as they used to, they were.

Both Rachel and Noah's jaw dropped when they saw the immense amount of food that had taken over the men's kitchen. Asher jumped excitedly when he saw the train shaped sandwiches stacked on the counter for him.

"GrandPapa! You remembered to make my best sandwiches! Cashew butter and black currant jelly makes my mouth so happy!" he enthused.

Noah rolled his eyes. "Only your kid, Rach, would know what any of that stuff was. You know that, right?"

He nudged her a few times to make sure she was listening.

A few returned nudges as well as a laughing response let him know he was in trouble. Verbally, at least.

"Our son is merely well rounded when it comes to his palate." was her chosen reply.

"Babe, quit talkin' dirty in front of your Dads like that! You know what big words to do me."

Noah was pretty sure he could hear the hamster in her head explode because of the ideas she had quickly formulated. He was totally gonna break out their Merriam-Webster's and work on his vocabulary as soon as possible.

A deep throated chuckle escaped his throat when he spoke, "Asher had better go right to sleep tonight! Got that Bug?"

Rachel hugged him close and buried her head in his chest. "Noah," she mumbled "quit being incorrigible. It's entirely too sexy for the current time and place."

Mark and Joseph both had to stifle a laugh as they tried to focus on their grandson who had stuffed a third sandwich into his mouth.

"Don't forget to chew, sweetie. We have lots of sandwiches and even more time." Joseph laughed.

Asher smiled a messy grin at the adults before washing down his food with the glass of milk placed before him. He hadn't eaten enough breakfast that morning so his stomach had been growling on the drive to the Berry household. A few chews later he sat back in the chair with a big sigh.

Half an hour later Rachel lay down in the guest bedroom for a short nap before the gleeks arrived. She definitely appreciated her fathers' help with organizing everything for the meetup; for some reason she was running on empty that morning. They had already meticulously cleaned the house, taken care of the menu, as well as set up the webcam for the absent kids. She had only helped finish the food set up but just hearing about all the work they had done had wiped her out, hence, the necessity for her snuggling in under the warm covers.

When familiar voices started to drift into her ears Rachel knew she needed to get up. She clumsily got out of the bed and slipped Noah's football hoodie on for warmth. Rubbing here eyes as she walked she started to feel a nervousness coiling in her stomach, she hoped her friends would be happy for the new additions. She didn't have much time to dwell on it as Noah came around the corner, almost knocking her over.

"Oh, Rach! Shit, you scared me!" He placed his arms out in front of him with his hands on her midsection. "You okay, babe? You still look kinda sleepy."

She yawned as she leaned into his outstretched arms. "I'm just a little nervous, that's all. Definitely still sleepy, too."

"We can do this. Together. Got it?"

After a big exhale they looked at each other, laced their hands together and walked into the kitchen to face the music.

* * *

_**A/N: Please take a moment to leave a comment or review. It's what writers learn from and live on. Thank you!**_


	10. Chapter 10

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff as much as possible.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a great Beta Babe! This is my first Glee fanfic and I'd appreciate any concrit you have to give. A big shout out to GoingVintage and knkykty (Thank you for the drive-by!) for listening to my ranting and pushing me to make this better. Kudos to im2looney for the help with deciding what the Gleeks would be up to. Y'all rock my socks off!

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

* * *

Everyone at the table slowly stopped talking when they saw the pair walk in the room, their hands linked and huge grins on their faces. When Noah pulled out the chair for Rachel to sit in, there was a simultaneous jaw dropping around the table, along with a loud gasp from Quinn. Finn froze for a moment with half a sandwich hanging out of his mouth, not knowing what he had missed.

_Okay, so subtlety just went out the window, _Rachel thought as her eyes looked up to Noah. She snorted a little to see her husband's face plastered with a look like a deer caught in headlights. After seeing the first reaction of the group, she figured now was as good as any to let their friends know the reason they had called their "family" meeting.

Rachel stood, removed the hoodie and smoothed the baby doll shirt she had put on underneath. A quick move to show the Gleeks her gravid profile brought a squeal from the girls and shocked looks toward Noah from the guys. If the young couple had imagined their announcement would actually go this well without saying a word, they would have slept better the night before.

Soon enough, the stunned friends started to talk loudly over each other letting the couple know how excited they were, congratulating them, as well as asking too many questions at the same time.

Asher ran to his mother when he heard the explosion of noise; his head quickly hidden under her shirt. She let him stay there for a moment before trying to coax him out. Noah quickly waved his arms to signal to the group that they needed to quiet down, and they all did rather quickly.

"Bug, you need to come out from under Mama's shirt." she soothed. Rachel sat down again and carefully put him on her lap as she still whispered in his ear to help him focus. "I'll just snuggle you close for a little bit, okay? Our friends were just very happy that we're having a new baby so that's why they were loud. Do you understand?"

Asher nodded quietly then buried his face into his mother's chest. She hugged him to her as she felt him choking back a sniffle. This was definitely the hardest part of parenting for Rachel, trying to console her son. She sighed loudly as she gently toyed with her son's hair, "It's okay, Bug. Mama's here."

Noah picked up the boy and handed him the ultrasound picture he had pulled from his pocket. He winked at Asher and whispered into his ear, "Go on, Ash! You tell them that there are two babies, okay? You can do it!"

Asher quickly scrambled up to sit on his father's shoulders with the piece of paper in his hand. A big grin crept across his face as he held the sonogram over his head for everyone to see. The entire room paused to hear what he was going to say.

"Two babies!" he yelled, "Mama has two babies inside her."

His hands quickly went to his ears as he waited for the loudness again but was surprised when the group just sad there blinking for a few moments, except for Rachel's Dads who had just grinned when they saw their grandson with the pictures since Rachel had accidentally told them the month before. Asher quickly scrambled down from his father's shoulders and asked to play in the guest room upstairs away from the confusing noise of the grown ups.

Mark Berry put a gentle hand on his daughter's shoulder, "Sweetpea, I'll go upstairs with Asher to keep an eye on him so you can attend to your guests."

"Thank you, Dad. I really appreciate it. I guess all this is just too much for him." she kissed her son on the cheek then turned back to her husband. "Are you ready for this?"

"Y'mean am I ready for this party? Because I sure as fuck am, baby." he exhaled loudly. "I need this after the last two weeks we've had of drama enemas and ER visits."

She took his hand to place it on her belly, "This, Noah. Are you ready for this?" she whispered. "Would I be a bad Mom if I said I was scared?"

With a quick move he hugged her close. "I think all parents are scared shitless most of the time, Rach. And for the record, you're an awesome mother and I'll kick the ass of the person who dares to disagree."

She laughed into his chest; he knew just what to say at the moment she needed it. "I love you so much, Noah."

"And you can show me some of that love tonight after we put Asher to bed, baby." he growled in reply.

Their quiet moment was interrupted by Artie who had come home for the weekend from the University of Michigan where he was almost finished getting his bachelor's degree in journalism.

"Guys! Big congrats on the new additions! It looks like Asher is pretty jazzed about his impending big brotherhood." he enthused. He gave Noah a high five and hugged Rachel along with a big grin.

"Thank you, Artie. We're really excited about everything and still kind of shocked about the prospect of twins." Rachel sighed. "If you'll excuse me please, I need to go talk to Quinn. Thank you so much for making the trip, we really appreciate it."

He nodded his confirmation and continued to get Noah up to speed on what life was life on campus. Noah half listened as his friend enthused about his life away from small town Ohio.

"Puck, you really need to come to campus this term. I'm sure you think that someone with my major wouldn't be invited to parties and such but you'd be surprised." Artie smiled, "I think I'm beginning to get a taste for beer."

Noah was happy for his friend but also wondered what it would be like to be able to take off for the weekend on a whim or sleep until noon then eat pizza for breakfast. After being a parent for five years he couldn't remember what just randomly doing something was like or putting chores on hold until he wanted to do them. He loved his family so wasn't planning on complaining.

Across the room Rachel was cornering Quinn in the attempt to get the ex-Cheerio to talk. The look that the blonde had on her face when she saw Finn walk in the room wasn't one an adoring girlfriend would have. The last time the high school sweethearts were together, Finn was hugging Quinn promising her he'd visit soon while she had her tear-stained face buried in his chest. At that very moment, daggers were being mentally plunged into the young man's back from the angry face in front of Rachel.

"Quinn? Can I just say you're scaring me a little bit with the way you're looking at Finn?"

"I just don't get it, Rachel. We've been together since we were in high school but for some reason he's scared out of his mind when I talk about marriage. He says he wants to be with me, he wants to have kids, but if marriage even gets hinted at he just shuts down." Quinn sighed loudly as she crossed her arms.

"He does realize that usually the traditional relationship progression is admission of love, marriage and then children, right?"

Quinn looked from glaring at Finn's back to Rachel's face that was now plastered with a big grin. Obviously the petite young mother chose her words specifically to get a reaction from her friend, and as usual she did a really good job of pushing the right buttons.

"Uh yeah, Rach. You and Puck are such bad examples having Ash first before getting married." The blonde rolled her eyes then wrapped her arms around her friend. "Jerk. Quit trying to make me laugh when I'm trying to set Finn's hair on fire with my superior telekinetic abilities."

The friends hugged for a minute before Rachel stepped back to find out the real source of Quinn's frustration.

Rachel raised her eyebrow. "Okay, so here's the big question. Does he know what you're specifically mad about? I mean, exactly that you want to get married and you don't understand why he doesn't?"

Quinn's face fell rather quickly as she listened. She knew that she needed to be bluntly frank with her boyfriend, inference just was not his forte, but she didn't understand how after so many years together he couldn't read her. It was plainly obvious to her so why didn't he seem to get it? It didn't used to annoy her when they were in high school but now that they were older she expected to not have to explain everything, she had hoped that he would hear her subtext.

A loud knock at the door interrupted the girls' conversation but when the door was opened a big cheer went up. Brittany and Santana had made the trip from Chicago much to everyone's surprise. Santana was studying law as well as working in a law firm while Brittany taught dance to kids at a local studio. Both girls were incredibly busy but were glad to make the trip to support their friends.

As soon as her eyes locked on the former captain, Brittany quickly left Santana's side to make a beeline for Quinn to smother her in a hug. While the petite blonde was happy to see her friend she found that she needed oxygen more. The struggle to break free continued until Quinn could turn her head to plead for air.

"B, I need to breathe!" she gasped.

Brittany released her deathgrip and began to tell her friends in excruciating detail what the two Cheerios had done that weekend during their visit to Lima. Everything. Even Rachel, with her love of minutiae was starting to nod off. Brittany continued to talk to Quinn even after the brunette had excused herself to speak to the former Ms. Pillsbury, now Mrs. Schuester. The Fabray glare was now directed at Rachel as she walked away, a laugh poorly stifled.

"Rachel! Oh my gosh! Congratulations. You and Noah must be very excited." the guidance councilor grinned.

Rachel hugged her close but paused for a moment putting Emma at arms length. She cocked her head to the side as she looked her up and down. The confused woman looked herself up and down to see if she had spilled something on her clothes then looked to the brunette.

"What? Did I spill something? What?" She was starting to panic.

A small smile started to form on Rachel's face as she leaned into whisper to the red head.

"I know your secret." she said quietly. "You said you've been feeling under the weather lately, right? You two are pregnant, aren't you?"

A well manicured hand goes up to Emma's mouth as she gasped, "H-how did you know? We just found out a few weeks ago and wanted to wait before we said anything. Y-you know, just in case." She can't look at Rachel when she says that because the young mother does know what that's like.

Rachel choked back her tears as she fumbled to hold her dear friend close, trying not to leave too many tears on the taller woman's shoulder. She tried to say how happy she was for them but for some reason any words came out as sobbing. Emma quickly took charge and escorted her outside, sitting down on the picnic table in the backyard.

Inside, Noah checked his watch to get the webcam ready for the link up with Mercedes, Tina, Mike and Matt. All of them were broke, too far away, or working so they couldn't make it back to Ohio. Tina was still studying linguistics in England, Matt was at UC San Luis Obispo getting ready to graduate with a degree in architecture, Mike was in Singapore translating for his family's business and Mercedes was in New York City working hard getting a poly sci degree while interning at the mayors office. The former bad boy laughed to himself when he thought about how different everyone's life was compared to where they thought they would be. None of the classmates had imagined that Rachel Berry and Puck would be together, married and parents before they were able to legally drink. When the news of Rachel's pregnancy hit the school grapevine most people who heard the news couldn't believe it - Rachel Berry was going to be a Broadway star and not a teenage mother. He had felt guilty about derailing her lifelong dream especially after the car accident and her miscarriage. During their rough patch while they were all healing, he had considered leaving Rachel and Asher to keep them away from his vortex of doom but when she saw the look in his eye she made him realize they needed him.

"Okay, everybody. About two minutes until the link up with the Gleeks who couldn't make it. Can everyone please gather around the table, please?" Noah requested. He scanned the room for Rachel as he spoke but couldn't see her. A pat on the back followed by a finger pointed from Mr. Schue to the picnic table outside let him know that his wife was talking to Ms. Pillsbury, uh, Mrs. Schue. A handkerchief brought up to wipe Rachel's face didn't make him too optimistic about how the rest of the day was going to play out. He must have groaned out loud at the sight because Artie was beside him trying to reassure him

"It's gonna be okay, Puck. You remember how she was when she was pregnant with Asher and that thing in the auditorium? Whoa. I have to say you handled it better than I would have back then." he flinched when he remembered the crying girl.

"She hasn't really flipped out that badly in a long time, Artie. I think she's upset about something else today and I don't think it's the babies." Noah groaned again at the use of the plural. "It's gonna take me a while to get used to the fact that we're having twins."

Artie smiled as slapped his friend's back, "Hey, I'm just glad it's you and not me."

Noah just rolled his eyes. "You can't hide your jealousy man. I see you checkin' out Rach and her wicked rack of doom. I do have to admit it is my favorite part about her being pregnant." he chuckled.

Rachel and Emma walked back into the kitchen just as the words left Noah's mouth. A wink from his wife let him know that she had heard what she said and they would have to discuss it later, most likely after their clothes were on the floor.

Okay, maybe the day was looking up.

As everyone got settled around the large table, Emma gave Noah a reassuring squeeze on his arm. "She's okay. I promise. We're just in a similar boat so it made her really happy and a sad when I, um, talked about my own concerns. I apologize, Noah."

Noah was glad it had nothing to do with him for once but wondered what the… _WHOA! Schue had knocked up Ms. Pillsbury?_ He couldn't believe that he actually knew more than his former teacher about something. Well, actually, anything.

Rachel sat down next to her husband with a grin on her face. "Okay, just a few more Gleeks to tell! Are you ready for this?"

"Babe, I am. Let's do this." he winked.

The large monitor showed the four Gleeks sitting at their desks as they each linked to the Berry's camera. They all waved at the assembled people and started talking over each other.

Noah stood up and quieted everyone down then pulled Rachel up to stand.

"Okay, we called this family meeting today to announce..Rachel? Would you like to continue?"

Rachel turned toward the camera and then to the side so the remaining Gleeks could see her small but obvious belly. She traced a pattern on her midsection as she listened to their responses.

"Thank you so much everyone. I'm not due until spring break but I'm sure you're noticing that I'm a little bit large for thirteen weeks. Well, it's because we're having twins!" she beamed.

Emma quickly stood up to grab Rachel's hand as the room erupted in clapping and cheering. After a quick nod from the younger girl a very surprised Emma blurted, "Will and I are expecting, too. So it looks like there will be three new Glee babies by the time March rolls around."

The room suddenly went silent, the entire group had their jaws on the floor and their eyes on the redhead who was now clinging to her husband. She wasn't entirely sure she had made the right choice looking at the shocked appearances on their faces. The only people who had smiles on their faces were Rachel and Noah, Noah looking much like the cat who got the canary. Rachel was just relieved that someone could share the experiences with her this time around.

Quinn was the first to speak, "Oh Mrs. Schue! That's fantastic! I am so happy for you both."

All their heads quickly whipped around to look at her and she jumped at the sound. Asher chose this quiet time to run into the kitchen, he skidded across the linoleum floor and straight into Mr. Schue.

"What's up buttercup?" the boy laughed.

Will picked him up to put him on his shoulders tickling him as he went. "Well, Asher. Mrs. Schue just announced that we're having a new baby about he same time your family is. What do you think about that?"

Asher put both of his hands on the side of the man's face to turn it as much as possible towards him. His eyes were big as he spoke, "My Mrs. Schue has a baby in her, too? Good job, Mr. Schue. High five!"

Will high fived the boy back as the room broke into laugher. When he saw that the noise was getting to be too much for the boy he pulled him down to his chest to muffle the noise with his hands. The group quickly quieted down for the boy's comfort, just because he looked like a duck and quacked like one sure didn't mean he was. He was a boy who was smart beyond his years so his other issues were easily forgotten by the now grown up Gleeks.

Rachel held out her arms and motioned for him to climb on to her lap. He happily snuggled into her chest as he talked to her bump.

"Babies, my Mrs. Schue is gonna have a baby too so you'll be the same number as them. You be nice to Mama,babies, so no more making her feel yucky, got it?" he paused to wait for a reply.

When the bump started to jiggle with his mother's laughing he took it as a confirmation. He gently patted the bump while he spoke in a very serious tone.

"Good babies. I miss you babies." he whispered. He smiled up as his mother, planted a kiss on both cheeks followed by a raspberry on her neck. He loved to see his Mama smile best of all. He loved it more than ice cream, he loved it more than playing games with Da and he loved is almost as much as sleeping on the couch when his Ma and Da watched the singing movies, almost.

"I love you, Bug."

"I know, Mama. You tell me every day."

Asher held his arms up toward the ceiling, "I love you this much, Mama. The biggest big there is."

"What about me, Ash?' Noah leaned over his wife's shoulder to be close to his son's face. "Do you love me that big?"

Asher leaned forward to put his nose to his father's, "Oh yes, Da. I love you the biggest big too. Do you think I'll love the babies that big? It's a big job to be a big brother and I'm a little scared."

Both Rachel and Noah held their son closely for a few moments before he started to wiggle free.

"Okay, okay! I believe I can do it!" he sputtered, "Can we have some cake now?"

"Sure, Bug. Go tell your GrandPapa that we said it was okay." Rachel paused until Asher was out of earshot. "I think I feel a little bit better about this whole new experience Noah. Thank you so much."

Noah curled up his lip with a wondering look on his face, "For what, babe?"

"For being there for the long haul, for doing you best and admitting you're scared too. I love you Noah Puckerman."

He laughed at hearing his own words repeated back. "I love you, too Rachel Berry-Puckerman. I love you the biggest big."

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_**A/N: Please take a moment to review or comment. It is the food writers live off of!**_


	11. Chapter 11

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

_A/N: _Thank you to knkykty, cleanslate, im2looney, and livinginrhythm for their beta skills, suggestions and mad listening. Also, major appreciation to GoingVintage for making me try harder. Thank you!

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

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Noah pulled Rachel into a one-armed embrace, the other hand dropped to her abdomen. "I love you **so **much, babe," he whispered in between quick kisses to her lips. "So much. You know that, right? I don't want you to ever question that."

Rachel laughed as she linked her hand with his. She could tell that the reality of twins was getting a little more "real" since they had told the Gleeks. It was one thing to have the secret to themselves, but it certainly took on a whole new feeling now that their closest friends knew. If she was honest with herself, she was probably a lot more scared that he was but someone had to at least pretend to be confident.

"Noah, you tell me every day you love me," she whispered back. "And you can show me tonight how much you love me."

He gave her a quick squeeze to the ass and a wink. "You can count on that, babe. I plan on collecting on that as soon as our son is asleep, but right now it's time to do some gaming with the guys. You girls gonna catch up on stuff or what do you have planned?"

"I'm not really sure," she mumbled. "Quinn and Finn are arguing so they might be leaving and I'm not sure I can stay awake during another conversation with Brittany."

She sagged into his arms and rested her head on his chest. He held her close until he felt a pat on his back.

"Da. Can we do some gaming now, please?" Asher grinned.

Noah looked from their son to his wife and tried to muster the best puppy dog begging face that he could. As usual, he failed miserably, probably due to the fact that his right eyebrow jutted upward with a naughty curve that had other uses in his marriage.

Rachel laughed as she playfully smacked Noah's arm. "Not because you're begging, but because I need you to stop making that pathetic face. Please! Go do some gaming with your son and friends before I actually fall for that look."

A quick victory dance from father and son just made her laugh harder, but she stopped as they left her eyesight. She realized that she'd have to play hostess to her other girl Gleeks, and for some reason she felt like she did in high school, highly inadequate. Rachel ran her fingers through her hair, smoothed her shirt and walked back into the kitchen. She could do this. She could definitely do this. If she could make it through all the things that she had been made to deal with in the last five years, she could do something easy like talk. Right?

In the living room the guys, minus Kurt, had decided to play one of Asher's cartoon based car racing games. Despite its' childish appearance, they found that the more they played, the more difficult it got. This fact bugged the daylights out of Noah every time Asher advanced in the game while his car kept blowing up.

"Da! You need to watch out for the boulders coming down the mountain. They keep squishing you," Asher cautioned. He was obviously frustrated that his father wasn't paying attention and memorizing the patterns.

Noah desperately looked to his son for suggestions. "Okay, so to get through that part of the track I need to hit left, right, up, down and then the square button?"

Asher bobbed his head affirmatively, "Yeah, Da! You keep pushing the triangle at the end. Push the square!"

Finn and Artie shared a laugh as they elbowed each other; this got a quick glare from Noah. The two men quickly stifled their laughter with a hand to their mouths.

Will just looked away as he patted Noah on the back. "I guess we need to listen to the expert, Puck. Asher seems to have this game memorized. Very impressive Asher."

Asher grinned at Mr. Schue and jumped into his lap. The boy began to explain how to complete the rest of the current level as well as the following three in a very excited voice. The man tried to keep up with the instructions he was being given but got lost after a dozen or so joystick with button combinations. After a few polite head nods and echoing from the teacher Asher took his turn at the game getting through multiple levels before he lost a life. After a quick high five to his father, Asher went back into the kitchen to grab a cookie.

When Emma saw Asher she motioned for him to sit on her lap. He happily climbed up to lay back in her arms. She held him firmly as she began to talk to him. "You looked so excited when you talked about the new babies, honey. Do you want your Mama to have two boys, two girls or one of each?"

Asher thought about the question for a moment before answering. He scratched his head while he looked to his mother.

"I think one boy and one girl. Then Mama could have someone on her team and the boys would still win," he grinned.

The occupants around the kitchen table sighed and smiled at Rachel as she grabbed her son off Emma's lap to snuggle him close. She knew that there would be a time in the next few months when she couldn't hold him like that for lack of space or what is because of the extra space she would be taking up? Either way she knew she needed to do this as much as possible for both of them, probably more for her. Rachel stoked his hair until he started mumbling.

"Mama, not my hair. **_Please_**." Asher swatted her hands away from his head.

She quickly stopped her movements and turned him to face her. "I apologize, Bug. Can I give you a kiss instead?"

Rachel was soon peppered with kisses on both cheeks from her laughing son. He squished her cheeks and over-dramatically kissed her nose before he jumped down and ran back into the living room.

"So what's the deal with Hudson, Quinn? I was sure you two would be married by now, or at least engaged."

Quinn clenched her jaw as she glared at Santana. In high school, she was the captain of the Cheerios, the president of the Chastity Club, the girlfriend of the quarterback - she was going to get back that control.

"What about you, Lopez? No prospects in Chicago? Or is that why you to came back to Lima, to try to take Finn from me again?" she snarled, once again reminded of Finn's contradictory feelings due to Santana's prodding.

Brittany just extended her left arm with her fingers stretched out. The engagement ring on her finger was incredibly obvious to everyone but she still found it necessary to wiggle her fingers. She smiled broadly as she held Santana's hand. "She just asked me this weekend so we haven't had time to tell anyone. We're planning on a summer wedding. Can Asher be our ring bearer?"

After what seemed like a very long time of everyone in the kitchen looking at each other and trying to pick their jaws up off the floor, Kurt finally spoke. "So how did you pop the question Santana? Or the better question when did you two become a couple?" he grinned.

Santana's face went red when she realized that she had been called out. She was obviously thrown off by the shift in the conversation and was fumbling over words. Everyone in the room waited for a reply from the dark-haired girl but instead Brittany answered the question.

"First, Santana asked my parents last week, then she took me to the park and we sat and watched the ducks. After about an hour of just sitting there she got down on one knee and proposed. It was very romantic!" she gushed, one hand still linked with the brunette's. She dropped a quick peck on the other girl's cheek then winked as she continued, "As for the rest of it, that would be none of your beeswax so don't bother trying to get it out of me, Kurt."

When the guys didn't hear any sound coming from the kitchen they started to get concerned. It was always a bad sign when the girls were quiet, in their opinion - that meant they were either plotting against them or fighting amongst themselves. Since the girls hadn't been in the same room since Mr. Schue's wedding they were betting on a fight, most likely started between Quinn and Santana.

Noah decided he'd go into the kitchen under the pretences that they needed something to drink and he was being a good host. He knew Rachel wouldn't buy it, but his curiosity was getting the better of him.

He cautiously entered the kitchen to see everyone around the table staring at Brittany's ring while they congratulated both girls. It took him a minute to figure out exactly had happened, so when Santana saw the huge grin on his face, she stood up to ready herself for the barrage of questions.

"Congrats, San. I'm glad you finally grew a pair and owned up. About fuckin' time, Lopez." He clapped her on the back and then leaned over to give Brittany a hug. He turned back around to see the brunette with her jaw open, astounded that he had passed up a chance to give her grief.

Rachel just smiled at Noah, immensely proud of her husband. She would have to show him how much she appreciated him later, maybe even debut the new lingerie she had bought a few weeks ago.

"Babe, I'm just gonna grab some pop for the guys and some juice for Asher then I'll get out of your hair." He returned her smile as he noted the look in her eyes. _Score!_

Rachel watched as her husband walked out of the kitchen enjoying the view, then her eyes went to Quinn, whose eyes were starting to well up. For a day that had begun with two fantastic announcements then segued to a surprise revelation, it didn't seem to have much hope for ending as well. She wondered if this is what being an adult was about, trying to pick yourself up and put yourself back together when the universe knocked you to pieces? It was definitely part of it, but the love she had in her life was what she focused on.

The sad blonde walked over and slumped in the seat next to Rachel. She looked unusually small and defeated as she sat there trying to stifle a sob, trying being the operative word.

"It's really upsetting you, isn't it Quinn? I wish there was something I could do to help you." Rachel said quietly.

Quinn snorted a little, "Could you ask your husband to talk to Finn? Maybe he can explain why it's so important for a girl who marry the boy she loves. I mean, you get up in front of all your friends to promise that you'll love them forever. Isn't that what everyone wants?"

"Just explain things to Finn! I'm sure if you explained your perspective he'd understand your disappointment." She paused a moment. "So when you talk to him about marriage what does he say?"

"Um," Quinn stared at her hands instead of at her friend. "He says it's not time yet. It's always something about how we need to wait, just a little longer. I honestly don't get it, Rachel. We'll be graduating this summer so I keep hoping he'll propose by then."

"It just sounds like you might be right, Quinn. Maybe once you two graduate he might feel like he's ready, I can't even hazard a guess with Finn. I can usually figure out what Noah or Asher is plotting but that is the extent of my abilities."

Quinn laughed at her friend. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to figure out what Finn is up to, honestly. I think that's what keeps me trying so hard. I love him and he drives me crazy. Is that what keeps you and Noah together?"

In the living room Finn was getting his butt kicked at video games by a kindergartner and being laughed at by his friends but all he could think of was Quinn. A smack to his shoulder from Noah brought him out of his thoughts and back to the room.

"Hudson! What is the problem? You're getting slayed by my five year old and all you can do is sigh dramatically," Noah groaned.

"Uh, sorry, Puck. I was just thinking." Finn just half-grinned and shrugged. "About Quinn. And stuff."

Artie did a quick roll of his eyes. "Finn, just propose! It insanely obvious you want to, so why haven't you yet?"

"Seriously, dude! It's so obvious even I can see it." Puck laughed. "Just ask her, Hudson. I'll bet you a bar tab that Quinn is in there spilling her guts to Rachel as we speak."

"Puck! Quit it," he sighed loudly. " And I am ready to propose. I just need to make two more payments, that's it. I can have the ring by Christmas break, easy."

"Uncle Finn? You should talk to Mama. When I have a problem and I make that thinking face like you did she helps me." Asher suggested.

Finn ginned at the boy. "Thanks, Ash. She is pretty smart."

A few seconds later all the heads in the room whipped around when they actually heard Rachel speak. Noah was pretty sure Finn, Artie and Mr. Schue flinched audibly when she seemingly materialized after being mentioned.

She smiled as she walked in the room, waving at Asher as he beat Finn another time. "Noah, may I speak to you for a moment?"

She quickly grabbed his hand to pull him into the hallway just slightly out of earshot of the two groups.

"What's up, babe? Are you okay?" he panicked.

She linked their fingers together and put them to her belly to reassure him. "I'm fine. The babies are fine. What I'm concerned about, or rather whom, is Quinn and Finn." she whispered.

"Rachel!" he snapped, "Don't scare the shit out of me like that! Damn. I thought we both agreed there had been enough drama this week, babe?"

She pulled away from him, turned and crossed her arms. "I apologize but a friend of mine is miserable because of a friend of yours and I think we can help."

He knew he was in trouble when he could barely hear her voice so when her shoulders started to bob up and down, he was sure he was toast. He quickly put a hand to her back as he could hear her choke back a small sob.

"Quinn is so sad, Noah. She loves Finn and just wants to marry him and be with him so badly." A ragged inhale escaped her lips. "It just breaks my heart because I want them to be as happy as we are."

She turned around and it was her husband's turn to have his heart broken. Her eyes were pink, splotchy and there were big tears rolling down her cheeks. The part that really hurt was the fact that her bottom lip quivered along with her chin.

He pulled her into a hug as he tried to console her. He remembered there had been some rough spots in their relationship when she was pregnant with Asher, the whole shitfest because of Santana came to mind, then the drama of having to live with his mother for a while.

Rachel felt him tense up and looked up into his eyes. "What, Noah?"

"I need to apologize first. I don't want you to think that I'm angry. Shit, no." He paused to take his index finger to push her hair over her shoulder. "You scared me when you yanked me into this fuckin' hallway and started whispering. I'm not a man to beg, but for fuck's sake, Rach, don't do that unless I need to panic, got it?"

She covered her mouth to laugh as she buried her head into his chest.

"I love you, Noah. Don't worry about me getting the word out that you're really a nice guy at heart, okay? I'll continue to let them live under the illusion that you're still a badass," she giggled.

He narrowed his eyes at his wife, "Tell no one and you shall be greatly rewarded for your silence."

Rachel got up on her tiptoes to plant an overly loud kiss to Noah's lips. He groaned loudly when he heard the whistles from the guys in the living room.

"Okay, so what's the deal with Quinn and Finn? How is the fact that he's got her ring almost paid off equal to making her miserable?" he asked.

Rachel spluttered a few times before she spoke, "Huh? Wha.."

Noah quickly whipped out his cellphone from his back pocket to take a picture of the speechless, stunned woman with her jaw dropped. He paused to look at his phone and then reset his wallpaper to the new addition.

"Noah Asher Puckerman, senior!" she punched his arm with a scowl on her face. "Delete that picture immediately. I look like a cartoon character gone wrong!"

Noah smirked, "What? How many times in my life have I been able to see you so at a loss for words? I thought I'd like to remember what it looked like."

"You do realize that this is going on your permanent record, right?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine." He clicked a few buttons to appease her. "So let's get back to your meddling."

"It's not meddling!" she protested. "Quinn didn't get the whole story. She has no clue that Finn has a ring at all, he just keeps telling her that it's not time yet. Which of course makes total sense now after hearing that he actually has a ring but he's just waiting to pay it off."

She clapped her hands excitedly as she started to hatch a plan. Her husband saw the look in her eyes and started to panic.

"Whatever it is, Rach, no. Just no. Hell no. Fuck no." He grabbed both of her arms to emphasize his point, "Don't do it, babe. Whatever shit you're cooking up in that big brain of yours, please just quit."

"Noah, I merely want to assure Quinn that the man she adores, as well as wants to spend the rest of her life with, is equally committed to her."

Noah rolled his eyes. "As absolutely hot as your big words are, I really don't think we should get into other people's shit. Seriously."

"Well, what if we loaned Finn the money?" she wondered out loud. "Yes! We need to loan him the money so he can propose to her."

Noah narrowed his eyes at his wife. "Rach. No. This is between Hudson and Quinn. You don't poke your nose into another guy's shit. I might as well just kick him in the junk and then it would be our fault that they couldn't have kids. Do you want that guilt on your conscience?"

"Fine. You find out how much he owes using your verbal ninja skills and I'll give the money to Quinn and tell her that you owed Finn some money." she paused for a moment until a smirk crawled across her face, "Don't you still owe him for some hockey pool thingamajig?"

He was not amused at being reminded of the debt, "You do realize this is going down on your permanent record, right?"

"Let's try again, Noah." she curved one eyebrow up, "I just bought a new ensemble that will rock your little world and the only way you're going to see it is if you open up your wallet and show our good friend Finn what an honorable man you are and pay your debt. Got it, Puckerman?"

"Fuck. Me."

Rachel stretched up to kiss the tip of his nose, "Only if you're lucky, sweet cheeks."

Noah gave her a sideways look as he grabbed his wallet from his back pocket. He opened it to remove a few bills to cover what he owed his friend. With a few steps he crossed the room to slip the money discreetly into Finn's hand accompanied by a wink and a shoulder bump. As the taller man realized what Noah had done his eyes lit up and he ran into the kitchen to find Quinn.

The blonde got pulled outside to the Berry's porch looking quite confused. All the Gleeks rushed into the kitchen to watch the pair through the sliding glass door. The girls started to scream and the guys started to high five each other when they saw the former football captain go down on one knee, the blonde covering her mouth as she bawled.

"You're a good man, Noah Puckerman," Rachel whispered. "A very good man."

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**_A/N: Please take the time to comment or review. It's what writers live on!_**


	12. Chapter 12

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

_A/N: Thank you to beta babes cleanslate, knkykty, im2looney and jlz_1 for reading this over and whipping it into shape!_

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

* * *

Finn walked steadfastly through the kitchen to where Quinn stood next to the dessert laden counter staring at a blueberry pie quite intently. She brought her hand up to her mouth as she contemplated how large a piece she could eat without feeling too guilty. Her hand as well as her eyes went towards the floor when the tall boy approached her.

"Um, Quinn?" He shuffled his feet as he spoke. "Can we talk outside, please?"

She looked up at him with wide eyes as she slowly nodded. The blond had a million thoughts going through her mind at once, all focused on ways that Finn would break up with her.

He took her hand, opened the sliding glass door then shut it behind them. The panic in her eyes made his stomach do flips so he tried to think of some reassuring words to say to her. He hugged her close before he quickly got down on one knee. Unfortunately, the second he did this, Quinn started bawling.

"Please don't cry, Quinn," he begged, "I gonna throw up as it is, I'm so nervous!"

She nodded and tried to choke back her tears but she just ended up spluttering. Her makeup was running down her face so she grabbed Finn's sleeve to wipe her cheeks.

"I love you so much, Quinn. I'm sorry I don't have your ring paid off yet, but, but I want to marry you. I promise." He kept his eyes focused on hers to emphasize his seriousness. "I don't want to lose you. Please don't leave me?"

The crying girl threw herself into his arms and knocked him to the ground while she sobbed, "I love you too much to leave you, you nut! I love you, Finn. I was so scared you were going to break up with me."

"Why would you think that I want to break up with you?" he laughed, "You're the best thing in my life, babe. Better than cheesecake, even."

She slugged him in the chest as she glared at him. He panicked as her hands went to her hips and a sour look started to cross her face.

"Why did you keep saying that you needed more time? I thought you just didn't want to commit which totally didn't make sense because you always said you wanted to be with me forever."

Finn scrambled for a thought, "I just needed to pay off the ring. I just needed more time! Honestly." He crossed his heart several times then hugged the peeved girl.

"Quinn, I love you so much," he choked out. "Will you marry me?"

The sliding glass door opening accompanied by the thunderous clapping of their friends brought them out of their moment causing them both to blush furiously. As they stood Quinn leaned into the tall boy and buried her face in his chest. She tried to reply but her words were muffled by his shirt. Finn pulled her back to try to hear the words he so desperately wanted.

He watched her head bob up and down while a huge grin crept across his face. He scooped her up in his arms to twirl her around until she protested.

Rachel gently picked up Asher to snuggle him close after the loud clapping had startled him. She spoke in hushed tones to explain why, yet again, the adults had suddenly burst into such loud noises.

"Everyone is just so happy, Bug. Finn asked Quinn to marry him and she said yes. It's really exciting isn't it?" She rubbed circles in his back to help calm him down. "Some people just make loud noises when they're happy."

"You know how that is, right Ash?" Noah continued, "When we watch sports and we jump up and down and cheer so Mama tells us to quiet down. It's just like that."

Asher nodded as he buried his face into his mother's chest. He understood what being excited was like but why did they all have to be so loud at the same time? His mother held him close for a few more seconds before she set him down on the floor.

"I apologize, Bug, but it's getting hard to me to pick you up for a long time. You're so big now with your muscles. You know you look just like your Da when he was your age?" She smiled.

"Da? We look the same?" He looked to his father for an answer.

Puck grinned as he winked at his son, "Yup. When we go to see Nana and Aunt Hannah we'll look at my baby books, okay?"

Asher pushed his head under his father's shirt to play with the hem. He thought for a minute before a small muffled voice replied.

"Can we go home now, Da? Mama keeps yawning because the babies are making her tired and I want my pizza for dinner. Please, Da?" he pleaded.

Rachel nodded in agreement as she rubbed her belly, "We're all pretty tired, Noah. I think everyone would understand if we left. I'll just go -" She stopped and her eyes went wide. She stilled herself while she splayed her hands wider.

"Rach? What's the problem?" Noah put his hand over hers with a panicked look on his face.

She pursed her lips while she attempted to exhale, "S'okay, really. Just a Braxton Hicks. I must be a little dehydrated. I'll go get some water."

Her husband glared at her while he dragged her to the kitchen table and plunked her down in a chair. A few moments later he pushed a bottle of water into her hands, giving her a stern look as he waited for her to drink.

"Noah, it's really okay. Braxton Hicks contractions usually start around six weeks but this is the first time I've felt them," she soothed.

Rachel lifted the water to her lips and she started to drink the water to appease him. She started to roll her eyes but stopped when she saw the continued fear in Noah's eyes. After all, the drama of her fainting that week had made him overly sensitive about anything that could be potentially harmful to his wife or children

Asher broke the tension between the couple when sat on his mother's lap to snuggle into her body. He was tired of all the grown ups talking about things he didn't understand while he just wanted things to be quiet. Quietly, he rubbed his Mama's belly as he talked to the babies.

"I'm tired too, babies. Grown ups talk too much about nothing. Mama says you'll be here on the outside when it's spring. Do you know when that is? I don't. I hope it's soon, babies. I love you," he whispered.

Seeing his son and wife so tired was enough to get Noah to leave. He was enjoying hanging out with his friends but needed to think of the most important people in his life before himself. He planted a kiss on Asher and Rachel then crossed the room to talk to his in-laws.

"Asher is getting tired and Rachel is pretty whipped so we're gonna take off. Thank you for setting this up, we really appreciate it." He shook both their hands before turning to his friends.

"Guys! Thank you so much for coming. It's time for the Puckerman clan to go home and get some much needed sleep after a busy day. Later guys."

With that he gathered up everything they had brought as Rachel said good byes to everyone. Of course there were tears and hugs along with promises to call as well as keep in touch. Asher grabbed his mother's hand to pull her towards the door.

"Mama, **_please_**?" he pleaded.

Noah loaded everything into their car then came back to try to drag Rachel away from the warm glow of attention. He picked up Asher as he put an arm around his wife's waist. She looked up with a small smile on her face along with red tear stained eyes.

"Babe. I know you and Ash are pretty tired so let's get the four of you home, okay? We have everyone's email, cell number and Skype name. You can talk to them every day when you're on maternity leave but right now we gotta get home." He winked to help soften the blow.

She sighed loudly as she buckled her son into his car seat. "That was so much fun, Noah. It was good seeing our friends again. I hope we can meet up again this summer after the babies are here."

Noah laughed and shook his head. "Just get buckled in, babe. If I remember correctly I was promised some alone time with you in a very skimpy outfit and I plan on collecting."

"Noah Asher Puckerman!" Rachel gasped. "I always keep my promises."

About an hour later with their son sleeping soundly and the house hastily picked up, Noah sat in bed waiting for his wife. He had stripped down to his boxer briefs in record time while Rachel had excused herself to the bathroom. He stared at the door across the hall waiting impatiently to collect on the aforementioned promise sex.

Rachel stood in front of the bathroom mirror inspecting the new lingerie she had bought. She felt a bit awkward in something so seductive with her baby bump but she knew that it would drive Noah crazy. It was worth the effort to make him happy. She smoothed down the front of the dark material that hugged the curve of her belly as a small giggle escaped her lips. She looked herself over one last time, turned out the light and then planted herself in the doorway of their bedroom.

The second Rachel turned off the light Noah's eyes flew open. He had seen the strategically placed lace and ribbons when he had found the bag in the back of their closet. Now his brain was entertaining thoughts of what it would look like on her. And her curves. And then he thought of her completely illegally hot legs. And how it would look like off of her. And the anticipation was sending all of his blood to one spot.

"So does it meet with your approval, Noah?" Rachel smirked.

"A corset?" he choked out, "_**GUH**_. I'm pretty sure you're trying to kill me, Rach! But what a way to go..."

Rachel looked away from him as she played with the ribbons, "That was the point. Well, partially. I'm not sure how long my current hormonal high is going to last so I thought I'd take advantage of it."

Noah's eyebrow quirked as a grin crawled across his face. He rubbed his hands together then reached for the ribbon that was positioned between his wife's breasts.

"Who am I to argue with your hormones, babe? I'm more than happy to help you out with that," the patented Puckerman grin was in full force, "I am such a lucky guy."

"I couldn't agree more, Noah." Rachel continued to undo her corset as she spoke, "I'm not sure how you got so lucky but I do intend to have some of that aforementioned luck rub off on me."

His jaw dropped as she slowly shrugged off the lacy material only to be clad in the smallest pair of panties he had ever seen.

"Fuck. Me," he whispered reverently.

Rachel's eyes went wide and she blushed crimson. They had made love, had sex, and certainly fucked more than once in their relationship but for some reason she never remembered him saying it like _**that**_. It was a combination of all the love, necessity and intensity in two words.

He could only stare at her to try to burn this memory of how she looked and how it made him feel. Even after being with her for so long he didn't think it had ever been _**this **_intense before. When they had found out she was pregnant with Asher it had been intense, but not like this. His son's first kick and his dramatic birth were high on the scale but this was wholly different. Even learning about the twins Rachel was now carrying and seeing them on the sonogram didn't match this.

"You are so beautiful, Rach. _**So**_. _**Beautiful**_." He paused a moment, looking very thoughtful. "I see only one problem."

The petite brunette lowered her eyes as she put one arm over her now fuller chest and the other over the small curve of her belly.

Noah slid off the bed and easily closed the gap between them. He moved the arm she had placed over her top. Gently he cupped her face to see her eyes, he had to explain.

"Babe, the only problem I see are these panties. I'd much rather see them on the floor than on you." He winked then pulled her into a tight backward hug. "But you already know that, huh?"

"And I thought you were just happy to see me, Noah," she whispered.

"Seriously? This right here," he took his thumbs to trace lazy circles on her breasts then slowly down her ribs to settle his hands on her backside, "this is gorgeous. I swear the pheromones you are putting out now drive me crazier than ever, especially with that little bump you have going on."

She linked their fingers together on her hips and moved them towards her belly button. "I'll have to tell them at school, you know. At least officially, although I'm sure everyone has speculated after my fainting spell."

"They're gonna lose their shit when they find out it's twins!" Noah chuckled.

Rachel rolled he eyes, not that he could see it. "You sound rather proud of yourself, don't you, Mr. Puckerman?"

Noah continued to laugh as he rubbed her belly, "Hell yeah! You were on the pill and I _**still**_ managed to get you pregnant. I have very determined sperm which is pretty fucking impressive. Literally."

"You do realize," she groaned, "that after these two are born we're going to have to use a secondary method of birth control every time, Noah? _**Every**_. _**Time**_." She pushed her shoulder into his chest to punctuate her point.

"Yeah, babe. I know. As much as I love making beautiful Jewish babies with you I think three is our limit. I mean, we both have great jobs, we're working on finishing college and we have Asher to think of. It's gonna be shitcrazy around here come spring already."

Rachel turned to face him, "Noah?"

"Uh huh?"

She wrapped both arms around his neck and got up on tiptoe to whisper into his ear, "Can we stop talking and you get down to relieving me of these panties?"

"Whatever you want, babe. I am here to please and not to tease."

The next day at work was a long one for Rachel. She had a lengthy discussion with her principal, Mr. Raymer, as well as the music teacher she reported to. She showed them she had a clean bill of health and would keep them informed as to when her doctor wanted her to start her maternity leave.

"Mr. Raymer, I can't apologize enough for the scare the other day. I assure you I've spoken to my primary obstetrician and every thing is under control," she said confidently.

"Mrs. Puckerman, you've already given me a rather extensive letter confirming that. That is the only thing I need to make the school board feel better, to be honest." Mr. Raymer stood and shook Rachel's hand. "It's lunchtime, Rachel. Please take advantage of the next hour to take care of yourself."

Rachel blushed as she stood to return the courtesy. "Yes, sir. We are rather hungry now that you mention it. It _** is **_taco day."

"And that is why I love Mondays," the tall man grinned.

"Thank you again Mr. Raymer. This pregnancy, putting it lightly, was a shock. The fact that after my ER visit confirmed we were expecting twins just compounded that fact." She wrung her hands as she spoke.

"Yes, Mrs. Puckerman," he motioned toward the door, "Lunch. Go. _**Now**_."

"Yes, sir."

Rachel quickly walked down the hallway to the lunchroom. Her eyes glanced around the room to find her son. When she heard whimpering it sounded a little to familiar for her to dismiss. After a brisk walk toward the sad sound she found Asher sitting in the hallway with his teacher Ms. Flynn. The only word that sprang to mind at that second was more Puck-like than her usual fare - "Shit."

"Mrs. Puckerman! I'm so glad to see you." the older woman enthused, "Asher didn't have a lunch today and he's been rather despondent."

The sad boy stood up, ran to his mother and sobbed into her shirt. Rachel's heart sank when she remembered seeing a note from Ms. Flynn on her desk asking to see her at her earliest convenience.

"Mama! You forgot my lunch today! I was so hungry at snack time and Da didn't make the toast or scrambled eggs right so I didn't eat breakfast either," he choked out.

Now Rachel understood the text she had gotten earlier from her husband saying that _**her**_ son was being picky and wouldn't eat his breakfast.

"Oh Asher! I apologize. Let's get in the lunch line and get something delicious to eat, okay Bug?" she said a little too forced for her ear.

She felt awful. School mornings were usually Noah's time with their son because she was already at school getting her lesson plan ready for the day. She also had written out detailed 3X5 cards with the "correct" way to make Asher's breakfasts. That morning Rachel had gotten herself ready and completely forgotten about her family's needs. She quickly thanked the older woman and grabbed the boy's arm to go get some food.

"Mama? Why are there tears on your cheeks?" Asher asked, "Was I bad to forget my lunch, Mama?"

With a hasty wipe of her face, Rachel used her acting skills to smile widely for her son.

"Oh no, Asher! I'm just so happy we get to have lunch together today." She lied.

"You like taco day too, Mama?" he grinned, "Tacos are like pizza, kinda, but not from Italy, but still delicious. I love them!"

Rachel continued to smile through the meal with her son, another conversation with his teacher and then through the rest of her day. It certainly wasn't genuine but her hope was that she _**would**_ mean it, eventually.

Noah noticed that she wasn't herself that night when she kissed him and Asher and went to bed before their son did. He slipped into bed next to her with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. From his experience she'd talk when she was ready so when she said, "Noah? Can you just hold me, please?" in such a small voice, he did just that without a witty reply.

The quiet went on for the next two weeks until Noah couldn't take it any longer. He had been patient. He had told her he'd listen when she wanted to talk. The thing that finally broke him was when Asher asked to be Galileo for Halloween and Rachel cried for two hours.

_What the fuck is going on?_

He decided the best time to get her to talk was at her sixteen week checkup when she was a captive audience. They were waiting for Dr. Connor and the sonogram tech to get another view of the twins, hopefully find out their gender in the process. Rachel was talking about the merits of having girls over boys when something finally snapped in Noah's brain.

"Rachel?" he interrupted, "So what the hell is making you so sad lately? I've tried to wait until you said something but.. FUCK! I can't wait. Spill woman!"

At that moment Rachel's jaw dropped and the doctor along with the tech chose to knock on the exam room door.

"Come in!" she called quickly.

Noah smacked his palm on his forehead in frustration.

The tech started to talk Rachel and Noah through was he was doing. He apologized as he squeezed the cold gel and began to take measurements. He checked the larger twin "A" 's bones for length and density then continued to check its organs. He assured them that everything looked on target for gestational age. Next he started to measure twin "B" when a chuckle started to escape his lips.

The couple both turned from staring at the monitor to the young man.

"What?" Noah barked. "Boy or girl?"

The startled tech looked to Rachel who nodded her approval.

"Certainly. If you can tell us, please do. Right Noah?" she grinned and squeezed her husband's hand.

A few buttons and keystrokes later they started at what the tech had typed on twin "B".

**BOY**.

* * *

**_A/N: Please take a moment to review/comment. It's what writers live for! Thank you._**


	13. Chapter 13

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck is a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

_A/N: Thank you to beta babes knkykty, im2looney for reading this over and whipping it into shape!_

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Noah and Rachel stared at the word on the screen - _BOY._ For more than five minutes they sat there in complete silence until Dr. Connor spoke, almost a little too loud.

"I'll reassure you that Jones here has a 99% accuracy rate so when he says 'boy' I'll go with what he said." The doctor grinned and patted the young man on the back.

Rachel grinned at Noah as she nearly vibrated with excitement, "Another boy! Asher is going to be so excited about a little brother. I _am _still holding out hope that our shy twin is a girl, though."

The young father just squeezed his wife's hand while he muttered about having something in his _fuckin' eyes, dammit._ Rachel brought his hand up and she kissed it tenderly, "It's okay to cry, Noah."

The doctor and tech politely excused themselves so Rachel could get dressed again.

"We'll be back in a few minutes with a DVD of today's sonogram and to answer any questions you might have. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Puckerman, on two healthy babies." Dr. Connor shook both their hands and quietly closed the door behind them.

Rachel traced the fingers of their linked hand together down the left side of her exposed belly, "So here's our little boy, Noah! Right here." She paused for a moment trying to find the right words to fit her emotions, "For some reason, it just seems more 'real' knowing we're having a boy and seeing them on the screen again. They've changed _so_ much since we saw them a few weeks ago."

"I know what you mean, Rach! It was like that when we saw Asher for the first time. I mean, _shit_, I knew there was a baby there. I could see what it was doing to you but when it went from an _it_ to a _he_, it totally changed." He winked up at her then kissed her belly.

"Noah! Our families will be at my Dads' soon and your mother will be impatiently waiting to find out the results of the sonogram. I'd better get dressed before we hear another knock on the door and I'm still standing here with my assets hanging out of this unattractive gown," she smirked.

Noah leaned back into the over sized chair and crossed his legs. "You do that, babe. I'll just sit here and enjoy the view. From your gorgeous chocolate brown eyes all the way down to your illegally hot legs. Well, that stuff and all the hot stuff in between."

"Is my husband and father of my children propositioning me in a doctor's office?" A well practiced eyebrow rose questioningly.

"Well, why don't you come over here and see just how hard my..."

A knock interrupted them _again._

On the short drive over to the Berry's, Noah let his wife know that she wasn't getting out of telling him what was bothering her.

"I love you, Rach and how you feel affects our kids, especially these two," he said, laying a hand on her midsection.

Rachel didn't reply but remained quiet until they had arrived at their destination. She leaned across the car to give her husband a kiss. "I know you're right, Noah. We'll talk tomorrow after my Dads pick Asher up. Thank you so much for working late this week just so we could have some time together."

He walked around to her side of the car to open her door. She smiled up as she grasped his hand, "Let's just have a nice dinner with our families, please?"

Noah traced her jawline with his thumb and then pressed his forehead to hers, "Well, since you said it so nicely." He kissed her slowly until she gasped for air.

"Dinner and _then _dessert, Noah."

After a delicious meal with the Puckermans and the Berrys, it was time for Ruth's triple layer chocolate cake. Rachel was getting the plates and silverware when she was ambushed in the kitchen by her mother-in-law.

"So sweetie! What did your obstetrician say today? Two boys, girls or one of each?" She grinned as she rubbed Rachel's prominent bump.

Rachel winked, "You're just going to have to wait a few more minutes, Ruth. As soon as everyone is sitting at the table your son will make the announcement."

The older woman quickly rounded everyone up and immediately shushed them.

"Noah and Rachel have an announcement to make. Go ahead, Noah." She patted her son on the shoulder.

Asher quirked his eyebrow as he looked to his parents for an answer. He already knew his Mama was going to have a baby. Two babies. What else could his Da say?

Noah stood with Rachel beside him, huge grins on both their faces.

"As you _all_ know," he looked to his mother as he narrowed his eyes, "Rachel had another sonogram today. One twin was being shy and the tech couldn't tell us the gender but this twin," he gestured down Rachel's left side, "is most definitely another boy. Asher, you're getting at least one little brother!"

The happy pair beamed as their son jumped excitedly around the room, flapping his arms as he sang, "I get a little brother! Yeah, yeah, yeah! I get a little brother that is mine, mine, mine!"

Hannah laughed the loudest at her nephew. "You are such a looney, Ash! What are you gonna do if your Mama has two boys and not just one?"

Asher's eyes went wide then he pretended to faint dramatically on the Berry's couch.

Noah patted his wife on the back, "He is very obviously _your_ son, Rach."

"Maybe this one will be more of a Puckling, Noah," she giggled, "Is that what you want? The football player who ends up with the young ingenue after a dramatic turn of events?"

Steve Berry quickly interrupted before a stunned Noah could speak, "How about an updated family picture for the wall, sweetie?"

The young mother called for their son who ran into the living room to stand between his parents. Rachel turned a bit to the side so her bump was a little more obvious as Noah slung his arm around (what was left of) her waist.

"Say cheeseburgers!"

All three Puckermans smiled as Rachel's dads took turns making them pose until Asher declared they had taken enough. His mother yawned and nodded her agreement.

"Time for me to get these two home. School day tomorrow." Noah pulled his wife into his chest and kissed her forehead. "We'll get you guys home, babe. You and the kids need your sleep."

Before Asher had a chance to whine about leaving Rachel reminded him that tomorrow was Friday so he'd be able to spend plenty of time with his grandparents and aunt over the weekend.

"We have to finish getting your Halloween costume together, don't we, Asher?" Rachel's Dad piped up.

"Yes, GrandPapa!" he cheered. "We need to find a hat and a beard and we're all done. My Galileo is gonna be awesome."

"Thanks for doing that, Mark. We really appreciate you guys having him over Saturday. Rach and I haven't had enough time together since school started. Then after she landed in the E.R. and we found out about the twins..."

"It's really our pleasure, Noah. We love spending time with our grandson so if you two get some time together it's a bonus for everyone." Mark smiled broadly and his son-in-law.

Asher went to his grandfathers' house most days after school until his mother picked him up. He did his homework, art projects, and read to keep busy. Every so often his parents needed some "grown up time" they took him for a night or two. Noah had recently asked his in-laws if they could do just that so Rachel could have a chance to talk.

"_You're a stand up guy Noah. We noticed that she's been pretty quiet lately, which we all know is never good. Maybe a nice dinner out at her favorite restaurant and a kid free night at home?"_

"_That's exactly what I was thinking, Steve. Rachel is doing her best to keep her shit together in front of me and Ash but I still see that sad look in her eye. The last time I saw that look was after the accident and I'd really rather not have another shitstorm like that again."_

Noah got his paperwork done quickly and made sure Kurt had the order invoices for parts he'd need the next week. Then he had two small fixes to a long project that he could finally finish. The customer was so happy it was done early the guy slipped him some extra cash and told Noah to buy "his little woman" something nice. Not half bad for a few hours work!

When get got home he found Rachel napping on the living room couch with several name books open and covering her lap. Noah gently rubbed her shoulder as he sat down beside her. She sat up sleepily when he removed the scattered books. She stretched both her arms up and kissed him with her eyes still closed. He lifted her onto his lap and carefully set her head on his chest.

"So how was work, Noah? Did you remember to get your parts ordered?" she mumbled.

"Yeah, babe. I did," he stroked her hair as he spoke,"I also gave Kurt those sugar cookies you made for him to say thank you for letting me change my schedule. He said he'd like more sprinkles next time."

She laughed loudly. "And I thought Asher was picky!"

"He's just being his regular annoying self. Nothing new. So your dads picked up Ash?"

Rachel lifted her head to kiss him on his pulse point with a loud smack, "Yup."

"Babe, no matter how hot you get me we're still having that talk today." He shivered when her hand carelessly grazed his chest. She wasn't playing fair.

"But we have the house to ourselves and I currently have a libido that is off the charts!" she whined, "It's _never_ been like this and I need you. I really need you."

Noah's eyes got wide and he quickly took his shirt off. "Here's the deal, Rach. Step one, we have crazy sex here on the floor until you scream my name. Step two, you and I talk. Got it?" His pants, briefs and then socks found their way to the floor beside the shirt.

By the time he had finished talking his wife was standing there with nothing but a catlike smile on her face and nodding her head. She was not playing fair at all!

After officially christening the hallway, the pantry door and the "eleven" setting on their massage showerhead, they finally got a chance to talk. They could talk when they actually regained the power of speech. Rachel was half asleep and struggling to put a coherent sentence together.

They were laying in bed just enjoying the quiet when Rachel's stomach growled. She giggled and grabbed Noah's hand as she slid her legs off the side.

"It looks like the babies are demanding food. How about splitting one of your world famous sandwich concoctions? I've actually been craving one all day. Please?" She batted her eyes while she tugged his arm toward the door.

He narrowed his eyes at her to study her face. It felt like a set up but he also knew he needed to keep her happy as possible over the coming months so he was willing to risk it.

"Okay, Rach. I'll make you a sandwich and you'll tell me _everything_," he replied.

Rachel gave him a half smile and nodded. She knew that she needed to talk to him about her concerns for multiple reasons but mostly for her health, hers as well as their children. One scare was more than enough for her so she would talk to get everything off her chest.

She crossed her heart with her index finger, "I promise, Noah. We'll talk."

As her husband started to make the sandwich, Rachel sat down at the kitchen table. She ran her fingers through her hair and braided it a few times before she felt comfortable enough to start explaining.

"I feel like a bad parent Noah," she said quietly,"I keep forgetting to put Asher's lunch in his backpack. Ms. Flynn called me to say that I sent him to school in pants with holes in the knees. I went to the grocery store only to realize that I had left my purse at home. I didn't pick you up at work when Burt was working on your car. What is wrong with me?"

Noah sat the plate down in front of her and then nudged her over on the chair to put her on his lap. He could feel her shaking as she curved her body into his chest.

"Rach," he paused for a moment to stroke her hair, "you are an awesome parent. You have been since the moment you knew you were pregnant with Asher. Everything you needed to do for him, you got it done. Do you hear me, babe? Shit. You made me a better parent!"

Rachel nodded but still wouldn't look her husband in the eyes. She felt like she had failed so many times in the last year alone that she was surprised he was still there beside her. After finding out she was pregnant again she thought it would be the last straw, he would be out the door running.

Her voice shook as she started to talk, "I'm scared, Noah. We were doing so well! I don't understand why things keep happening to us. Can we deal with everything we've been given?"

Her husband was definitely unnerved to see this side of his wife. She was the backbone of their family, who always figured the best way to deal with things. Always. He firmly believed that their success as a couple as well as a family was because of her and her (usually) annoying love of planning things out.

"I'm scared too, Rach. It's taken us five years of hard work to get here," he sighed, "We've had shit happen. But we've also had good things happen, babe."

"We have had lots of good things, I know. But then something has to happen just when we get settled." She nervously rubbed her belly with both hands as she spoke, "I was so scared you'd leave when you found out I was pregnant. I can't believe I'm telling you this. I just need to de-stress, Dr. Connor said. We don't want these two delivered prematurely so I'll do whatever I have to. I'm not used to this feeling, Noah."

"Slow down, Rachel. I've always told you that I'm in this for the long haul. I mean it. But I'm also scared constantly when it comes to things with you and Asher. Fuck. This is what being a grown up is like, right?" He hugged her a little more tightly, "We can do this together."

"I-I-I just feel like I'm failing our son, Noah. If I can't take care of just one, how will I be able to take care of three?" Her chin started to shake and her eyes filled with tears, "Please don't leave me! Please -"

Rachel froze for a moment, then blinked a few times. She grabbed Noah's hands before he could speak so he could understand why she had stopped breathing for a moment. "Wait, Noah. Maybe they'll...Oh!" she gasped. "Right here!"

His jaw dropped as he felt the wild kicks from both sides of his wife's belly. "Whoa! It feels like they're both..."

She nodded vigorously but didn't say a word. A few seconds later she started to sing softly.

_I love you, a bushel and a peck!_

_A bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck!_

_A hug around the neck, and a barrel and a heap_

_A barrel and a heap, and I'm talkin' in my sleep._

_About you._

_About you!_

_About you! _

Noah whispered into her ear, "Guys and Dolls? You would pick a musical."

The two babies quickly calmed down when they heard their mother's voice so the couple just sat for a minute smiling at each other until Rachel's stomach growled again.

She smirked,"I guess I'd better get eating this sandwich, huh?"

Her husband planted a kiss on he forehead before setting her down in the chair. "You'd better feed my babies before they start kicking up a storm again! So have they kicked like that before?"

Rachel had her mouth full so she just shook her head, a few bites later she covered her mouth as she spoke, "That was the first time I could feel it from the outside. I've felt some flutters over the last week or so but nothing that strong! Wow."

After finishing his apple he sat down again next to her. "Are you up for going out today? Maybe we could go to the mall and you could get some new clothes?"

Her eyes lit up, "I do have some money saved up. You don't mind, Noah?"

"I love you so much I'd even go shopping at the mall with you. As long as we can get a burger and fries with one of those super thick malts afterwards," he grinned.

"Just let me wash my face and put my hair up, it'll just take five minutes."

"You do that and I'll take a nap on the couch. Your estimations suck, babe. I love you and your concept of time is awful." He watched her walk up the stairs and was pretty sure he could hear her roll her eyes from across the room.

An hour later, Rachel gently woke Noah up by peppering his face with kisses. He gazed down at his watch and snorted loudly but kept his comments to himself. He'd rather not disrupt the amazement of feeling the twins kick for the first time and continue the (getting) better day they were having.

"I love you, babe. Let's get you some new MILF clothes and then dig into one of those fuckin' awesome burgers." He winked at her.

"Noah Asher Puckerman!" Rachel shrieked as she hit his arm.

Noah pulled her down onto the couch and wrapped his arms around her, "I'm just calling it like I see it, babe. I also don't recall you complaining when you were yelling those incredibly attractive commands full of swearing earlier today."

He could feel her trying to launch into a rebuttal as she talked into his chest. He turned her head to the side so he could hear her muffled words.

"I love you, Noah. As much as I detest you using expletives to convey your affection you always know how to make me feel beautiful," she pecked the tip of his nose, "Now let's get to the mall and that hamburger. It sounds really good all of a sudden, maybe with some turkey bacon."

"You just ate a huge sandwich and you're hungry for a hamburger?" he snorted, "I guess the babies are making you hungry. Let's go!"

After ninety minutes of shopping (Noah started whining after an hour so Rachel promised to meet him in the game store when she was done) they were sitting in the diner waiting to order.

Rachel showed Noah all of her purchases as he looked around the restaurant for their waitress. "Noah, do you like my selections? I thought that you would especially like this one," she held up a snug fitting babydoll shirt with a v-cut neckline.

"Whoa! Yes, Puckzilla approves." He half-smiled.

The brunette rolled her eyes as her husband, "Noah, you only get called that by your high school buddies. Why do you insist on calling yourself that? I love Noah, got it? I only put up with Puck."

"Hardly, Rach! When we're 'together'," he used air quotes since they were in public, "that's Puck. Noah is the grown up but Puck is the guy that makes you see stars."

Rachel was ecstatic when their waitress showed up at that exact moment. She figured once he had his food maybe he would see the error of this ways, not terribly likely, but she was hungry after walking around the mall.

Their food was soon on their table and they both dove in to their hamburgers. Rachel dipped her fries in her malt while she made little moans of joy.

Noah raised his eyebrow each time she shoved more into her mouth, "I can honestly say that I don't know if I am completely turned on by the noises you're making or sick to my stomach with the evil thing you're doing to your malt."

The young woman looked at her husband and winked, "Home now, baby?"

Noah raised his arm to get the attention of the waitress, "CHECK PLEASE!"

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**_A/N: Please take a moment to review/comment. It's what us writers live off! _**


	14. Chapter 14

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck likes to cuss like he gets paid for it and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

_A/N: Thank you to beta babes knkykty, sassy_26, and shannonphenix for reading this over and helping me whip it into shape!_

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

* * *

It was just a few days before Halloween when Rachel realized that very few of her clothes fit. She was standing in front of her closet in just her panty set trying to pick out an outfit for a party that night and having absolutely no luck. She was almost at the twenty week point in her pregnancy and it seemed like the size of her belly had doubled in the last month. The twins were still very small but they definitely made their presence known. She had gone up yet another cup size and was quickly headed to the next, most of her shirts had reached their stretching point and most of all her stamina was gone. It took all the energy she had to make it through the day at work so by the time it was time for the family to eat dinner she was nearly asleep at the table. The frustration had really gotten to her earlier that week when Ms. Flynn was shocked to find out she was only halfway through her pregnancy. She slammed the closet door shut with a huff and sat down on their bed angrily as she remembered the older woman's face.

"Babe, if you don't want to go we don't have to," Puck said from the doorway, "Your dads are watching Asher so we can always stay home and do something else."

Rachel exhaled loudly, "But Quinn is supposed to be in town this weekend. I promised her I'd go since I haven't seen her since the meetup. I didn't realize I'd be this tired so early in the pregnancy, Noah. I am so beat by the time I get home from school I just want to crawl in bed so the last thing I want to do on a Friday night is go to a party."

Noah lay on the bed and motioned for her to do the same. He knew she needed the rest but had been pushing herself at school because it was almost conference time - her first. She told him how nervous she was but she claimed it was the same as dealing with stage fright so it wouldn't be a problem. As of yesterday, she had officially rescinded that statement when he found her sitting on the couch with tears in her eyes and an entire box of tissues crumpled around her.

Rachel gingerly scooched herself over to where her husband had settled and then leaned into his chest. He started to rub the knots out of her lower back to try to help her relax but stopped when she started to gasp.

Noah pushed himself up on his elbows to look at her face,"What's wrong, Rach?"

"They're just really kicking today. Ow! Talk about adding insult to injury," she paused to rub her belly, "First I can't find anything to wear because of the fact that I'm twice the size I was last month and now they're trying to break my ribs from the inside."

He watched her flinch a few times before he splayed his hands over her moving midsection. The kicks came from both sides with an occasional jab following, he couldn't imagine what it felt like from the other side.

"Uh, we're staying in tonight." He wasn't going to debate it. "I'll take care of calling and ask them to come over tomorrow so you can hang out with Quinn. You're taking it easy, Rach. Got it?"

Rachel just rolled back into her husband's arms and waited until the vigorous movements stopped. "I'm not going to argue, Noah. I just don't have it in me today."

"S'okay. You just take it easy and we'll order some dinner in," he soothed. "I'll grab my cell and give Hudson a call while you take a nap. Give me five minutes."

There was no sound from Rachel until Noah heard a soft snoring coming from the other side of the bed. He pulled the covers up over her and went to find his cellphone. He hated to have to skip the party but he'd feel worse if there was any more drama in her pregnancy, especially because of him, one scare was more than enough.

Noah dialed his friend and waited to leave a message, "Hey Hudson! Rach and I aren't gonna make it tonight. Babies are kicking up a storm and she's worn out so we're staying home tonight. I know we said we'd be there so Rach is gonna give Quinn a call later. She's feeling bad about missing the party and wants you guys to come over tomorrow so we can 'catch up' or some shit. Later."

He walked upstairs to lay down next to Rachel and enjoy the rare moment of quiet while Ash was at his grandfathers' house for the night. He set his alarm for an hour, hoping she'd be feeling better later.

Rachel sat up and rubbed her eyes when she heard the cellphone's alarm beeping. She hadn't realized that she had fallen asleep but was grateful that Noah had reminded her that she needed to relax. She put her hand on his chest to steady herself as she leaned in to kiss him.

"Noah, time to get up. We need to order dinner before my stomach starts growling. Noah?" she whispered.

He opened one eye to look at her then wrapped his arm around her to bring her to settle into his side. "You doin' better? They settling down for you?" he rasped.

She thoughtfully rubbed her belly. "I think they're done fighting for now. Those kicks really hurt, Noah! I don't remember Asher being nearly as active as these two. What is it going to be like when they're closer to full term?"

"At your next appointment this week we can ask Dr. Connor. Maybe there's some yoga or music or some shit like that to calm them down. I dunno. She had mentioned you could go to a special massage therapist since you were a high risk pregnancy and all." He noticed her watery eyes as he finished talking.

"I don't like feeling so out of control, Noah. When I was pregnant with Asher I was just clueless about things so I didn't really know what to expect. Now that I'm pregnant again I keep expecting it to be like the last time and it's not. Things are so different with these two it's really unnerving," she said quietly. "I'm used to knowing what I'm doing or at least being able to bluff my way through it. I can't do that anymore."

Noah squeezed his arms around her. "It gonna be okay. We have lots of people to help us when we need it. Fuck, Rach! I hate it when we're drowning like this. We were doing great again and then..."

"And then I go and get pregnant and screw it all up, right?" Rachel choked out.

She rolled away from him to get off the bed but stopped when she felt him grip her arm.

"Babe," he tried to explain himself, "that's not what I meant. I'm not used to being the one with the plan and taking care of you. You're the one who plans shit five years in advance down to the last detail. I usually just fly by the seat of my pants most of the time and hope I don't screw up."

"Oh, Noah!" she sighed, "I know what all of this is doing to me but I wasn't thinking of what it was doing to you. I apologize."

She pulled him off the bed, hugged him close and whispered into his ear, "I love you so much, baby. So, so much."

"You rock my world, gorgeous," he grinned.

Rachel ran her fingers through her husband's thick short hair as she realized she needed to return to her earlier task, selecting an outfit.

"I'm going to need to get some bigger clothes this weekend, that's all there is to it." She groaned. "I can't believe how fast they're growing, Noah! I'm going to be huge by Thanksgiving."

"Babe, you really need to stop freaking out about this. Last time you were pregnant it was just Ash and this time it's twins so you're gonna be bigger." he touched her cheek, "Let's go downstairs and get some dinner ordered, okay?"

She nodded and quickly grabbed her yoga pants as well as one of his hoodies. She couldn't be picky at this point.

Noah's stomach growled loudly while they read menus a few minutes later. "Sounds like it's time for some Chinese or maybe some Thai? Fuck. Whatever sounds good to you. I could eat my shoes at this point."

An hour later they dove into their dinner when Rachel decided to bring up a topic they hadn't talked about in years.

"I was wondering," she said between bites, "what names you were thinking of? I like a few girls' names and wanted to your opinion."

"I really hadn't thought about it yet, babe. I do want to use family names again. Maybe from your side this time?" He took a swig of his soda.

Rachel shrugged,"I'm not too partial to either side really. Dad and Daddy did do some genealogy research not long after Asher was born so maybe they have some interesting choices for us?"

Noah grabbed another chicken satay as he thought of some of the names they had discussed before. "My mom's father was Benjamin and his brother was Jonathan. I think there's also a Joshua and Jacob in there too."

"Those are good boys names but nothing really jumps out at me." She frowned. "How about Chaya or Ziva?."

Noah chuckled, "You're still hoping that the shy twin is a girl, aren't you?"

After glaring at her husband for a moment Rachel stuck her tongue out at him, "Yes. I'm sure of it. I'll get my little girl this time, Noah. Now what about those names?"

He reached over to rub the right side of her belly where the shy twin lay only to be met with kicks as he rested his hand. His jaw dropped while his wife failed to stifle a giggle.

"I told you! That's my baby girl telling her Da she won't be ignored. It's okay, sweetpea, Mama knows you're there. Ow!" She flinched when she started getting kicks from the other side as well.

"That's my boy!" he cheered, "You don't want Mama to forget about you do you?"

Rachel rolled her eyes, "How can I do that when he's sitting on my bladder at the moment? Ow! Quit yelling at them!" She gently rubbed both sides.

Noah inched his chair closer to hers until they were touching. His arched his eyebrow, then leaned forward until he was nose to nose with her.

"I apologize, Rach. I know this whole thing is hard enough for you." He kissed her slowly. "I don't want to make it worse."

Rachel laughed, "I know, I know. You're not, Noah. I'm just teasing."

Both of them jumped when Rachel's phone beeped to signal a message had been received. She glanced at the backlit screen to see _Message from Q. Fabray _printed there.

"Quinn?"

"Yes. How did you guess?" She frowned. "Am I really that transparent?"

"To me?" He smiled. "Yes. You saw the name and looked somewhere between guilty as hell and like you were going to cry."

She loved this man so much! He was actually able to read her incredibly well because they had been through so much in their relationship - teenage parenthood, miscarriage, devastating car accident, and now the prospect of twins. It amazed her to no end that they had done this at such a young age as well as in such a short time.

She stared at her fingernails, picking at the nail polish that was starting to fade. "Would you mind if I gave her a call?"

"Go ahead. I'll just finish cleaning up here." He stood and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "You can pick a movie for us to watch after you're off the phone."

"Thank you, Noah." She pecked him on the tip of the nose, "Love you."

Rachel stood carefully with her husband's help then walked into the living room to sit on the couch. She propped a pillow up in the corner as she lowered herself down. After pressing a few buttons on her phone she waited for Quinn to pick up.

"Rachel! Are you okay? Finn said that you weren't going to make it tonight." Quinn gasped after she answered her phone.

"I'm fine, Quinn. Really. The babies were just really active today so I'm wiped out." She exhaled loudly, "I feel awful we can't make it to your party but I don't think I'd be any fun, honestly."

Quinn breathed a sigh of relief, "I was so worried that you were having more complications when I heard you guys weren't coming. It scared the daylights out of me!"

"I've been really careful ever since I fainted," she sighed, "It was scary enough being in the ER but when they did the sonogram and saw _two _heartbeats, it got incredibly serious. We've taken cooking courses, read as many books as we could get our hands on and I'm going to start having once a week doctor's appointments soon."

"Really? Once a week? I didn't think you started those until the end of your pregnancy. Why so soon?" she asked.

Quinn didn't want to pry but she was concerned for her friend. She remembered when Rachel had been in the hospital years ago and explained that because of the accident she had miscarried. The look on her friend's tear-streaked face was absolutely heartbreaking back then so it was something the blond had hoped she would never have to see again.

Rachel bit her lip as she tried to think of the best words to say. "It's because I have several high risk markers - I'm petite, expecting twins, and my last pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Dr. Connor is just being extra careful. If there was something to worry about I promise I'd tell you, Quinn."

"Okay." Quinn paused, "So what time did you want to get together tomorrow? We should do a movie marathon and make pizza!"

"Sounds like a great idea. We'll have the the ingredients to make to make the pizza and you guys bring dessert." Rachel smiled.

Quinn burst into laughter, "You just want my red velvet cupcakes, don't you, Mrs. Puckerman?"

"I must be losing my gift for acting. Both you and Noah have been able see through me so well lately! I blame the overload of estrogen in my body clouding my brain." Rachel was obviously exasperated.

The blond giggled, "Let it go, sweetie. I know one of the major reasons you love me so is my baking abilities. I've learned to deal with it."

The two friends talked for a while until Rachel started to nod off. The couch was just too comfortable after a long day at work.

"I'd better get going," Rachel yawned, "Noah wants to watch a movie tonight but I'm not sure I'll be able to stay awake to watch the entire thing. I'll talk to you later, Quinn. We'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

Quinn glanced at her watch, "People should start getting here for the party soon so I should probably help Finn get ready. I'll see you guys tomorrow, Rach. Bye!"

"Bye, Quinn."

Rachel walked back into the kitchen just as Noah was putting the last bit of silverware into the dishwasher. He had picked up the kitchen and put two ice cream sandwiches on the table for them.

Her eyes got wide, "Oh my! I'm not sure which is making me salivate more, the handsome man cleaning my kitchen or the dessert on my table."

Noah walked towards his wife with a wicked smirk on his face. He was sure she would get the answer right after some gentle (_or not_) persuasion.

Rachel slept soundly until the smell of someone cooking breakfast roused smell of french toast enticed her to get out of bed despite her body's argument to stay put. She walked into the kitchen and saw Asher and Noah at the stove laughing as they argued over what topping was best.

"Da, black currant jelly is the best!" Asher stuck his tongue out at his father, "You don't put chocolate syrup on them. Yuck."

"Rach! You gotta help me! This boy seems to think you can't put chocolate syrup on them."

The young mother smiled at the two "boys" in her life, "You two are both wrong! I only put real maple syrup on mine, anything else would be sacrilege." She scrunched up her face to show her distaste.

"Mama!" Asher yelled, "Maple syrup is for pancakes and waffles. You're silly." He bounded over to where she stood and dragged to the table.

Rachel sat down gently as she waited for her son to bring her the plate he had prepared for her. "When did you get home, Asher? I thought you were going book shopping with GrandPapa today."

The bouncy boy sat himself down on his mother's lap. "I missed my babies. Can I read them a story, Mama?"

"Sure, Bug." Noah replied, "You go get the book you want to read and let Mama get some breakfast in her. She needs to feed the twins, okay?"

Asher nodded his head then ran off to get his selection so his parents took advantage of his absence to continue their activities from the prior evening.

Noah picked up his wife and set her on the table quickly pushing her shirt aside to cup her fuller breasts. She tried to muffle her groan but it only seemed to intensify the sound. He continued to move his hands until he let them rest on her backside.

"Noah!" she whispered, "As much as I would love to continue this he'll be back any second and I'm _not_ going to psychologically scar our son!'

He whined a little but continued to nibble at her pulse point for a few moments until their son came running into the kitchen. The boy skidded across the linoleum floor until he ran into a chair with a loud bang.

"Da! Quit kissing Mama," the boy demanded, "She needs to eat to feed the babies and I need to read to them." He pushed his father's shoulder until the kissing stopped.

Rachel blushed furiously as she pulled away and gasped for air, "I apologize, Asher. You're definitely right, I do need to get some breakfast."

She helped herself to the french toast, a glass of milk as well as some fruit salad. Noah watched her with wide eyes when she kept putting more on her plate and then finishing it with gusto.

"Babe? You're scaring me just a little with that pile of food you just inhaled," he grinned.

The small brunette just patted her midsection while she stabbed another piece of strawberry then jammed it into her mouth. "Mmmmm! This fruit is delicious, Noah. I guess I just needed the right food to get my appetite back."

Asher pulled his stepstool over to sit down next to his mother with his book. He sat down and quietly began to read about colored fish as he placed a hand on where his siblings were laying. He continued reading until he received the response he was waiting for.

Rachel flinched when the kicks started but laughed when she saw her son's eyes light up at the strange sensation. She was still worried how things would go when Asher had real babies to contend with but tried to focus on the moment.

"Mama! They're happy today. They like the story." His eyes were focused on his mother's moving belly.

Before Rachel could reply a loud knock at the door made her jump. Noah walked to the door and opened it to find a stern man in a suit staring back at him.

"Mr. Puckerman? I'm Thomas King from Child Protective Services. We've been contacted about potential neglect in your household and I've been sent to investigate."

Noah's jaw dropped, "What? That's bullshit. We work our asses off to take care of our son."

The straight faced man held up papers and handed them to Noah, "I'm required by law to investigate every report of potential neglect. Will you allow me to do so or are you denying me entry?"

Rachel stood next to her husband, placed a hand on his shoulder then opened the door wide, "You're more than welcome to do your investigation, Mr. King. We won't stand in your way because we know there's been no neglect."

Asher started to howl uncontrollably when he saw the serious interchange between the adults. He ran to his mother and hid under her pajama top.

"Fine, Mr. King," Noah growled, "Do what you have to and then get out. My wife is pregnant and is under doctor's orders to avoid stress. I'm pretty sure you being here isn't doing that."

Rachel smiled weakly at her husband as she watched the older man walk through the kitchen and into their living room. This day was not going according to plan, not in the least.

* * *

**_A/N: Please take a moment to comment/review. It's what writers crave!_**

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	15. Chapter 15

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck has a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and major thank yous to knkykty who rocks my world as a beta. Shout out to my tweeple who keep me entertained with their awesome.

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

* * *

Rachel stroked Asher's arm as she watched Noah walk into the living room with Mr. King. She mentally hoped that he could contain his anger for as long as the visit lasted. Her son's escalating whimpers brought her back from her thoughts.

"Asher?" she whispered, "I need you to come out from under my shirt right now. Are you hiding because of the angry words Da was using?"

The scared boy's muffled voice shook as he spoke. "He was really mad, Mama."

She continued to stroke his arm as she slowly walked them over to the kitchen table to sit down. With carefully placed hands, Rachel lowered herself to the chair and started to pull her shirt up. Asher tried to tug the shirt down but his mother stopped him from covering his head again. "No, Bug," she said firmly, "I need you to look at my face and listen to my words. Please."

When a sad face peeked out from behind the floral cloth, Rachel smiled. "Thank you for listening to me, Bug. I need to to focus on what I'm saying. It's very important."

"Okay, Mama," he sniffed. Asher climbed up onto his mother's lap and put a hand on her belly. "I want to make sure my babies aren't scared."

Her heart broke when he said that, she was sure of it. He was trying to be brave for his siblings but she could see his chin tremble when he spoke.

Rachel kissed his hand a few times while she thought how she should explain things to him. "The man who is talking to Da is just here to make sure that we're taking care of you. He wants to make sure you have enough food to eat, a safe place to live and are healthy. Do you understand, Bug?"

Asher nodded. He put his ear down to his mother's belly and whispered quietly for a few moments. "My babies understand now, Mama," he declared. "They say they're not scared anymore because I told them I will stay with them."

"Thank you, Asher. It's my job and Da's job take care of them, too," she replied. "We're the grown ups and we'll take care of you and your little brother and sister. You don't need to worry about that, ever."

Mother and son sat in silence for a few moments until Asher's stomach started to growl. The pair laughed at the unexpected sound.

"Mama! I forgot to finish breakfast. Can I have some more fruit please?" he giggled.

Rachel smiled and put some cantaloupe and strawberries into a bowl before setting it on the table in front of her son. "Here you go, Bug. I think I'll get another glass of juice."

As she filled her cup she knew that she would have to go into the living room soon and dreaded the thought. Her fathers had endured a similar experience back when Rachel was a little girl so the knots in her stomach were getting bigger by the second. She remembered sitting down on their family couch being questioned by a woman whose scowl still made her flinch. She didn't want her son to have those memories. _I'm the adult now. I am the one in charge of this situation and I'll do everything I can to protect my son._

Noah and Mr. King sat in the living room with the younger man trying to hold himself together. He detested having to justify his life and his family's life but he'd do what was necessary to keep them safe, even if he had to hold his tongue.

The man in the suit shuffled through his briefcase when he started to speak, "I need to ask you a few questions, Mr. Puckerman. I've been sent to make sure your son Asher is being adequately provided and cared for."

Noah leaned forward to rest his arms on his knees. "Mr. King, Rachel and I work our asses..." He groaned when he heard himself swear. "I mean we work hard to take care of Asher. He's either here or at his grandfathers' house every day. Between the four of us we do all his therapy, doctors' visits and whatever else we need to do to help him keep up with other kids his age. _Everything_ we do is for him. Whoever told you we don't take care of him is full of shi-... crap."

The older man wrote a few notes in his file while Noah spoke but stopped when the word 'therapy' was mentioned. His eyebrow shot up, "Therapy? What sort of therapy are you speaking of?"

"That's great that you were only given part of the story, huh?" Noah scoffed, "We were in a pretty jacked up car accident when he was almost two. He had to learn how to do everything all over again. Everything."

"I'll need to get his medical information to confirm this, I'm sure you realize. And I'm not happy that I wasn't given such important information prior to this meeting," Mr King replied.

Noah leaned back as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Okay, so what do you need from me? You need to know how much I make? Easy. I can show you check stubs and tax returns. You need medical files? Easy. I have a cabinet filled with bills. You want to know how much I love my son? Ask him. He is so goddamn smart it'll scare you."

Mr. King smiled. "I'm sure he is, Mr. Puckerman. Kids today are a lot smarter than we give them credit for, in my opinion. Let's get on with the questions I have for you and then I'll talk to your wife and Asher. Can you please show me around your house?"

Thankfully the duplex was small so the "tour" didn't take too long. Noah made sure to show how the bookcase and dresser in their son's room were bolted to the wall as well as the covered electrical outlets. He had laughed years ago when Rachel had made the bedroom safer than anything he had seen before but he's so obnoxiously ecstatic she did now. It was all her "What if?" planning that was totally, completely and utterly saving their asses today. The fact that she made them keep their house as clean as a museum was definitely a few points in their favor too.

_I swear on all that is deep fried and cheesy I will thank my wife in the proper way for her insane love of cleanliness and organization when all this shit is over; which had better be goddamn quick._

His part of the interview was over which made him very happy but on the other hand, it was Asher's turn which did not make him happy at all. His son's earlier meltdown was the emotional version of getting kicked in the junk repeatedly with cleats after you forgot to wear your cup.

Mother and son finished their breakfasts as the conversation continued in the other room. The time ticked by slowly as they cleaned up after themselves then sat down again at the table to wait in silence for Noah and the social worker to finish.

After Rachel had entertained her son for what seemed like hours, her husband and Mr. King walked back into the kitchen. Asher quickly hid under his mother's shirt again and wrapped his arms around her as far as her could. She sent a panicked look to Noah but he just smiled back.

"It's gonna be okay, babe," he said as he squeezed her hand, "Mr. King is going to ask Ash a few questions before he talks to you. After he's done talking to us all he'll let us know what he thinks then go to file his report with social services. We both know that we haven't neglected him, Rach, so I know that it's gonna be okay. Got it?"

After a quick kiss to his cheek, Rachel whispered in his ear that she needed to excuse herself for a moment. "Noah, the babies seem to be pressing on my bladder quite a bit today and after several glasses of juice I really need to, well, you know... I apologize." She blushed.

Noah chuckled, "S'okay. I'm sure Mr. King understands the call of nature. We'll be here when you get back."

Mr. King nodded, "You go ahead, Mrs. Puckerman. I'll explain to your son what sort of questions I'll ask him, that way he won't be so worried. We'll wait until you get back to have our talk."

The brunette smiled nervously as she exited the room and walked quickly to the bathroom. Rachel had been extremely nervous the moment the man in the suit had introduced himself and the churning in her stomach had only gotten worse. In front of her son and husband she had put on a brave face but now that she was alone behind the closed door it was a different story. She fell to her knees with a thud as a wave of nausea hit her and despite her best efforts to control her body she soon emptied her stomach into the toilet.

"I can do this. I can definitely do this," she meekly choked out. "I just need to brush my teeth, go back to the kitchen and everything will be fine. We're good parents, I know we are!"

She pushed herself up slowly as she leaned on the countertop for leverage. For some reason it was taking a surprising amount of energy to pull herself together that morning. She reminded herself that she needed to compose herself in front of her family for a little while longer and she had the talent to do it. Rachel rubbed her belly as she felt the babies move, another reason that focus was paramount. After a quick splash of water to her face and a few swishes of mouthwash she walked back into the kitchen with a smile to that was passable to most strangers.

"Okay, Mr. King. What exactly will you be asking my son?" she asked quietly.

The older man started to explain, "Well, first of all I'll ask him questions to find out of if he knows the difference between the truth and a lie since not all kids are verbally able to explain it. I'll also find out if he knows his name and address as well as your names, that sort of thing."

Asher stepped to stand by his mother with his hand resting on her midsection. The social worker could see the young boy was definitely a protective older brother so there was a familial bond in place. The tour he had gotten from the father had also made him much more optimistic about the report he was going to file. It would be an excellent day if the rest of the visit went as well as the first part had, it was too rare to have an unfounded case.

"Then I'll ask him a few questions about his care," he continued, "I have to make sure the allegations that were made are well-founded or hopefully, not. I think that about covers it. Are you ready to answer a few questions for me Asher?"

Asher looked from his mother to his father to see their response. He mimicked their nodding as he replied, "Okay. Then can I change into my play clothes? I look silly in my pj's."

"Yeah, Ash. After you talk to Mr. King we'll get you dressed for the day." Puck laughed.

Mr. King gestured to the living room and the family started to walk toward the couch.

"Mr. and Mrs. Puckerman," he interjected, "I'm going to need to interview Asher by himself. I apologize for not giving you this information earlier, but it is necessary to make sure I get his answers with no outside influence."

Noah opened his mouth to talk but stopped when he felt his wife's hand squeeze his arm. She gave him a look that reminded him that this was one of the rare times in his life that he needed to stop talking immediately.

Rachel nodded and gestured toward the living room couch, "Could you talk to him in the living room? It's an open area and he wouldn't feel claustrophobic sitting on the couch."

"Excellent idea," he agreed. "Asher, could you please sit on the couch with me so I could ask you a few questions?"

After some assuring words from his parents he agreed and waved to his parents as they walked out through the kitchen's sliding glass doors. They let him know that they could still see him and Mr. King in the living room but would be watching from across the room.

"Are the questions math questions?" Asher asked, "If they're about math I'm not very good at it yet. I really like music and gym and Lego and video games..."

Mr. King smiled, "No. No math questions. It's my job to make sure you're safe. Okay? Are you ready for some easy questions?"

The young boy wiggled a little where he sat then smoothed his shirt before he smiled in agreement, "Okay. I can do easy questions."

"So, I can tell you're a smart kid Asher. Can you tell me the difference between the truth and a lie?" he asked.

After a few moments of scratching his head Asher said, "A lie is what is wrong. The truth is what is right."

"That is very good!" the social worker enthused, "So if I said that my shirt was pink with green stripes would that be a lie or the truth?"

Asher laughed loudly, "That would be a lie and ugly!"

"Okay, I think you know the difference. Now let me ask some more questions," he continued, "What is your favorite thing to eat? My favorite is cheese pizza."

"My GrandPapa makes the best almond butter and black currant jelly sammich. It's delicious! I ate it so fast I got hiccups. I had to wait to have my ice cream." He covered his mouth in embarrassment.

Mr. King smiled, "It does sound delicious. My Mom always made me eat all my vegetables before I had dessert. Does your Mom do that too?"

"Yeah," Asher groaned, "Fruit at breakfast and veggies _and_ fruit at lunch and dinner. She always says that I'm a growing boy and need to get good stuff from all the food groups. I don't like all the veggies but I have to try five bites because I'm five."

"My parents used to make me do the same thing." The older man smiled. "My Mom always made me sit at the table when I ate and I had to sit up straight because she said I would digest my food better. She made me and my brother sit at the table and share what we had done at school that day, too."

Asher nodded. "My Mama and Da and me always have dinner together. Every other Friday is brisket night at my Nana Puckerman's and Wednesday is when we go to my Grandpas' house for noodle night. It's fun. Mama says it's about tra- tra-"

"Traditions?" the older man ventured.

"Yes! That's it. Mama says those are very important." He nodded as he spoke. "She says that it's important to take care of my stuff because clothes and toys costs money and we have to save for... something. When I'm older I'm going to get a job with Da so Mama doesn't have to work so much."

"That's very nice of you, Asher. Your Mom is a teacher, right?"

"Yup. She teaches music at my school so we eat lunch together." Asher leaned over to whisper, "That's how she can check to see if I'm eating my veggies and fruits! She's very smart."

The older man nodded his head in agreement, "To be a teacher she must be very smart. But sometimes adults do forget to do things, right? Does your mother or father forget to make sure you eat?"

"Oh no," Asher shook his head. "My Mama and Da always make sure I eat the good food and take a bath and sleep and get to my special swimming lessons on time. They remember everything! When I was a baby a truck smashed our car and we all got hurt. Now I need to go to special exercises at the hospital and stupid speech to talk like the other kids in kindergarten."

Rachel and Noah stood on their back porch watching their son talk animatedly to the social worker. She lay her head on his chest and was having a difficult time trying to focus on positive thoughts. He stroked the back of her head and worked his fingers through her hair.

"It's gonna be okay, Rach," he whispered. "We're fuckin' awesome parents and everyone who matters to us knows that. We work so hard to help Ash fit in with the other kids it's ridiculous. Do you know anybody else our age that has their entire life planned around their kid's therapy?"

She thought for a moment then shook her head.

"Exactly!" he replied. "We make sure he follows his pain in the ass diet because we know it helps him. He goes to every therapy possible to help him do the same shit all the other kids do. We just do it, Rach. We do it because we know he goddamn needs it."

His voice was so emphatic that she almost missed the tear that had threatened to spill from his eye. She lay both her palms on the side of his face and stroked his cheekbones with her thumbs to try to reassure him.

"You're right. We both know how hard we work, Noah," she soothed. "It's obvious we're not like other kids our age who are worrying about what party to go do on a Friday night and we're worried about getting Asher to his swim therapy on time. I know we're good parents but I'm still scared."

With a grin he squeezed her closer at the same time he hooked a finger under her pajama top to graze her belly. She squeaked when he added a second and third digit to draw letters on her expanse.

"What are you trying to say? Noah?" She giggled. "Noah! You know how ticklish I am."

Her hand moved to lay atop his in the hopes that it would stop his purposeful movements that were making her twitch. Rachel knew her husband was trying to keep them both from giving into their fears and keep the mood light so she rolled her eyes when he shook his head.

"Just be still for a sec, Rach," he smirked. "Just pay attention to the letters. Didn't you win a shitload of spelling bees when you were Ash's age? C'mon, smarty, and tell me what I'm trying to say."

Rachel exhaled loudly with an accompanying dramatic scowl on her face as she concentrated on the letters he was repeating.

"Okay that's an 'i'?" she ventured.

He nodded, "That one was easy. Now try to guess this word." He began to spell out a word he needed to say more often than he did. Noah spelled it over and over until she grinned from ear to ear.

A few seconds later she stopped his hand and stretched up to kiss him, "I love you too. I love you so..."

She flinched for a second then sucked in some air as pushed his hand to the spot where she had felt the pain. "Braxton-Hicks. I just started to feel those again. I don't remember them being this intense at this early with Asher."

He felt her belly become taut for a few seconds before it relaxed again. It happened a few more times then stopped just as unexpectedly as it had started.

"Seriously? That shit still scares me," he breathed. "It's been almost six years since we had Ash so my memory has conveniently forgotten a lot of it. You okay babe?"

Rachel half-smiled at his reply, "Yup, we're good. Although now they're doing cartwheels to show their displeasure after those contractions."

Noah took her hand and led her to the chairs they had scattered on the porch. He sat down on one then pulled her onto his lap at the same time he wrapped his arms around her. She lay her head back on his shoulder to settle into his warmth.

They both sat with their hands on her midsection feeling the kicks and jabs just under the surface until they heard the sliding glass door open. Asher ran towards them with a huge grin on his face as Mr. King followed behind him.

"Asher did a great job with his interview, Mr. and Mrs. Puckerman," the older man said. "You should be very proud of your smart son. He answered every question with very thoughtful replies as well as read me one of his favorite books."

"It's your turn to talk now, Mama," Asher said as he bounced. "You can talk to Mr. King."

Rachel tried to smile as her husband helped her up to stand, "Okay. I'm ready, sir."

* * *

_**A/N: Please take a moment to review or comment. It's what writers live for!**_


	16. Chapter 16

Title: **Patience Is For Amateurs **(sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck has a potty mouth and Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football sweatshirt I got on eBay.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and major thank yous to knkykty who rocks my world as a beta. Shout out to my tweeple who keep me entertained with their awesome.

_**"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.**_

* * *

Rachel smiled weakly as she and Mr. King walked into the living room to sit on the couch. She chewed on her thumbnail nervously while she lowered herself carefully to the cushions. In her head she knew that she and her husband were doing everything humanly possible to help their son thrive but the sinking feeling in her stomach was currently winning the argument. The idea that their son and the babies she was carrying could be taken from them had been her predominant thought from the moment the social worker had shown up at their house.

Seeing the panicked look on her face the older man tried to reassure her. "I promise this won't take any longer than it has to. My whole purpose in coming here is to find out if the allegations held any merit. I'm here to collect data then report those findings back to my supervisor."

"I'm sure you understand how it feels more like an inquisition than a fact finding visit to me and my family, sir," Rachel whispered. She absentmindedly stroked her belly as she looked from Mr. King to her son and husband sitting in the kitchen.

Asher had decided that they should play Go Fish to pass the time in an attempt to stay downstairs. He was feeling nervous and wanted to keep an eye on his mother. He was also very protective of his younger siblings and didn't want them to be scared like he was when he had to answer questions.

"Da?" he asked. "Do you have any threes? Um, Mama looks scared to me. She is doing that thingy with her thumb when she doesn't want to talk. I wish I could sit next to her and tell her it's okay."

Noah squeezed his son's shoulder. "Yeah, I wish we could sit next to her too but we have to follow the rules. Go fish."

The boy exhaled loudly as he drew a card from the deck. He glanced at the pictures in his hands then set down a matched pair. "Papa?" he asked. "Can we please go upstairs so I can put some play clothes on? I feel weird having company when I'm wearing pajamas."

Noah nodded. He took his son's hand as they quietly tiptoed through the living room and gave a small wink as they walked past his nervous wife. She gave him a half-hearted smile in return then went back to her conversation with Mr. King. The sadness was obvious on her face but he tried to push it aside as he and Asher climbed the stairs to help get his son dressed.

"Da?" Asher said quietly. "I'm scared that Mr. King will take me with him when he leaves and I won't see you and Mama or the babies ever again."

Noah sat down on the carpeted floor and motioned for his son to sit next to him. He knew that his son picked things up more quickly than other kids his age but sometimes he was downright intuitive.

"He's not going to take you away from us," he said quietly. "Your Mama and I have showed him that we can take good care of you and that you're safe with us. It's going to be okay, Bug."

Asher climbed into his lap and clung to his father's shirt. The sound of a small sniffle was soon heard as he felt a warm hand gently pat his back. They both sat there in silence until the sound of Noah's cellphone ringing in his back pocket startled them both.

"Who is it, Da?" Asher asked.

Noah flicked his thumb to unlock his phone. He had to admit that he had the same question as well.

_**Hudson**_

"It's my friend Finn," he replied. "Weird. I'm gonna answer it. Can you get dressed by yourself while I see what's up?"

Asher nodded. "Mama said earlier it was going to be a long sleeve shirt day. I want to wear my red hoodie today, the one with your football number on it."

Noah tousled his son's hair. "Awesome idea, Bug. I'll sit right here while I talk to him just in case you need some help."

As his father spoke in hushed tones, the little boy pawed through his dresser drawers for something to wear. He found the sweatshirt he wanted, an undershirt along with a favored pair of jeans. He easily slipped them on, then began to rifle through his comic books to find one to read while he waited.

"Okay, so you guys will be over at six?" Noah said for the third time. "You know how Rach is about scheduling. It's been a pretty shi- um, uh, crappy day so don't be late."

When his father's voice began to become louder as he spoke, Asher fidgeted unconsciously as he tried to focus on the diversion of reading but the agitation stopped as soon as the noise canceling headphones were slid over his ears.

Noah winked at his son. "I apologize for hurting your ears, Ash. I'll talk to Finn more quietly while you keep reading. He and Quinn are coming over tonight so we're trying to decide what to make for dinner."

Asher nodded his head before he collapsed into the beanbag chair with a smile.

The hushed conversation between the two men continued as they caught up on recent events in each other's lives. Several times Noah glanced over to his son, who was apparently going through all of his comic books and had stacked them into neatly organized piles. His son was very much a mix of his wife, the part that needed order, and himself, the part that needed excitement as much as possible. It was obvious things were taking too long so he needed to cut his call to Finn short.

Noah interrupted his friend mid-sentence, "Uh, Finn? I gotta go. Somebody is getting squirrelly so I think it's time for some gaming while we wait for Rachel to finish." He paused a moment to wait for a reply. "Yeah. Thanks. It'll be over soon and we can get back to our lives. I'll see you later Finn and don't forget the beer. Bye."

Downstairs, Rachel and Mr. King continued to talk about her son's therapy, what adaptations had to be made for him at school, as well as the diet his pediatrician had put him on. She was starting to get tired when her son and husband walked back through the living room.

"Hi babe," he said, smiling. "We're gonna go in the back yard and throw the football around while you two talk, okay?"

She gave them both a kiss then quietly nodded as she watched them leave. She absentmindedly rubbed her belly for a moment before she failed miserably to stifle a yawn that had snuck up on her.

"I do apologize, Mr. King," she said as she blushed. "I haven't been sleeping well lately since the twins started their internal assault. It's starting to get harder and harder to get comfortable."

Mr. King nodded. "I can imagine." He folded his leather clad notebook then smiled at Rachel as he spoke. "Well, I think every concern has been covered in the interviews with yourself, your son, and your husband. I do appreciate your willingness to cooperate with us, Mrs. Puckerman. You'll be hearing from my office by Monday."

She pushed herself off the couch to stand with the social worker and politely shake his hand. "Of course, sir," she said quietly. She opened the door for him then exhaled loudly as she shut it behind him. A few swift kicks to her midsection reminded her that she needed to try to eat again since her breakfast hadn't stayed down. Rachel paused again as she thought for a moment on what might be light and easy to digest. She popped two slices of bread in the toaster and waited.

Her husband's booming voice startled her a few seconds later. "Babe. You didn't tell us that he left! You okay?"

Asher rushed to his mother's side at the kitchen counter and wrapped his arms around her. He stood there for a while talking to her belly as she giggled. "What are you doing, Bug? You're laughing a lot, are you telling jokes to the babies?" she asked.

"Yes, Mama." Asher nodded. "They are laughing a lot. Can you feel it?"

The three of them stood there for a few minutes with their hands spread wide, feeling the fluttering of kicks and jabs underneath. It had been such a long morning that a quiet and happy moment was exactly what they all needed. Rachel exhaled loudly. "I can, Bug. It's one of the best feelings when they remind me how strong they're getting. Thank you for making them laugh, Ash."

"I'm being a good big brother, right, Mama? Right, Da?" Asher smiled.

"Yeah, Bug. You're doing a great job so far," Noah quickly replied. He had scrambled for a response when he saw that his wife had started to tear up.

This was definitely not how he had envisioned having some time with his family before having their friends over to catch up. Because of all the emotional drama they were already going through, the arrival of the social worker had just made them take a few steps backward. The rest of the day would have to be focused on Rachel and making sure she was feeling her best, he reminded himself.

"Can you get dressed now, Mama?" Asher asked. "We need to get food for our friends tonight. Papa said Finn and Quinn are coming over tonight and we can have cream puffs for dessert."

Rachel pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow at her husband who was trying to stifle a smirk.

"You promised cream puffs," she sighed. "You had to promise something you know is my personal Achilles' heel so I will be unable to say no. Jerk."

He nodded while their son broke away from them and began to do a happy dance. "You love me, Rach. You love me despite my obvious skill of food blackmail. Admit it. C'mon." He gently dragged his fingers through her hair until she put both of her palms on his cheeks.

"I love you _because_ of your superior verbal skills, Noah Asher Puckerman, not in spite of. You also seem to have some sort of sway over me when you touch me," she laughed. "I probably shouldn't have given all those secrets away so easily."

Their son stopped dancing to watch his parents talk quietly to each other. "Da, stop trying to kiss Mama. She needs to get ready to go to the store," Asher scolded.

Rachel's eyes widened. "We'll just have to continue this discussion another time since we have a few things to do before Quinn and Finn arrive." She placed a peck on her husband's cheek before she turned and excused herself.

* * *

Quinn and Finn stood outside their friends' door with their arms full of movies, pizza toppings and the cupcakes Rachel had requested. After Noah had quietly hinted to his friend earlier that day that something was happening at their house that he couldn't really say more about until later, the newly engaged couple had tried to guess what it could be.

"Maybe they're looking at buying a house?" Quinn suggested.

Finn shook his head. "Nope. Their landlord said that if they make any improvements to the duplex that he'd take it off their rent so Puck wants to fix up the kitchen for Rachel as a Christmas present. She really want new appliances."

"You can't keep a secret for shit, Hudson," Noah groaned from the doorway. "I don't know why I keep you so well informed. Seriously."

The taller man jumped back at the unexpected voice interrupting the couple's external thought processes.

Quinn playfully stuck her tongue out at Noah. "I'm his fiancee so Finn doesn't keep secrets from me. Especially about my best friend."

Asher peeked out from behind his father with a pair of drumsticks in his hands. "Are you ready to play, Uncle Finn? I have the game all ready!"

Finn laughed loudly while Quinn beamed. There had been a gamer rivalry between the little boy and his father's good friend that seemed to grow every year along with Asher's skills.

"Noah!" Rachel called from the kitchen. "Let them in, please. I'm hungry for pizza and Quinn's red velvet cupcakes."

Noah stepped aside and made an exaggerated bowing gesture as he rolled his eyes. "So help me Hudson if Rach finds out I will make you pay," he said between his gritted teeth.

"Da! Stop being mean to your friend," Asher commanded. "You always tell me that I need to be nice, but why don't you need to be nice?"

"The kid does have a point, Puck," Finn agreed.

Before any rugburns, wedgies or noogies could be exchanged, Quinn swiftly set the bags down then covered both their mouths as she shoved them towards the living room. "No more fighting unless it's in a video game," she barked. "Got it?"

The blonde walked into the kitchen to see her friend attempting to stifle a yawn.

"It's just five and you're already tired?" Quinn laughed. "You'll be asleep by dessert won't you?" She sat down at the table next to Rachel and squeezed the other woman's hand. "Babies being active today?"

Rachel smiled sadly. "I wish that was the only reason I feel like taking a nap for the next week or two. It's just been a really long day. Thank you so much for coming over, I really need the diversion."

"Quinn?" Finn said from the doorway. "Want me to put the groceries in the fridge? Puck thought we'd start getting dinner in half an hour."

Quinn nodded but went back to the brunette who had started to chew on her thumbnail. "I'll listen whenever you need me to, Rach. I don't want you stressing yourself out, okay? It's not good for you or the babies."

"I know, I know," Rachel whispered. "Right now I just want to eat some pizza with my friends and enjoy their company until I fall asleep in the middle of a movie I've been wanting to watch forever. Can we do that, please?"

"Okay, but don't expect me to eat one of your weird concoctions, Berry." Quinn smiled. "Pineapple doesn't belong anywhere near a pizza. It's disgusting!"

Rachel's jaw dropped. "Pineapple is delicious and is the perfect accompaniment to tomatoes as well as cheese."

Several groans were heard from the three in the living room, then a small voice dramatically gagging.

Quinn winked. "Sounds like the peanut gallery agrees with me. So that's four to three, we win!"

Rachel winced. "I don't think these two are particularly happy with being on the losing team. They're kicking up a storm!" She rubbed her bump on the spots that were receiving the internal assault.

"Can I feel?" Quinn asked.

Taking her friend's hand, Rachel guided it to the place where she was feeling the most activity. "Ow! I think that's a foot and up here is a knee." She winced again.

Quinn's eyes widened as she felt the flurry of movement underneath her hand. She smiled as the jabs slowly subsided and Rachel exhaled loudly.

"That is the most insane feeling, Rach! I can't even imagine what it feels like on the receiving end," the blonde enthused.

"I have to admit it does make me feel better when I feel them move but when they play soccer like that it does hurt." Rachel half-smiled. "Some days I'm afraid that they'll crack a rib or two."

"Can that really happen?" Quinn gasped. "They can't really do that, can they?"

Rachel nodded. "It's more likely if you're petite or expecting twins and as you know, I won the lottery there. I have to say I was surprised to find out that old wives' tale was true."

Quinn blinked a few times in amazement as she squeezed the young mother's hand.

"We'll be okay, right?" Rachel said as she blinked some tears away.

Before Quinn could voice any of the many concerns that were now rushing through her head, a loud voice boomed behind her.

"Rachel," Finn groaned, "where did your son get his gaming skills because he just seriously beat me and Puck. I was beat by a five year old, Quinn! That kid is crazy smart. I figure he got that from his mother."

Rachel smiled. "I think he got his reflexes from Noah but I think he got his intelligence from both of us. My husband is incredibly smart, Finn." Her breath hitched as she paused. "He can fix anything if it's broken. He really can."

"What can I do now, Rach?" Noah asked as he walked in the kitchen with Asher. "I am a man on many talents after all."

When her son ran over and settled his head on her shoulder it nearly made the tears in Rachel's eyes spill over but instead she hugged him close and smiled widely.

"Mama, can we make the pizza please? I'm so hungry," Asher said as he batted his eyes.

"Oh yes, Bug." She nodded. "What would you like on your pizza? Mushrooms and pepperoni?"

The little boy shook his head. "I think I am hungry for bacon, Mama. Can we make some cinnamon breadsticks for dessert too? Yum!"

Finn picked up Asher and placed him high on his tall shoulders.

"Hudson, you need to be unbelievably careful with my son. Got it?" Noah whispered. "Rachel could go into labor early if she gets too stressed and it's way too early."

Finn nodded fretfully as he watched his fiancee and her best friend start to discuss with animated gestures what they'd like for dinner. There was no way he would want Rachel and Puck's babies to be born too early, he had heard stories about how tiny babies needed to have very expensive around the clock care. When Rachel, Puck and Asher were in that bad crash back in high school he remembered how petrified he was when he visited them in the hospital, so imagining visiting tiny babies bordered on terrifying.

Quinn was standing in front of the open refrigerator door, pulling multiple items out to make the salad she had decided on. "I'm not going to eat pizza, Rach, so quit trying to seduce me with its' cheesy goodness. I'm planning a wedding for next spring and there is no way I'm going to be an overweight bride," she asserted.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Are you serious? I'm about half way through a multiple pregnancy and _you're_ concerned about being overweight at your wedding? I think Noah is going to have to roll me down the aisle due to my excess baby fat."

"Mama!" Asher chided. "My babies are not fat. That's not nice to say about people, you told me."

Noah grabbed his son from Finn to put him on his hip, so he could talk softly in the boy's ear. "We all had a hard day today and maybe you just need to give your Mama a hug. She always makes me feel better when I get angry and frustrated about stuff. Go on. Go sit on her lap and give her a hug."

Asher swiftly wiggled out of his father's arms and found his way onto his mother's shrinking lap. He lay his head down on her shoulder as he did earlier, placed a hand on her belly, then wrapped his other arm around her. He inhaled then exhaled gradually against her neck. "I'm really sorry, Mama. Today has been really strange and I don't know how to feel," he said quietly. "Can we just be happy again, please? I want to eat pizza and play video games and be happy with my family."

"Everything is okay now, sweet boy," Rachel soothed. "Don't worry about anything. Your Da and I are here so if you need anything to make you feel better you just tell us."

"Your Mama is right, Ash," Noah agreed. "Right now we're gonna make some awesome tasting food, then we're gonna beat Finn at some video games and then demolish those cupcakes that Quinn brought. Whaddaya think?"

Asher looked to his mother, who smiled, then back to his father before he grinned. "Let's do it, Da!"

The small group assembled their individual masterpieces, including Quinn who was told she must, then placed them on the counter next to the warming oven. After the first batch was started and the timer set, everyone ambled into the living room to begin the big competition.

Rachel lay down on the couch with Asher on the floor in front on her and Quinn settled in by the brunette's folded legs. When Finn and Noah walked in to do some gaming, they choked back laughter as they gestured toward the brunette who was yawning yet again.

"How much do you wanna bet that she's asleep before it's time to eat?" Finn whispered.

The two men exchanged looks but stopped short of continuing the conversation when they saw Quinn glowering in their direction. Noah began to whistle when he collapsed into his favorite chair with enough of a smirk to make the blonde growl.

The group played a rather heated racing game, save Rachel, until a delicious smell came wafting into everyone's nose soon followed by some shrill beeping. Quinn stayed behind to attempt to rouse the other woman while the rest ran to the kitchen to check on the pizza.

"Rach?" Quinn whispered. "It's time to wash up for dinner. C'mon, sleepyhead. It's time to get up and eat." She reached out to nudge the sleeping woman awake when the brunette abruptly sat up.

"No! You can't take them!" Rachel yelled. "Please, please don't take them!" Her eyes flew open and her arms began to flail while tears fell down her face.

Quinn swiftly brought Rachel into a hug as began to whisper soothing words into the panicked woman's ear. "It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. You can tell me what's wrong and we'll figure it out together. It's going to be okay."

"Oh Qui-i-inn!" Rachel sniffed. "I-I'm so scared. I don't know how things are ever going to be okay."

* * *

_**A/N 2: **_Thank you to everyone who waited for this chapter! Real life took precedence for a while along with a bad case of writer's block but happily both are taken care of. Please take a moment to comment and/or review. It's what writers live for!


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